Chapter Twelve
New York City
Eight Years Later
“Which do you like better?” I ask anxiously, holding two dresses up before me, “The black, or the navy?”
Riley rolls her eyes at my outfit choices. “I’d like it if you ever bought anything that you couldn’t also wear to a funeral,” she replies.
“Would you be serious?” I plead, “My interview is in two hours, and god knows it’s probably going to take me an hour to get there, and I might have to stop and find a Starbucks to pee in first because I can’t ask to pee during an interview—”
“Abby,” Riley says, taking my just-scrubbed face in her hands. “Relax. You’re going to nail this. You are perfect for this job.”
I stare back at her, trying to have as much confidence in me as she does. In the past six years, Riley has transformed from a dissatisfied party girl to a successful PR powerhouse. She’s traded in the cheap vodka for top-shelf martinis and the house parties for bottle service and chef’s tables at all the best places in the city. We’ve been living together since we were eighteen, and are closer than ever because of it. But being close means being blunt, and she doesn’t hold back with me now.
“If you don’t take a breath and cool it, you’re going to be kicking yourself all the way home,” she says, marching me over to her closet. She rummages through her colorful wardrobe and hands me an emerald green blouse and yellow pencil skirt. “Here. Put these on.”
“They’re very...bright,” I say.
“Just like you!” she grins. “You’re interviewing at a creative agency, not a morgue, for Christ’s sake. A little color will be good, trust me.”
“Well. Thanks,” I sigh, taking the pieces and heading back into my room to change. “I won’t fill them out as well as you, but...”
“If you think I’m going to cry you a river for having stayed the same size since you were seventeen years old, you’ve got another thing coming to you,” Riley tells me. “Speaking of getting older, though, what do you want to do for your birthday this weekend?”
“Nothing,” I tell her through the crack in my bedroom door.
“That’s not an option,” she replies, as I slip into the clothes she’s leant me.
“You know I hate my birthday,” I call back, piling my hair into a quick, wispy up do. It’s still blonde, if a bit of a darker shade than when I was a kid. “All I ever want is to have a quiet night at home.”
“And you know that I’ve never taken that for an answer,” Riley reminds me, rustling around the kitchen.
“My grandparents are already taking me out to some swanky restaurant,” I tell her, “I owe it to them for letting us stay in this place.”
“They’re not using it,” Riley reminds me.
“Still,” I insist, “Living rent free is not exactly something to be taken for granted.”
“Not with what I spend on booze it isn’t,” Riley agrees. “At least let me take you out for a drink after your fancy dinner, OK? You can give me all the juicy family gossip.”
I cringe to think of what that gossip might be as I swipe some light makeup onto my face. Every time I see my grandparents, they spend at least an hour moaning about how badly my dad is doing. He’s been in and out of rehab since breaking up with “that woman,” as my grandparents like to refer Deb. After the brawl that ensued the morning after his wedding, I no longer make an effort to include him in my life. Some things can’t be forgiven, and the way he treated me that day is one of them.
“I’ll give you one birthday drink,” I tell Riley, grabbing my purse, “But no surprise karaoke this year, OK? Or surprise strippers. Or...You know what? Just no surprises period.”
“Cross my heart,” Riley smiles.
“Sure,” I say, stepping back out into the living room. “So? How do I look?”
“Fabulous, as ever,” she says, giving me a quick once-over. “They’re going to love you.”
“I hope so,” I sigh, “Bastian does such amazing work. They’re one of the best new creative agencies out there. It would be a dream to work for them.”
“So, tell them that!” Riley insists, giving me a quick hug and a pat on the ass. “Go get ‘em tiger.”
I take a deep breath and march out of our Upper West Side apartment.
It’s been a few months since I finished my masters program in graphic design. I’ve been able to freelance for a few different companies, and have built up my portfolio by doing so. I never pictured myself having such a tech-based job, always sort of assumed I’d stick with visual art exclusively. But graphic design lets me be just as creative as drawing does, and employ my mind in other ways, too. If I get this job as Bastian, I’ll be designing and helping come up with marketing strategies for different companies and brands. It would be something new every day, the perfect, totally consuming job. Just what I’m looking for.
