“That’s fine. We’re so glad we got to work with you,” Bronwyn says.
We walk back to our cars, chatting about their engagement story and the weather. By the time my gear is packed up and loaded, and my clients have driven off, I’m ready for a bath and then bed.
I climb into my car and make quick work of getting onto the road. As I hit the off-ramp, a noise from my cup holder captures my attention. I smile without even looking down.
Wade’s cup.
I noticed it as soon as I got home this morning after dropping him off, and I should’ve taken it inside and thrown it away. My hand was wrapped around the lid to do just that … but I didn’t pick it up.
It’s juvenile to leave the cup sit in my car for the simple reason that I like it there. Every time I look at it, a little burst of humor fires through me. Having him in my car, toying with his control-freak tendencies was so much fun. His cologne scenting my vehicle is a win. And then being allowed to talk about my family and not feeling judged was something I think my soul needed.
I’ve only been able to talk to Rusti about my parents and grandparents. Our familial relationships and the way we grew up are all so different, and I’m not sure she can understand my point of view. She takes my side blindly and, while I appreciate that and love it about her, sometimes I’d like to just talk and not get her input. Sometimes I’d prefer her to come back at me with a question challenging my opinions instead of simply raising her pitchfork.
My phone rings as I get into the flow of traffic. I answer it via Bluetooth.
“Hello?” I say.
“Hi, you. How was your day?” Rusti asks.
“I was just thinking about you.”
“That’s … curious. Why?”
I check my blind spot and then change lanes. “No reason. What’s up?”
“Well, I slept with Zack last night.”
My spirits sink, but I put on a happy face for her. “And that’s a good thing, right?”
“It was a very, very good thing.” She giggles. “I know you hate him—”
“I don’t hate him. I just … I’m not sure he’s the perfect guy for you. That’s all.”
“And I hear that and value your opinion. It’s taken under consideration.”
Snorting, I roll my eyes. “Sure.”
She laughs again. “But I’m also taking into consideration how much Zack misses me and needs me in his life.”
“Oh, I’m sure he does.”
“Dara!”
“I mean it,” I say as convincingly as I can. “I’m sure he misses … certain things about you. But I’m really hoping that you remember that he had the audacity to break up with you over the phone like the man he is not.”
She sighs. “And you say you don’t hate him.”
“I don’t like him enough to hate him, Russell.”
“I’m pretending like this whole conversation hasn’t happened yet, and I’m starting over. I fucked Zack last night!” She pauses. “Now’s the part where you get excited for me.”
“You are so eloquent.”
“Hey! Are you going to play along, or do I need to look for a new best friend?”
“Good luck replacing me,” I joke as I take an exit toward my house. “So, how was Zack?”
I roll my eyes again as she chirps on about how sweet Zack was, how he took her out to dinner and then stayed the night—something he didn’t love to do when they were together. I listen to her gush because that’s what she needs to do, peppering in an appropriate ooh and aah as necessary.
“Okay,” Rusti says just as I’m pulling into my driveway. “I’m done.”
“Finally.”
She laughs. “What did you do today?”
“Well …” A rush of warmth flows through my veins as I glance back down at the coffee cup. “I picked up Wade, and we drove out to the property by the lake.”
“You did not.”
I grin. “I most certainly did.”
“So,” she says, reading more into it than there is, “you’re seeing him a lot lately. What’s up with that?”
“We’re just working together.”
“Uh-huh.”
I struggle against a shiver shimmying through my body. “We have fun together. I’m not sure he’d agree,” I say, laughing, “but he’s funny in a not-funny way.”
“Okay. Keep going.”
With a lingering glance at his cup, I climb out of my car and into the early evening air.
“I don’t have a lot to keep going about,” I admit. “Our time together is mostly me poking at him and him trying to ignore my provocations. And some time talking about the house design and whatever. It’s fun.”
I can hear Rusti’s wheels turning. The fact that they are moving—that she’s thinking something is going on between Wade and me by what I said—springs my anxiety into action.
“There’s nothing there,” I tell her. “Not like you’re thinking right now.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yes. I am. Completely.”
“The last man you talked about … Well, it was so long ago that I’m not even sure who it was. The teacher, maybe? The dude who worked at the sawmill. Maybe him.”
Looking at the sky, I remember both those men who I dated briefly months ago. They were both nice men, just lackluster in almost every way that mattered to me. They weren’t motivated. Neither of them valued anything that mattered. Worst of all, neither of them was particularly creative.
“We don’t need to talk about this,” I say as I walk up the sidewalk leading to my porch.
“Maybe we do.”
“No, we can talk about you and Zack, but I have a working relationship with Wade Mason. That’s it. That’s all.”
She inhales slowly as if she’s considering that.
I consider that too.
As amused as I am when it comes to Wade and as alive as he makes me feel, it’s a little crush at most. I can’t deny he’s gorgeous, and there’s little point in trying to convince myself that I don’t look forward to seeing him. But I’m not stupid enough to think there could ever be anything between us or that I should ever even consider it should the opportunity arise.
Between working through this house—an event that everyone and everything says is one of the most stressful things in a person’s life, my budding relationship with my grandfather, healing my heart after my mom’s death, and growing my business—how would I have time to even consider a relationship?
And how, and why, could I risk my heart when I’m just feeling strong again?
“I’m way too smart to get involved with him.” I unlock my door and step inside my house. “Guys like that break my heart. Catnip, remember? Because I remember, and I won’t forget it.”
My words are true. They still sting.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Rusti says. “I hear you. I just wish you didn’t feel that way. I’d love to see you in love. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you like that before.”
“I just haven’t met The One … unlike you, maybe,” I say, twisting the conversation away from me. “Are you seeing Zack again?”
“Tonight. He’s bringing over dinner so we don’t have to go out.”
“Sounds fun.”
“It better be. I got someone to cover my shift tonight in hopes it will be a lot of fun.”
We chat about her job and how she’s ready to do something different before she cuts our talk short to grab a shower.