The little book sits snugly in my jacket, tucked in next to my heart. But before I can go to Maven, to show him Julian’s discovery, Cal finds me. He corners me in a sitting room quite like the one we danced in, though the moon and the music are long gone. Once I wanted everything he could give me and now the sight of him turns my stomach. He can see my revulsion in my face, as much as I try to hide it.
“You’re angry with me,” he says. It’s not a question.
“I’m not.”
“Don’t lie,” he growls, eyes suddenly on fire. I’ve been lying since the day we met. “Three days ago you kissed me, and now you can’t even look at me.”
“I’m betrothed to your brother,” I tell him, pulling away.
He dismisses the point with the wave of a hand. “That didn’t stop you before. What’s changed?”
I’ve seen who you really are, I want to scream. You’re not the gentle warrior, the perfect prince, or even the confused boy you pretend to be. As much as you try to fight it, you’re just like all of them.
“Is this about the terrorists?”
My teeth grit together painfully. “Rebels.”
“They murdered people, children, innocents.”
“You and I both know that wasn’t their fault,” I spit back, not bothering to care how cruel the words are. Cal flinches, stunned for a moment. He almost looks sick as he remembers the Sun Shooting—and the accidental explosion that followed. But it passes, slowly replaced by anger.
“But they caused it all the same,” he growls. “What I ordered the Sentinel to do, was for the dead, for justice.”
“And what did torture get you? Do you know their names, how many there are? Do you even know what they want? Have you even bothered to listen?”
He heaves a sigh, trying to salvage the conversation. “I know you have your own reasons for—for sympathizing, but their methods cannot be—”
“Their methods are your own fault. You make us work, you make us bleed, you make us die for your wars and factories and the little comforts you don’t even notice, all because we are different. How can you expect us to let that stand?”
Cal fidgets, a muscle in his cheek twitching. He has no answer to that.
“The only reason I’m not dead in a trench somewhere is because you pitied me. The only reason you’re even listening to me now is because, by some insane miracle, I happen to be another kind of different.”
Lazily, my sparks rise in my hands. I can’t imagine going back to life before my body hummed with power, but I can certainly remember it.
“You can stop this, Cal. You will be king, and you can stop this war, you can save thousands, millions, from generations of glorified slavery, if you say enough.”
Something breaks in Cal, quenching the fire he tries so hard to hide. He crosses to the window, hands clasped behind his back. With the rising sun on his face and shadow on his back, he seems torn between two worlds. In my heart, I know he is. The little part of me that still cares about him wants to close the distance between us, but I am not that foolish. I’m not a little lovesick girl.
“I thought that once,” he mutters. “But it would lead to rebellion on both sides, and I will not be the king who ruins this country. This is my legacy, my father’s legacy, and I have a duty to it.” A slow heat rumbles from him, steaming the glass window. “Would you trade a million deaths for what they want?”
A million deaths. My mind flashes back to Belicos Lerolan’s corpse, with his dead children at his side. And then other faces join the dead—Shade, Kilorn’s father, every Red soldier who died for their war.
“The Guard won’t stop,” I say softly, but I know he’s barely listening anymore. “And while they are certainly to blame, you are as well. There is blood on your hands, Prince.” And Maven’s. And mine.
I leave him standing there, hoping I’ve changed him, but knowing those odds are slim at best. He is his father’s son.
“Julian’s disappeared, hasn’t he?” he calls out to me, stopping me in my tracks.
I turn slowly, mulling over what I can possibly say. I decide to play dumb. “Disappeared?”
“The escape left holes in the memories of many Sentinels, as well as the video logs. My uncle does not use his abilities often, but I know the signs.”
“You think he helped them escape?”
“I do,” he says painfully, looking at his hands. “That’s why I gave him enough time to slip away.”
“You did what?” I can’t believe my ears. Cal, the soldier, the one who always follows orders, breaking the rules for his uncle.
“He’s my uncle, I did what I could for him. How heartless do you think I am?” He smirks sadly at me, not waiting for an answer. It makes me ache. “I delayed the arrest as long as I could, but everyone leaves tracks, and the queen will find him,” he sighs, putting a hand against the glass. “And he’ll be executed.”
“You’d do that to your uncle?” I don’t bother to hide my disgust, or the fear beneath. If he’ll kill Julian, even after letting him go, what will he do to me when I’m found out?
Cal’s shoulders tighten as he straightens, morphing back into the soldier. He will hear no more of Julian or the Scarlet Guard.
“Maven had an interesting proposition.”
That was unexpected. “Oh?”
He nods, oddly annoyed at the thought of his brother. “Mavey’s always been a quick thinker. He got that from his mother.”
“Is that supposed to scare me?” I know better than any that Maven is nothing like his mother, or any other damned Silver. “What are you trying to say, Cal?”
“You’re in the open now,” he blurts out. “After your speech, the entire country knows your name and face. And so more will wonder who and what you are.”
I can only scowl and shrug. “Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you made me read that disgusting speech.”
“I’m a soldier, not a politician. You know I had nothing to do with the Measures.”
“But you’ll follow them. You’ll follow them without question.”
He doesn’t argue that. For all his faults, Cal won’t lie to me. Not now. “All records of you have been removed. Officers, archivists, no one will ever find proof you were born Red,” he murmurs, eyes on the floor. “That is what Maven proposed.”
Despite my anger, I gasp aloud. The bloodbase. The records. “What does that mean?” I don’t have the strength to keep my voice from shaking.
“Your school record, birth certificate, blood prints, even your ID card have been destroyed.” I barely hear him over the sound of my hammering heartbeat.
Once, I would have hugged him outright. But I must remain still. I must not let Cal know he has saved me again. No, not Cal. This was Maven’s doing. This was the shadow controlling the flame.
“That sounds like the right thing to do,” I say aloud, trying to sound uninterested.
But my act can only last so long. After one stiff bow in Cal’s direction, I hurry from the room, hiding my wild grin.