Don’t get me wrong, I have other interests and hobbies, outside of work. I’m an avid runner, adore going out to restaurants, read like a maniac, and try and volunteer around the city. I just loathe downtime more than anything in the world. Downtime means thinking time, reminiscing time, and I want as little of that in my life as possible. Without fail, my thoughts always turn to the past if they’re not rooted in the present. And that’s never a pleasant experience for me.
I take the subway down to the Lower East Side, a neighborhood chock full of galleries, cool shops, and excellent cafes—not the mention some kickass bars. The Bastian offices are housed in a building that used to be a factory, once upon a time. These days, it has the industrial feel that’s so popular in the city while simultaneously being super high tech. The best of both worlds. I stop before the front door the office, taking a moment to check my reflection in the glass. Riley was right to suggest this top—it brings out the green in my hazel eyes nicely.
As I ring the buzzer, a strange feeling passes through me. It’s almost like deja vu, the feeling that this moment is significant, somehow. Clandestine. Maybe I’m just anticipating the interview going well? Whatever the case, there’s no more time to ponder. The door opens before me, and I step quickly into an old fashioned elevator.
The elevator doors part before me, and I step out into the high-ceilinged office space. A large communal desk stands at the center of the room, surrounded by a dozen hip twenty-somethings. The walls are covered in white board, so that people can jot down ideas whenever and wherever they occur. My jaw falls open a little as I see a fully stocked bar standing in one corner of the main room. The people running this place weren’t kidding when they described it as “off beat”.
I like it.
I’m supposed to be meeting with the founding partner and CEO of the agency, Owen Cooper. But glancing around the spacious room, I don’t see a reception desk anywhere. Silly me. As if a place this cool would ever have something as square as a front desk.
“Are you Abby?” asks one of the people at the communal desk, plucking out an earbud as the rest of the group types on.
“Yeah, that’s me,” I smile, hoping my nervousness doesn’t show.
“Cooper is waiting for you in his office,” she says, nodding toward a glass door off the main room. Calling the boss by his last name, huh? How unconventional. Another check in the plus column for this place.
I thank her and make my way toward the door. Before I can raise my hand to rap against the frosted glass pane, it swings open before me. Standing there is a man I recognize from the Bastian website as Owen Cooper himself. He’s super young for a CEO, in his late 30’s or so. He’s dressed in jeans, a sweater, and a friendly smile.
“Abby!” he says, as if we were old friends. I guess being able to check out interviewees’ social media profiles makes everyone fast friends these days. “Come on in. Coffee?”
“Sure,” I reply, “It’s nice to meet you Mr.—”
“Just ‘Cooper’ is fine,” he cuts me off, pulling a shot from a fancy espresso machine sitting on a table against the wall. “So, thanks for coming in. Even if this is a bit of a formality.”
“What’s that?” I ask, happily accepting the rich cup of espresso.
“Your portfolio is excellent,” he tells me, sitting down at his desk. “Top notch. I knew I wanted to hire you from the second I saw your work. Sorry...did I forget to mention that in my last email to you?”
“That you did,” I say, sinking into a chair opposite him in mild disbelief. “Are you saying...I already have the job?”
“You do if you want it!” he smiles, “You’ll have to forgive my absent-mindedness. My brain is always hurrying onto the next task, so I sometimes skip over what’s right in front of me. Anyhow, yes! The job is yours for the taking.”
“Well, I absolutely want to take it,” I grin, “Thanks Mr...Er, Cooper.”
“Yeah!” he says, clinking his coffee cup to mine. “And you’re in luck, too. One of our managing editors from the European office is going to be lending me a hand here in New York for a while. He’s much less of a scatterbrain than I am, so he’s going to be the one showing you the ropes. I can’t remember if I told him that...”
“That sounds great,” I reply, sipping the fine espresso as I try to play it cool. I can’t believe I stressed out all week for an interview that was actually a job offer! I guess with the fast-paced aspect of the tech world, hiring practices are a little quicker at places like this.
“So, what else can I tell you...” Mr. Cooper continues, propping his sneakered feet up on his desk. “Salary is 60K. Full benefits. Three weeks vacation...”
