Chapter 27
Maia
I know something’s wrong with Jackson. It’s a bit hard to find out what, though, since he hasn’t answered his phone since he hightailed it out of here earlier. I pay for the mountain of Thai food I ordered when there were two of us. But my appetite is well and truly gone. I decide to make the call to Megs to check on my mother.
“Hi honey,” she answers happily after two rings.
“Hey, Aunt Megs, how are you and Mom doing?”
“Great!” she answers. After catching me up on the fact that my so-called father has not been in contact with her, and that she has been volunteering at the local church, I’m satisfied that everything is going well. I ask about money and she tells me that they’re fine. After promising to visit next week, we hang up. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I will always run from my past, but I won’t stop feeling bad for the people I left behind, at least the ones who deserve it.
My thoughts wander to Jackson. I left him behind. I’m still leaving him behind. My phone rings shrilly next to me, startling me out of my pity party. Jade’s name flashes across the screen.
“Hi,” I answer immediately. I miss Jade so much. Real friends like her are so rare, and it makes me miserable that she’s so far away.
“Hey, babe!” she says happily. We chat on for awhile about Providence and Atlanta, and the girls who she has been seeing lately. I tell her about Blake, and debrief her on what’s happening with Jackson.
“He’s really proud Maia,” she says. “Don’t push the offers of help on him. It won’t end well.”
“I figured that out,” I reply.
“Hey, I actually called because I wanted to talk to you about Jackson.”
Oh, why?” I ask, definitely curious.
“He called me a little while ago, to tell me to watch my back. He said he’ll see me next week. Did he tell you he was making a trip down here?”
“No,” I say, confused as hell. He would tell me something like that, wouldn’t he? Or would he. Maybe that’s not the sort of thing he tells his friends?
“Maia, I heard rumors that Emmanuel is up to something big, and that he needs Jackson. I don’t know what’s happening with you guys, but he doesn’t need to come back here for anything to do with Emmanuel. You need to make sure.” Jade sounds like she’s on the verge of tears.
“Big, like what, Jade?” I ask.
“I don’t know, but whatever it is it’s not good.” Jade’s voice breaks with worry. “Maia, this is not your neighborhood, when shit goes down here, people die. That’s how it is.”
My heart seizes in my chest. The words die and Jackson should never be used in the same sentence.
“I’ll talk to him,” I say before we end the call.
I try Jackson’s phone a few more times over the course of the evening, with no success. My heart sinks. Apparently, friends don’t have the luxury of knowledge of their friends’ comings and goings.
The weekend rolls by with no word from Jackson. Blake seems to pop up every time I’m at the Bean, and for a brief moment I consider the fact that he may well be waiting in the back, every day until I arrive. Good thing I’ve never been that vain. By Monday, I’m over the fact that Jackson won’t take my calls. In fact, I’m more than a little pissed. When I swing by his dorm room, Ben, his roommate, who I know realize is not always tired but just a complete stoner, tells me that he’s not there, but has barely left the room for most of the week.
I wait until Wednesday and just after lunch make my way over to the basketball courts. If there was ever a guarantee in this world, it’s that he’d be there. Sure enough, as I approach the courts, I see Jackson slamming his way across the court defensively, practically knocking down the other guys in the process. He’s normally a team player. Apparently, a lot’s changed since last week. I make my way over to the courtside and wait for him to notice me standing there. He does more than once, but averts his eyes back to the game, barely acknowledging me standing there.
As the not so friendly game finishes. He makes his way over. “Hi,” I say meeting his eyes. Where I normally see happiness at the sight of me, today I see somberness and hostility. His eyes are stormy and dark, a far cry from their usual warmth. “So you’re just not talking to me anymore, just like that? Does this have something to do with Emmanuel? Don’t I deserve at least an answer of some depth?” I practically shout, the pitch of my voice increasing with my aggravation.
“Did Jade tell you about that?” he asks quietly. “What does it matter, Maia? You gave up the right to question me the day you decided that you didn’t to be with me.” Jackson wipes his hand across his sweaty forehead in frustration.
“You know my reasons, I thought you understood.” My voice sounds desperate because really, I have no comeback.
“What do you want me to understand, Maia? That you see me as some charity case that you keep offering handouts to? That your reasons are absolute bullshit? You let me go because you can’t get your own shit together, and I am the idiot who’s sitting around waiting for you to wake up and see what’s in front of you. Shit happens in all of our lives, but we don’t shove other people aside because of it. I’m there for the people I love, always. And that means that right now I have to f-ucking deal with Emmanuel.”
The weight of his words crushes me. Tears stain my cheeks, because I know that every single word is true. Jackson steps towards me and wipes a tear from below my eye. He pulls me into a fierce hug, the agonizing emotions pouring out from me filling the scant space between us.
He takes one final look into my eyes, barely able to hide the grief in his own, and turns and starts to walk away.
“Jackson, are you just gonna leave? I didn’t think you were the type to run away,” I shout desperately.
He turns to face me. “I have to walk away. Jesus, Maia, you really have no idea how much I love you, do you? Where I’m from that shit matters. But it’s not enough for you. You put us in this screwed up friendzone, because it’s what you wanted. I have not run a single day in my damn life and I’m not doing it now.” His voice is resolute, hard. “I’m walking away.”
He turns and walks off. As he does, a loud bang of thunder assaults the grey sky above, as if on cue. Ordered especially to add sound effects to the torrential heartbreak I feel.
I call Jade, hysterical, hardly able to piece together a sentence, and barely able to breathe.
“Maia? Maia!” Jade yells through the phone anxiously.
“What happened?” She pauses to wait for an answer that I don’t have the oxygen to give. “Calm down, let me call Jackson okay?” I nod into the phone as the line goes dead.