My shoulders slouched; her riddles made my head hurt. “What exactly is wrong with him? Why does he think he can only live if he surrounds himself in ice and removes himself from any emotion whatsoever?”
Jasmine sniffed. “That’s his secret to tell, and I will not break his trust. And you don’t understand—there is nothing wrong with him. He’s perfect. Just…not perfect for this family.”
“You’re of the same blood and seem very close. Are you saying you aren’t fit for this family, either?”
Jasmine smiled. “Smart. I suppose you could say that. Jethro and I are a different breed. Born and bred to the same parents but we inherited a different kind of madness than the rest of my relations.”
I didn’t want to hurt her, but I needed to know. In over a month that I’d been a ward of the Hawks, Jasmine was the first woman I’d come across, not counting the maids. Why was that?
“Does your mother live here, too?”
Jasmine pursed her lips. “My mother is of no consequence. Besides, I’m the protégé of Bonnie Hawk. I have more than enough maternal guidance.”
That was the second time I’d heard of Bonnie Hawk. Kes had told me she was in charge of the family’s expenses—his grandmother.
As much as I wanted to meet this elusive woman who held an entire family of men under her thumb, I wanted to stay under her notice for as long as possible.
We sat in silence for a time, before Jasmine said, “You should go. And don’t tell Jethro you came to see me. He wouldn’t handle that well.”
“Why?”
She stared for a long moment, as if deciding what to divulge. Finally, she said, “Because in his mind, we are both his. Both under his protection and both in our own little pockets of reality where he can cope. If he knew we’d met and discussed him, the pressure of keeping us protected would increase.”
I felt like a parrot as I asked again, “Why?”
“Because, Nila Weaver, he’s been raised having no one to protect him and living in a world where just the hint of being who he truly was meant he could be gone tomorrow. Ever since he could understand the differences between him and our father, he’s lived with the shadow of his own mortality. Cut wouldn’t hesitate, you see…”
She swallowed, a sudden flare of pain filling her gaze. “He’s lived twenty-nine years hiding, because if he didn’t, one day he’d be gone and he’d leave me all alone. Knowing that we had met would only give him something else to fear.”
My heart pounded with every word she spoke. “Fear?”
Jasmine hunched, her voice drifting to a fateful whisper. “Fear what we spoke about. Fear how much of his nature came to light. Fear just how much you knew, because ultimately, it’s not him who has the power to destroy you—but you who has the power to destroy him.”
By the time I crawled into my bed, my head hadn’t stopped spinning.
Jasmine was prickly and wise—an enigma who adored her brother and would do anything to protect him.
Her words were an invitation but also a threat to stay away.
Would she soften if she knew I’d fallen for him?
Would she help me understand him—grant me the help I needed to claim Jethro for my own?
She was as confusing as her brother.
And I knew our conversation hadn’t ended. I would return. Again and again.
Until I learned the truth.
But I also had other questions—many, many questions.
It hadn’t escaped my notice that she sewed. There’d been an in-progress cross-stitch on her bed, along with a paper chart folded haphazardly. Was she like me and enjoyed the simple creation…or…was it more sinister?
Could she be more Weaver than Hawk?
And if she was…what did that mean?
I tossed and turned, unable to shut off the voices inside my head forming outlandish conclusions.
Just as the dawn stole the stars, sleep finally crept over me.
But it wasn’t restful.
Yet more questions chased me into dreamland.
Why did Jasmine never come down from her room?
And who truly wielded the power of the Hawks?
THE WEEK AFTER the polo match passed uneventfully.
Tuesday, I went for a hunt on Wings.
Wednesday, I saw Nila at breakfast before leaving to hide in my office until sundown.
Thursday, I was out late dealing with a special shipment of pink diamonds already purchased and due for delivery to a private yacht docked for one night in Southhampton.
Friday, I tried one last time to ‘fix’ myself, but Jasmine was right. The ice no longer worked, no matter what I did.
But I had a better option—a new regimen that Nila had selflessly given me.
Saturday, I spent the afternoon with Kes and the Diamond brothers playing poker in the billiards room of the Hall—deliberately giving my heart time to adjust to the life-shattering change of what’d happened between Nila and me.
I was ready to admit to myself that my world had changed.
It was time to face what I’d been running from all my life.
However, the next day smashed my hopes and dreams and hurled me right back into the darkness where I belonged.
The last day of the week…the day that belonged to love and togetherness, only brought pain and sadness.
Sunday, I received the worst news of all.
“Jethro, come with me, please.” Cut popped his head into my bachelor wing.
I jumped as if I’d been caught red-handed, just like I’d done most of my life whenever he’d appeared out of nowhere. Sliding a pillow over the tiny sharp knife I used to open the old cuts on my soles, I glowered at my unwanted visitor. “Come where?”
Nila had given me hope that soon I could stop hurting myself in such a way, but until I could be sure what she felt for me was irreversible, I had to use something to keep me in check.
Ice wasn’t working—pain would have to do.
Cut’s gaze fell to my scarred feet. “Do you need a session?”
The concern in his eyes was the key ingredient to how he’d been controlling me for so many years. He made me believe that he was there for me. That he wanted to help me. That I was the chosen one and deserved to inherit all that he had to give.