I stare at him, practically salivating. I try to never think that something is too good to be true, as a rule. But this whole situation is testing me.
“Well, what do you say?” He presses jovially, “Are you interested in the job, Abby?”
“I’m...very interested. Absolutely,” I grin, “This is my dream job, Mr...Cooper. I can’t tell you how I excited I am—”
“Yes, yes. Very good,” Cooper says, standing abruptly. “Well, like I said, our brilliant managing editor is back from Europe this afternoon, and he’s going to be helping you get settled here at Bastian. You’ll trail him to meetings, sit in on brainstorming sessions, all that good stuff. But for today, just go home and relax. Take the Friday to yourself. This is a fast-paced company, Abby. You’re going to need all your stores of youthful energy come Monday.”
“Sounds great to me,” I say, standing as Cooper opens the door for me.
We walk back out onto the main floor together, but I might as well be walking on a cloud. This whole week, I’ve been stressing out about an interview that was actually an offer! What a screwy industry this is.
I think I’m going to love it.
The other employees look up with interest as Cooper leads me to the elevators. It’ll be so nice to work with people my age at a company on the cutting edge of creative innovation. And I didn’t even have to get grilled to score my place here! This day could not get any better.
Though of course, that just means it could get much, much worse.
“See you next week!” Cooper says, as the elevator dings to a stop at our floor.
“Thanks again for giving me this job,” I tell him, giving his hand a quick shake. “I promise you, you won’t be sorry.”
Beaming, I turn to the elevator as the doors swish open. So blinded am I by my luminous good fortune that I stride into the elevator car without noticing the person trying to step out of it. I reel backward, having collided with the human equivalent of a solid brick wall. Jeez, I thought this was a tech company, not a holding room for the Iron Man competition. I think I actually bruised something on this guy’s sharply cut muscles.
“Sorry about that,” a voice says from about a foot over my head, “I hope I didn’t hurt you, or...”
The voice is oddly familiar, though I can’t place where I may have heard it before. A commercial, maybe? Or the radio? It trails off into distracted silence, and I look up for some more clues as to whose it might be. The face looking down at me is utterly gorgeous—sculpted, symmetrical, and engaged. A short crop of dark hair and a hint of stubble on the mans’s razor-like jawline perfects his look. There’s a pair of dark rimmed glasses perched on his straight nose, and for a moment the overhead light glares against the lenses, obscuring his eyes from me.
But then he shifts, ever so slightly, and I can see his blue eyes clear as day. I recognize them at once, from the very core of me. How could I not? I’ve only thought about them every day, at least once a day, for the past eight years.
Emerson Sawyer is standing right in front of me. And from the look in those all too familiar eyes, I know full well that he recognizes me, too.
“Ah! Here he is!” I hear Cooper say, as if from very far away. “Emerson, I thought you weren’t due in for another couple of hours?”
“I was able to catch an earlier flight,” Emerson replies, his eyes still locked on me.
Now that I’ve placed that voice, every syllable he utters twists my heartstrings. His voice is lower, now. Richer. He’s even taller than he was when we last met, at least by a couple of inches. His body was muscular even when we were kids, but now every ounce of boyish baby fat has melted from his frame, leaving nothing but a perfectly cut form in its wake. He’s wearing perfectly-fitted dark wash jeans, a white cotton button down, and those designer black-rimmed glasses. No wonder I didn’t recognize him at first—Emerson’s transformed from a grungy, angry teenage boy to a successful, intellectual tech genius...
A tech genius who works for the same company I just landed a job at, who’s supposed to show me the ropes of my new position, and who clearly wasn’t briefed on the fact that I, Abby Rowan, was going to be his new protégé.
“I, uh, really have to run,” I say, my voice faint. “I have a...I’ve got to...”
“No worries. We’ll see you soon!” Cooper says. “Emerson here will teach you everything you need to know next week.”
“Right,” I say, my eyes locking onto Emerson’s once more. “OK. Well. Bye.”
I skirt around Emerson’s tall, built form, all but dive into the elevator, and jab the “close door” button with as much ferocity as I can muster. The second those doors snap shut again, I fall back against the elevator wall, my chest heaving, trying not to burst into tears. I feel like I’m going to faint. Or be sick. How could I have possibly not known that Emerson works for Bastian these days? What are the chances that we’d end up face-to-face like this, after all these years?
