Still smarting from Emerson’s dismissal, I leave for the school the next morning without even sticking around to wish him a happy birthday. I halfway expect the rest of the student body to burst out laughing as I hurry into school, convinced that Emerson will have spread the word about what a dramatic weirdo I am.
But as usual, my entrance into homeroom goes unnoticed by all my peers save Riley. My best friend waves me over, noticing at once that I’m in a terrible mood.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, as I sit down beside her.
“Oh, you know,” I sigh, “Just everything in the entire world.”
Without a word, she takes my hand and tows me toward the classroom door. Our teacher, a beleaguered, balding man in his forties, looks up from his game of computer solitaire as we march past.
“Excuse me,” he says testily. “Where do you ladies think you’re going?”
Without missing a beat, Riley spins around to face him, plants a hand on her hip, and says, “We both just got our periods simultaneously. They’re super heavy too. Like, horror-movie level. So we’re gonna go take care of our Woman Issues together. OK? Bye!”
The teacher’s face drains of color as we traipse out of the room and slam the door behind us. The rest of our schoolmates are in their classrooms already, so we’re all alone as we beat a quick path through the halls and hole up in one of the girls’ bathrooms. We squeeze ourselves into one of the larger stalls and settle down for a good long talk. Riley cracks a window so that she can enjoy a gossip-session cigarette, and I tell her about Emerson’s surreptitious change of plans for the weekend.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” she says, putting her smoke out on the windowsill.
“Tell me about it!” I exclaim, letting my head fall back against the tile wall.
“There’s got to be more to it,” she says resolutely. “Why would he all but profess his love for you one night—?”
“He professed his wanting to bone me,” I correct her, “Not his love.”
“Right,” Riley says, rolling her eyes, “Why would he profess his whatever, only to leave you high and dry? Doesn’t follow.”
“You’re the expert on man-brains,” I reply, “You tell me what I’m supposed to make of all this.”
“Just wait it out,” she tells me, resting her hands on my shoulders. “I’m sure there’s an explanation, here.”
Having unloaded some of my frustration, I feel like I can at least make it through the rest of the day without exploding. We’ll see how I feel once I’m cooped up in some beach house with a bunch of Emerson’s buddies. As I step out of the girl’s bathroom with Riley right behind me, I very nearly crash into a wall of person that appears out of nowhere.
“Christ,” I mutter, stepping out of the way just in time. “Watch where you’re—”
“There you are,” a very familiar voice says. “I was looking for you.”
I glance up only to find Emerson’s blue eyes looking back at me. I do my best to tamp down my automatic excitement at seeing him. Can’t let him get me all riled up, now.
“Oh?” I say, feigning indifference. “And why were you looking for me?”
“Because we’re getting out of here,” he replies, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Right now. Let’s go.”
“I thought you said we were heading out after school?” I reply, even more confused.
“I say a lot of things,” Emerson shrugs, “But right now, I’m saying that you and I are getting in my Chevy and blowing this pop stand. What, are you afraid to miss math class or something, Miss Rowan?”
“Don’t be an ass,” I mutter. “If you’re so hell-bent on leaving now, fine. It’s your freakin’ birthday, after all.”
“That’s the spirit,” he grins, turning on his heel. “Let’s go, Sis.”
He walks away toward the student parking lot, and I turn to stare at Riley, bewildered.
“What are you waiting for?” she whispers, giving me a little push, “Go with him!”
“All right, all right,” I mutter, and set off after Emerson.
I’ve never straight-up ditched school before, but I can’t let him see that I’m nervous about this little operation. Struggling to appear cool as a cucumber, I duck through the front doors on his heels and hurry over to his Chevy. Holding my breath as I slide into the passenger seat, it occurs to me as strange that there’s no one else hitching a ride with us. I thought we’d be transporting at least a couple of Emerson’s meat head friends to the beach with us.
Emerson steers the Chevy out of the school parking lot, and for a moment it seems that we’re totally in the clear. That is, until the security guard at the front gates looks up from his crossword puzzle with a scowl.
“You might want to duck down in your seat a little,” Emerson tells me.
I obey, without daring to ask why. The security guard lumbers out of his hutch, signaling for us to stop. Emerson eases up on the gas as we approach, rolling toward the gates. But just as we’re coming up on the school guard, my reckless companion floors it. With a rabid whirr of the engine, we fly past the baffled guard and swing out onto the main road out of town. I swallow down a terrified yelp as I watch our school shrink behind us in the rearview mirror.
“Desperate times, right?” Emerson laughs, slapping the steering wheel with his palms.
“I don’t understand why you’re so desperate to get to some stupid house party,” I grumble, crossing my arms. “Even if it is in honor of your birthday.”
Emerson raises an eyebrow at me, an amused grin spreading across his face. “Holy shit, Abby,” he crows, laughing at my surly expression. “You are, hands down, the most gullible person on the planet. Did you seriously think—?”
“What?” I ask, sitting up a little straighter, “Did I think what?”
“Did you seriously think I was going to blow off what we planned for some stupid birthday party? Damn. I must be a better liar than I thought,” he chuckles, pulling out a cigarette.
My heart inflates like a helium balloon as I catch his drift. “You mean,” I breathe, “We’re still on? For...?”
“Of course we’re still on,” he says, glancing my way. “You think I’d actually miss the chance to follow through on my promise to you? You must be out of your damn mind, lady.”
“But then why—? What—?” I stammer, smiling despite myself.
“I had to feed Bob and Deb that house party bullshit,” he explains, turning off onto the highway ramp. “They may be the two most oblivious, self-centered people on the continent, but even they would have been suspicious if their teenage son and daughter had announced they were going off on a romantic seaside retreat together.”
“You know something Sawyer,” I say, beaming at his brilliance, “You’re a lot smarter than you look.”
“Wish I could say the same for you,” he scoffs playfully. “I can’t believe you fell for that whole thing.”
“Guess my heart is just too pure and wholesome for my own good,” I kid, fluttering my eyelashes daintily.
“Or you’re just gullible as hell,” Emerson replies, cranking up the radio and laying on the speed as we soar along the highway.
In a matter of minutes, my heart has been entirely mended. Emerson had no intention of abandoning me after all, and certainly didn’t run off and spread my secrets around the school behind my back. But as happy as I am to be back on track with him, a little part of me is worried about the intensity of my reaction to the mere idea of losing him. His smallest action has the power to send me soaring to new heights of bliss or drag me down to devastating lows. I’ve never intentionally let someone hold that much sway over my heart and mind. Never cared so much for someone to the point of trusting them so fully.
I have every reason to think that I can trust Emerson not to hurt me. But clearly, I’m having trouble putting any weight on that faith in him. I can’t go into this half-heartedly. If I make the choice to trust him, be vulnerable and open with him, then I’ve got to charge full speed ahead. The quickest way to ruin this thing we’ve got is to hold back from each other. We both risked a lot even telling each other how we feel. We’ve come so close to breaking through each others’ iron-clad defenses. It’s time to lower the walls once and for all.
As we race along in Emerson’s Chevy, I reach for his hand. Without missing a beat, he gives my hand a squeeze, letting me know that I’m safe and sound with him. If I’m honest with myself, I’ve known that all along.
And that might be the scariest part of this whole thing.