And there it was. My brother still needed me. Yes, he had Shaw to take care of him. Yes, he had become enough of a badass, and enough of an adult to protect himself from most things, but he still needed me to have his back. He needed me to be the guy who looked at him and always saw the guy who lived his life on his own terms, made his own rules, and didn’t judge him for it. That was a redefinition of my relationship with my brother I had no trouble filling. I was working my way toward that with my parents as well. I was starting to figure out I could just be Rome, nothing more and nothing less.
“I missed your punk ass, too, and I am sincerely sorry it took me such a long time to get my head out of my ass.”
He nodded, finished his beer, and went home to his girl. It was an interesting evening, to say the least, and after the cryptic warning from Torch and the club, I stayed until closing with Asa and watched him leave with not one but two of the pretty coeds. I wanted to make sure everyone got out of the parking lot safe and sound and that no one was lurking around. The guy had game like I had never seen before and I probably would have felt a twinge of jealousy had I not been going to my house, where a very sexy pixie was no doubt passed out in my bed, where she waited for me to get home.
Nash’s muscle car was gone when I got to the Victorian, but the Cooper was parked in its spot. I was getting tired of playing ring-around-the-apartments with her. I wanted one place to call our own, but after Rule’s revelations about her and her ex tonight, I was starting to wonder if her inability to meet me in the middle on a place had more behind it. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and thought I would snag a shower and crawl into bed next to her, but when I pushed open the door to my room, I was surprised to find the light on the nightstand on and the bed empty. I frowned and set the beer down while kicking off my boots and pulling my shirt off over my head.
I was worried that maybe she wasn’t feeling so great. So far she had been lucky and morning sickness wasn’t something she really had to deal with unless she got superemotional. She was tired a lot and hadn’t asked me to go get her pickles and ice cream in the middle of the night or anything, so I just assumed it would be smooth sailing for the duration of her pregnancy. I tapped on the door with a knuckle and called her name.
“You all right, Half-Pint?”
The knob turned easily under my hand and I walked in the bathroom. She was naked, all tattooed and bejeweled skin, staring in the big mirror that hung over the vanity. Her blond hair was sticking up all over her head like she had been woken from sleep by something and she was biting down on her lower lip. She was perfect. Everything about her was just absolutely fucking perfect. I braced my arms over my head on the doorframe and watched her watch me. Her eyes did that slow roll over my chest, across my stomach, and stopped on the front of my pants the way she liked to do. I needed to remember to always come home and take my shirt off … it really did make it hard for her to think.
“Look.” She turned to face me, and I think she wanted me to look at something besides her perky breasts and the delicate junction between her legs, but I was a guy and she was naked, so she was out of luck.
“Look at what?” I wanted to snatch her up and take her to bed. I wanted to lick every single one of those jewels that decorated her rib cage and trace the line of the lilies all the way up her side with my teeth.
“Look at our baby.” She flattened both her hands on the very slight swell in her stomach. She was so tiny that the barest bulge did indeed have her looking more rounded out than she had a day or so ago. She was just too cute with those big eyes so full of wonder. “I passed out a few hours ago and rolled over on my stomach, which sucks when you aren’t there to act as a pillow, by the way, when this woke me up. I’ve never had a belly in my life and now I do and there is a supersmall person in there. It’s unbelievable.” She just sounded in awe, and I wouldn’t have traded this moment for all the assuredness or foresight in the entire world.
I pushed off the doorway and stalked toward her. I got so close that I was towering over her, staring down at her, and she just continued to watch me. I saw her suck in a breath and let it out slowly as I sank to my knees in front of her. I put my hands on her hips and pulled her to my face so I could put my mouth on the soft skin right above her belly button. I heard her gasp softly and twine her fingers loosely in my hair. I let my fingers dig into the sweet curve of her hips.
“I put that baby in there, Cora. Anytime you want to talk about it, you want to marvel at it, you let me know. Yeah?”
She let out a little laugh and dropped her cheek on the top of my head.
“Yeah, Rome.”
I gave her a squeeze to let her know I was serious and decided while I was on my knees in front of her I might as well take advantage of the situation, so I stuck the tip of my tongue into the dip of her navel and felt her shudder against me.