And what the hell am I supposed to do now?
I burst back out of the front doors, gulping down deep breaths as best I can. All around me, New Yorkers brush past, completely unaware that I’m having the strangest, most disorienting day of my life. But, that’s New York City for you—the best and worst place ever to have a panic attack. Struggling to regain a modicum of composure, I straighten myself up and make to book it away from the Bastian offices.
I get about three steps, too, before I feel a strong hand catch mine.
“Abby,” I hear Emerson say, “Abby, wait—”
“What did you do, scurry down the drain pipe?” I breathe, spinning around to face him.
“I prefer the stairs to the drainpipe, but thanks for the tip,” he replies, looking at me with dazed wonder. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” I say quickly, stepping out of the busy sidewalk traffic. “I had no idea you work here, Emerson. If I’d known, I never would have applied.”
“What?” he says, taking a step toward me. “Why not?”
“I didn’t mean to show up here, unannounced, and...you know. Crash your party,” I babble, unable to keep my eyes on his face for long. In the last eight years, his gorgeousness has solidified into sheer perfection. I can only hope that time has treated me half as well. “I promise, I’ll shoot Cooper an email this weekend and tell him I can’t accept the job.”
“Abby, I don’t want you to do that,” Emerson says, his brow furrowing slightly. “If you’d just listen to me for a minute, I could tell you that I’m not mad about your being here.”
“You’re not?” I ask, surprised, “But...why not?”
“Because we’re not ten years old, and this isn’t a ‘no girls allowed’ clubhouse, for one,” Emerson laughs. “It’s...wonderful to see you, Abby. Seriously. I can’t quite believe that it’s happening, but...”
“Yeah,” I laugh nervously, “I certainly wasn’t expecting to run into you, well...ever.”
“How the hell have you been?” he asks, laying a hand on my shoulder. My skin sparks at his gentle, familiar touch. “You look amazing.”
“Says you,” I chortle inelegantly.
Nice one, Abby, I chide myself.
“Yeah, says me,” Emerson smiles.
We lapse into silence, staring at each other there on the sidewalk. My heart is still hammering against my ribcage, my knees shake uncontrollably. Seeing Emerson again is like a dream. A very sexy dream. But that said, I need to wake up, now. The sooner the better.
“I really should go,” I insist, edging away, “This is wild and everything, but I don’t think we should draw it out, you know? I’ll just leave you to your company, and find some other agencies to apply to, and—”
“I just told you I don’t want you to turn down the job,” Emerson says, with just the slightest note of hardness.
“Yeah, well. I do want to turn it down,” I shoot back, a bit annoyed at his tone.
“Why’s that?” he insists, crossing his arms.
“Gee. I wonder,” I reply, rolling my eyes. “Working side-by-side with my estranged ex-stepbrother slash...”
“Slash what?” Emerson asks, his eyes hard on my face.
“I just think it would be a terrible idea,” I say flatly, “But, hey, maybe I’ll see you at a conference sometime, or—”
“Or over drinks,” he cuts me off, the corner of his mouth twisting up into his signature, roguish grin.
“Drinks?” I reply, raising an eyebrow. “What drinks are those?”
“The drinks we’re going to have tomorrow night. I know a great martini bar around here. It’s not as good as champagne in a motel room...”
My heart flips over as he immediately brings up our fated night as lovers. Christ, he knows how to go right for the jugular, doesn’t he?
“Last time I checked, I hadn’t agreed to a drink,” I remind him.
“True. But you know what tomorrow is, don’t you?” he grins.
Of course. If Saturday is my birthday, then tomorrow is his.
“You want to spend your birthday...with me?” I ask.
“I do,” he replies.
“Don’t you have some leggy, blonde supermodel to entertain?” I shoot back.
“Several,” he says without missing a beat, “But I’d still rather hang out with you. Meet me at Clinton and Houston at eight. Wear something fancy.”
I know that there’s no way he’s going to let me off the hook, here. The best I can do is say yes now and blow him off tomorrow.
