“I don’t know what else to do!” I cry out, throwing my hands up in the air. “You don’t listen to me.”
“You’re the one who’s not listening, Willow. Ariel will be fine. She’s been through worse. She survived that and she’ll survive this, too.”
My eyes go wide. “I hardly even know her and I could barely watch it. How could you?”
“You think I’m cruel?”
“Yes.”
That’s a lie. The truth is no. Not in the essential ways, at least, the deep-down ways.
But he’s not the only one who’s frustrated.
“Maybe I am.” He shrugs. “But it takes a hard heart to survive in the underworld. Ariel understands that. It’s why she’s lasted this long in the monster’s den.”
“He could have killed her.”
“But he didn’t.”
“Okay, and what if I didn’t stop him? What if he had killed her?” I press. “Would you have been able to just stand by and watch that happen?”
He grabs me by both shoulders and pulls me forward. “Do you think this is my first day on the job?” he asks. “If I had stepped in and stopped him hurting Ariel, what do you think he would have assumed?”
“I…”
“And once the suspicion grew, what do you think he would have done?” he continues. “He would have murdered her. And not a quick-bullet-to-the-brain kind of murder. More like the torture-until-you-pray-for-death kind of murder.”
I cringe, but Leo doesn’t let me look away. He pins me in place.
“And then who would have protected Pasha, Willow?” he asks. “You didn’t think of that, did you? You just acted with your heart, not your head. I keep trying to tell you not to do that. It’s what makes me love—it’s what makes you innocent. But it’s going to get you killed. So yes, I did what I had to do. I thought for both of us. I got you out of there.”
Leo isn’t wrong, which wounds my pride more than I’m willing to admit.
“Okay, maybe you’re right,” I say softly. “About all of it. But I still think a man who’s willing to beat up a woman he claims to love is capable of anything.”
“Spartak doesn’t know anything about love. He isn’t capable of it.”
“But they’ve been together so long and—”
“He gets off on the high of controlling a woman like Ariel,” Leo explains. “He likes hurting her and having her come back to him. He likes watching her destroy his enemies, knowing that she’s doing it to win his approval. It’s a transactional relationship, Willow. It’s not the real thing. He may think it is. But he’s wrong.”
I take a deep breath. “Okay. Fine. I’m listening and I understand what you’re saying—”
“I can already feel the ‘but’ coming.”
“But,” I say, adding extra emphasis to the word, “that makes the case for him hurting Pasha even stronger. If he’s backed into a corner and he has nowhere left to go, he will hurt him. He’ll hurt our son, Leo. And if that happens… I won’t be able to live with myself.”
Leo reaches out and cups my cheek in his large hand. His thumb is rough but his touch is gentle as it brushes across my skin. “Do you trust me?”
The question is so earnest, it brings me up short.
Since the moment I met Leo, we’ve been on a seesaw. A back and forth, give and take relationship where it is hard to know which way is up.
I’ve loved him. I’ve hated him. I’ve done everything in between.
As for now? Well, I’m not sure what to say.
“Willow?” he says. “It’s a simple question. Do you trust me?”
My mind whirls, but I dig deep. And Leo is right. Underneath layers of questions and fears, the answer is simple. At the root of me, I know the truth. I know what I feel in my bones.
“Yes.” My shoulders collapse. I bite back a sob. “I trust you.”
He runs his thumb over the corner of my lips. “Then trust that I know what I’m doing.”
“I do, but… it goes both ways, Leo,” I remind him. “If I have to give you my trust, then you have to do the same for me.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“We tell him yes. I’ll tell him I ran from you,” I explain hurriedly, before he can intervene. “I’ll tell him I accept his deal. I’ll make sure our son is safe and when I get close enough to him… I’ll make my move.”
Leo’s arched eyebrow tells me plainly enough what he thinks of my wild plan.
“I’m not some shrinking wallflower, you know,” I bristle. “I may not be as skilled as Ariel or you, but I can hold my own in a fight. Especially because he won’t see it coming.”
“If it were that easy, don’t you think he’d be dead already?” Leo asks. “Ariel would have killed him a thousand times over if that were the case.”
“He won’t expect it from me.”
“You’re my wife. Anya’s daughter. Of course he’ll be expecting it from you,” he snaps. “Think, Willow. You’re going to get yourself killed right along with Pasha. I can’t lose you both.”
I can’t lose you both. His words still me. Now who’s the one who’s not thinking clearly? It’s hard to imagine Leo being afraid. I don’t think he’s capable of it. But this feels awfully close.
“I’ll be okay,” I whisper. “It’s a good plan. I know it.”
I look him in the eyes. They’re swimming with clouded, turbulent emotions. I’m sure mine look exactly the same.
But for one moment, it feels like we might break through. Like a ray of light is almost there, ready to burst through the storm clouds. A ray of trust. A ray of hope.
A ray of love.
Then it falters, and the storm rages on. “You don’t know anything,” he snaps.
I pull away from him and start towards the mountain path. He’s not going to listen to me, and I can’t listen to him. Especially when I know I’m right.
He strides up beside me. “You’re acting like a child, Willow.”
“Leave me alone.”
“So you can run off to Belov and get killed?” he asks. “Fat chance.”
“Like you care?” I shoot back. “You’re just interested in keeping Pasha alive to preserve your legacy. You’re not impotent like Belov. If he and I die, you have plenty of women willing to make you more babies.”
His hand clamps around my arm and pulls me to face him. I gasp, but bite it off as he towers over me.
His face is black with fury. I was angry and I said something I didn’t mean, but I can’t take it back. The words are lodged in my throat.
And he can see it. He can see I’m not backing down. After all, I learned the art of that from him.
“If that’s what you think of me,” he hisses, “then maybe you’re better off with Belov.”
He drops my arm just as suddenly as he grabbed it and leaves me alone on the path.
31
LEO
“Can I come in?”
I throw Gaiman a cursory glance and a grunt that he decides to interpret as permission. He slips in and closes the door behind me.
“Is there a reason it’s so dark in here?”
“The blinds are down.”
He shoots me an annoyed look. “Yeah, I got that bit. You done with that drink?”
I down the last sip and hold out my glass. “You can pour me another.”