“I love you, Half-Pint. Love that little baby. You understand where I’m at with all of that?” She nodded a little but I was working my way south with my tongue and I don’t think she had the ability to form words anymore. I breathed out a little puff of air against her cleft that I could see was getting slick and ready for me. “I know you aren’t on the same page as me just yet, Cora, and for right now I’m happy enough we’re reading the same book. Eventually you have to turn the page, though, you got me?”
Her fingers got tighter in my hair and I knew there was no one else on this planet I would willingly get on my knees for, but this girl with all her mouthy ways and swirling eyes, I would do it for her whenever she asked and even when she didn’t.
“I got you, Rome.” And she did. She had me any damn way she wanted me, and I was more than happy to show her since she was already naked and wet for me.
CHAPTER 15
Cora
“Why don’t you just admit you’re changing the subject and that we aren’t going to find a house until our kid is walking?”
He sounded disgruntled and I couldn’t really blame him. We had looked at three houses this morning before I had to go to work, and none of them fit the bill. I was having a hard time explaining to him that I had an ideal idea of what a home should be, where I wanted to be with him and raise our kid. I spent so much time bouncing from relative to relative while Dad was deployed, I knew exactly what I wanted and I wasn’t going to settle, even if it made my guy all kinds of grumpy. It wasn’t just about finding a house, it was about finding a home and starting a family, and I had to fully let go of the fear that was still holding me back to do it.
“Just be patient, big guy. It’ll come along. Besides, that last place only had a one-car garage and we both know you don’t want to leave the Harley parked on the street.”
He grunted at me and scowled. I was glad he finally had the truck back because he didn’t want me on the back of the bike in my current condition and it was like pulling teeth to get him in the Cooper. At least having him drop me off at the shop on his way to the bar didn’t result in an argument.
“I leave it on the street now.”
“But you bitch about it all the time and it hasn’t even started snowing yet.”
He knew I was right, so he just grunted again and tapped his long fingers on the steering wheel. He had been getting impatient with me lately. Not outwardly, but I could tell every time he told me he loved me that it did something to him when I didn’t just say it back. I just couldn’t. I wanted to. I was sure I did in fact love him more than I had loved anyone else ever, but giving him that … I simply couldn’t do it. Seeing this man, this warrior, on his knees in front of me, ready to give me anything and everything I ever wanted, I knew I had to get over it. Kick the fear to the curb and just know Rome Archer would never undo me the way Jimmy did. I couldn’t say it to him, but I knew I could show him how I felt, which was why I had asked him if I could borrow his dog tags for a couple days.
I was changing the subject because I was tired of fighting about the house even if I thought he was sexy as hell when he was disgruntled.
“So can I have them or not?”
“I don’t understand what you want them for.”
I was surprised he didn’t still wear them since they had been a part of his uniform for so long. I figured since he kept the hair and the strenuous workout routine, he would have kept the tags as well. Plus I thought they would look hot around that thick neck. Maybe I would ask him to put them on for me sometime and nothing else.
“It’s a secret. I promise not to lose them and to treat them with all the respect and reverence they deserve. Stop being Captain No-Fun because we didn’t agree on a place and hand them over.” I tried to keep my voice light and teasing, but I couldn’t shake his black mood.
He cut me a look out of the corner of his eye and pulled the big truck to a stop in front of the shop. I could already see people milling around in the waiting room and Nash waved at us since he was out front smoking.
“They’re in a box in my underwear drawer. Grab them the next time you’re over at the apartment. Just put them back whenever you’re done with them.”
I giggled a little and leaned across the seats so that I could wrap my arm around his neck and pulled him down so I could kiss him. Even when he wasn’t overly happy with me, he never stopped me from loving all up on him. He was pretty much a gentle giant, not that I would ever dare tell him that to his face.
“Why do you even have an underwear drawer? You don’t ever wear underwear.”
He shrugged a broad shoulder and kissed me back.
“Right, so I have to have a place to keep it all in because I never use it.”
“You are so weird.” I pushed open the door and hopped down onto the curb. I was going to blow him a kiss or maybe flip him off just to be ornery, but since I forgot my purse and he was nice enough to get out and bring it around to me, I decided I would just kiss his face off some more instead. I heard Nash chuckle at the spectacle I was making, heard Rome groan against my mouth while he curled a hand around my ass, and heard a voice I never thought I was ever going to hear again say my name.
