“How’s it coming?” Carrick’s voice comes from behind me.
It jolts me, stopping my thoughts and my humming along to the song playing on the radio.
I give another turn, tightening up the final screw. “Yeah, all done.”
Turning, I see him holding two coffees in his hands. I give him a smile of appreciation.
I put the screwdriver back in the toolbox and wipe my dirty hands on a rag. After tossing it on the workbench, I take the coffee from him. “Thanks.”
He leans back against the workbench. “So…we’re nearly done.”
My lips turn down at the corners, so I take a sip of my coffee, covering it. “Yeah, nearly done. Just need the starter motor, and we’ll be finished.”
“It’ll be delivered tomorrow. I know you’re back at work then…so I can fit it, if you want?”
“Oh, yeah? Okay, sure.” I try to hide my disappointment with a smile.
Carrick’s watching me. Dropping his gaze, he takes a sip of his coffee. Holding the cup against his chest, he says, “Will you come by tomorrow after you’re finished with work? I was going to wait to start her up. I thought we could take her out together.”
That brightens me up. “Sure. I’ll try to get out early, and I’ll come straight here.”
“Cool.” He smiles at me and takes another sip of his coffee.
The air feels strained between us, and I’m not really sure why. Maybe I am causing it because I’m feeling sad at the thought of my time here with him coming to an end.
I’ve just taken another sip of coffee when David Guetta’s “Dangerous” starts to play out of the speakers.
This song was playing in the garage the first time I met Carrick.
I feel a sudden energy in the room. Like pure electricity.
I lift my eyes to Carrick and find he’s already staring at me. There’s something deep and intense in his eyes, and it’s making my stomach flip and my knees weaken.
“This song…it was playing the first time we met.” His voice is low with meaning.
And it’s like he just read my mind.
I can’t believe he remembers.
“You…remember?” My words come out in a breathy whisper.
“I remember everything.”
Drawing a breath, I lower my eyes.
I feel like I’m being blasted with every single feeling I have for him. The feelings I’ve had since the moment I turned my head and saw him standing there in the garage at Rybell. The feelings that have kept on growing ever since.
Growing and changing into something so big that I can no longer see past them.
All I can see now is him.
I lift my eyes, and I’m met with Carrick’s. The look there nearly brings me to my knees.
I start to tremble, right down to my bones.
Wordlessly, he puts his coffee down and slowly walks toward me, not moving his eyes from mine.
I’m paralyzed. And even if I weren’t, I wouldn’t move. I need him close to me right now more than I need air.
Taking the cup from my hand, he places it on the side. Then, lifting a hand, he brushes a stray hair from my face.
I suck in a breath. My body triggers to life under his touch.
“What are you doing?” My voice trembles.
“Taking what I want…what’s mine.”
He cups my face with his hand, running the tip of his thumb over my lower lip, sending a shiver hurtling through me.
“I can’t do this anymore, Andressa. I thought I could handle just being your friend, but I can’t. I’m tired of pretending, pretending that I don’t feel what I feel for you. I want you, and it’s not going away. And I know you feel the same. I can see it in your eyes…feel it in your body.” He runs his hand down the curve of my waist. “I’m sick of ignoring the inevitable.”
He presses a gentle kiss to the corner of my lips, and I gasp.
“You’re mine. You’ve been mine from the moment I saw you. And I’m definitely yours. So, I’m here, telling you that I want you today and every day after. I’m so beyond fucking crazy about you that I’m going insane from not being with you. So, whatever it is that’s stopping you from being with me, like we both know you want, then just fight it, babe, because I can’t be without you a moment longer.”
“I…” My mind is whirling, my mouth dry. My body and heart are screaming for him, but my logic is trying to fight this.
But his words are penetrating my already crumbling wall. The way I feel about him is never going to go away, no matter how hard I fight it.
Then, it just suddenly seems so easy.
I have to try this with him. If I don’t, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.
Staring into his eyes, I press my palm to his chest. I love the way his eyes close on the feel of me touching him. The beat of his heart so hard against my hand.
“I do want you,” I whisper.
He opens his eyes and I see something deep move within them. “You want to fuck me? Or you want to be with me? Because I can’t do one without the other. I can’t keep fucking you and then losing you, Andressa. I need you. All of you.”
“I need you, too. I don’t want to keep running anymore.” It’s only then that I realize that I’m crying.
With emotion, Carrick watches the tear as it rolls down my cheek. He sweeps it away with his thumb.
I can feel his body trembling beneath my hand.
And it’s in this moment that I understand just how deeply he feels for me, and I want him to know that I feel the same.
“I’m crazy about you,” I whisper. “I want to be with you…all of you…if you’ll have me?”
My words have some effect on him.
The next thing I know, he’s kissing me and telling me, “God, you’re all I fucking want. All I’ve ever wanted.”
I fall into his kiss, pressing my body to his, wrapping my arms around his neck. He holds me tight, devouring my mouth, like he never wants to let me go.
And I don’t ever want to let him go, but there are things I need to tell him…my fears, why I am the way I am. I need to tell him about my dad, so he knows fully what he’s getting into with me.
“Carrick, wait…” I pant over his lips. “Before we do this, there are some things I need to tell you—”
“No,” he growls against my mouth, halting my words. “No more talking. We can talk later, but right now, I just need to be inside you. That can’t wait.”
Like I’m going to argue with that.
“Okay,” I whisper. “Okay.”
Then, we’re kissing each other, hard and desperate, like two people starved.
I guess we have been starved of each other.
Carrick starts pulling at my clothes, unzipping the rest of my overalls with just barely there impatience. Shoving them down my legs, I toe my shoes off and kick the overalls off, leaving me in jean shorts and my tank top.