“Fine,” I say crisply, extending my hand for him to shake, “See you then.”
I swallow a gasp as he scoops up my hand, draws it to his lips, and plants a kiss there. Someone turned into a gentlemen over the past eight years. I wonder how the hell that happened?
“Looking forward to it,” he smiles, holding onto my hand for longer than is necessary. “And don’t you dare blow me off, Ab. It is my birthday, after all.”
I turn on my heel and hurry away, feeling all the blood in my body rush to my head. It’s a good thing I’m familiar with this city by now, because I can’t pay a lick of attention to anything all the way home. In the blink of an eye I’m staggering, dazedly, back into my apartment. I drop my purse onto the floor and flop onto the couch, staring straight ahead of me, unseeing. Riley pokes her head out of her bedroom as she hears me enter.
“Hey! How’d it go?” she asks.
“I got the job,” I tell her, my voice flat.
“That’s great, Abby!” she squeals, rushing out to join me on the couch. She stops short at my glazed expression. “Abby? Isn’t that great?”
“Sure,” I tell her, “The job is great. It’s perfect, actually. Amazing company, good salary, nice benefits. Oh! And Emerson Sawyer happens to work there, too. So there’s that.”
Riley stares at me blankly. I haven’t uttered Emerson’s name for years—well, not while sober, anyway.
“Are you shitting me?” Riley hisses. “You saw Emerson today? At your new company?”
“Oh yeah. He’s going to be showing me the ropes,” I tell her. “Or he would be, if I was going to take the job. Which I’m obviously not.”
“Excuse me?” Riley exclaims. “Why the hell would you not take it?”
“Did you miss the part about Emerson working there?” I shoot back. “As in my one-time brother, long-lost lover, walked out of my life forever and broke my heart into a million little pieces Emerson?”
“No, I caught that loud and clear,” Riley replies, slinging an arm over my shoulder. “And there’s no way you’re passing up a dream job because he happens to be working at the same company. If anything, his working there should be a perk!”
“What,” I say, narrowing my eyes.
“Now you can rekindle your romance at last!” Riley exclaims, “It’s kismet!”
“It’s a train wreck waiting to happen,” I correct her. “In case you’re forgetting, we didn’t exactly end on great footing, Emerson and I.”
“So what? It was your parents who fucked everything up back then,” Riley presses, “You could totally hit it off now that you’re adults.”
“God. Did you give him a pep talk too or something?” I ask, shaking my head, “He asked me out for a birthday drink about three seconds after we’d run into each other.”
“What?!” Riley shrieks, pulling me to my feet. “He asked you out?! For when?!”
“Tomorrow,” I tell her, wiggling out of her excited grasp. “But don’t get your hopes up, it’s not happening. No way. No how.”
All at once, Riley snaps from giddy girlfriend to drill sergeant mode. Stepping into my path, she plants her hands on her hips and levels a glare at me that could cut through diamond.
“Abigail Cecily Rowan,” she begins. “For the past eight years, I have watched you pine away for this person, miss him beyond all comprehension, and refuse to get serious with anyone else because no one could ever take his place in your heart. Now, all of a sudden, fate has deposited him back into your lap, and you’re seriously thinking of bailing? That, my dear, just will not do. I am not going to stand by while you flip off destiny and forever ruin your happily-ever-after chances because you’re afraid of getting hurt again. You will take this job. You will let Emerson back into your life. And you will start tomorrow with a drink on his birthday. Do I make myself clear?”
Looking into Riley’s furious face, I realize two things. First, I’ve been dying for someone to give me permission to see what happens from here with Emerson. I don’t know how to give it to myself, of course, so thank god she’s here. Second, even if I didn’t want to see him ever again, she would make me anyway. So, this is looking like a win-win.
“Will you at least help me pick out something to wear?” I ask softly.
“Please,” she scoffs, “As if I’d let you dress yourself for something this important.”
And just like that, the matter is settled. I let myself consider the possibility that maybe running into Emerson today wasn’t a cruel joke from the universe, but a gift. A super sexy, super loaded, super intelligent gift wrapped up in an incredible person that I’ve loved since I was a kid, that is.