“Cora?”
I slid back to my feet from the tip of my toes and peeked around the solid wall that was my guy to see the last person on earth I ever wanted or expected to see again. I felt Rome’s arms tighten reflexively around me and Nash moved from his spot by the front window to come stand next to us. I turned in Rome’s rapidly stiffening grip to face my ultimate worst mistake. I felt that big body go absolutely rigid behind me, but thankfully Rome didn’t say anything. His irritation was like a lash in the air as Jimmy took a hesitant step toward us.
The years had been kind to Jimmy. He was less skinny and more filled out. He had way more ink curling over his arms and neck than I remembered and he wore it well. His sandy-brown hair was artfully tousled and topped by a cool, plaid skully-cap. He was the epitome of Brooklyn cool and I hated to see that he had genuine regret shining out of his dark brown eyes.
“Jimmy. What are you doing here?”
“Uh … you didn’t answer any of the e-mails I sent you and your dad refused to give me a number to reach you. I just …” He trailed off and I realized he was staring at Rome and not really looking at me. He sighed deeply and shook his head. “I wanted to see you. To get some kind of closure and tell you how very sorry I am for what I put you through. I know it’s too little too late, but I just had to do it now that I understand how wrong it was.”
If Rome was stiff before, he turned into a statue behind me now. I pulled out of his grip and walked toward my ex. The blood that was rushing to my head was making me deaf and the shining light of my past staring me in the face was making me blind. I think Nash said something to me, think Rome called my name, but all I could see was Jimmy and all I could feel was everything I had wanted to do to him, all the things I had wanted to make him realize five years ago. Seeing him thrust me back in time even if I had strong hands trying to hold me in place in the present.
Operating on ancient rage and embarrassment, I pulled back a hand and socked him in the gut as hard as I could. I owed it to him, but it didn’t do anything to make me feel any better. In fact all the old feelings of betrayal and hurt were starting to fade simply because they were irrelevant in the face of how ridiculous it was that he thought I would want to hear anything he had to say. I was still mad, but for other reasons. He let out an “oof” and doubled over. I contemplated smacking him across the face as well, but Nash got to me first and handed me off to my chuckling guy, who locked down my flailing arms and cut off the steam that I felt was pouring out of my ears. I should be overwhelmed with joy that I had escaped the life I would have had if I had stuck with a guy like Jimmy. But all that old duplicity and sting had greatly affected my ability to give everything over to the man I now considered my life, and I was all kinds of newly furious at Jimmy for that.
“Fuck you, Jimmy. I don’t need an apology from you. I don’t need anything from you. As far as I’m concerned, you got exactly what you deserved. You’re wasting your time here.”
Rome growled behind me, which was all kinds of alpha sexy, and ran a soothing hand over my arm. I was shaking, and it made me mad that Jimmy could affect me in any way still. Apologizing for shattering my young heart into a million pieces was just laughable, like any words could go back in time and undo the damage he had done, could fix the current predicament I found myself in with Rome.
“You actually deserve a shit ton more, but considering her condition, I’m not going to let her at you.” Rome sounded gruff and even less happy than he had been originally.
Jimmy’s gaze widened and then flicked over my now slightly extended belly. I wasn’t huge but I was obviously rounded out more than normal and clearly pregnant. I wanted to hit him again when he looked at Nash and asked:
“You’re knocked up?”
Nash choked on a laugh and hooked a thumb at Rome.
“You might wanna look at the guy holding on to her, genius. Not mine.”
Jimmy’s eyes got huge when he took in the protective stance Rome had taken behind me. He looked at me, at my belly, and then back up to the thunderous expression of the man standing behind me. It irritated me to no end that he automatically assumed Nash would be the dad just because of his outward appearance. Why hadn’t I ever realized how shallow and awful he was before I had fallen in love with him? Gross.
“Seriously, Cora? What the hell happened to you? This isn’t like you. You used to be nice and funny. The old you would have forgiven me in a heartbeat, and we could have gone and had a beer and a few laughs for old times’ sake. You loved me.”