“Oh give me a break.” Lisa rolled her eyes and messed with her hair as she stared at her reflection. Throwing the dark curls into a messy bun, she shot Emily a sideways glance, a smile lifting the corner of her mouth. “I did potty train you. Let’s not forget I’m ten years older. I’ve wiped your ass one too many times for either of our own good.”
With way too much information pelting through her head, Emily didn’t dare keep the conversation going. But it was all good because Mother Nature finally showed up. Holding both tests, Emily slipped them under the flow, making sure both were saturated. Once finished, she placed them on the toilet paper Lisa had neatly squared up on the vanity.
Emily washed and dried her hands, her head starting to become fuzzy as the sisters hovered above the tiny sticks that, in that moment, scared the shit out of Emily. Through the past few weeks, she’d dismissed her nausea as nerves, but all of a sudden, that no longer seemed plausible. The words denial, fear, and plain out stupidity came to mind. With sweat gathering just above her lip, she yanked up the empty pregnancy test box, flipping it over to read what a positive and negative would look like. Making note that one line represented a future void of diapers, and two lines initiated her straight into motherhood, Emily started nibbling nervously at her thumb nail. “How long do these take?”
The question had barely escaped Emily’s mouth when a single line on one of the tests started turning a light shade of pink. With a sigh of relief perched in the back of her throat, a tiny smile crept across Emily face. However, that tiny smile quickly fell when the line’s twin screamed for a little attention as it, too, started blushing. Emily flicked her eyes to the other test, already beaming two bright red lines.
Standing above two plastic sticks signifying her life was about to change in more ways than she could even begin to understand, Emily tried to breathe.
Breathe…
Numbers.
Dates.
Times.
Calculations of every sort pounded through her head. A mental calendar, wicked in all it was, flashed in Emily’s mind. Its pictures reminded her that the first time she’d made love to Gavin, the night of his mother’s benefit, was within days of her and Dillon breaking up. Within days of her and Dillon making love.
Breathe…
Days.
Hours.
Minutes.
Memories of every kind arrowed through her heart. Each second she and Gavin had spent together over the last few weeks, slowly mending what was once close to broken, felt as though it was about to be ripped from her. Gone. There was no denying the child she was carrying might not be his. The chances were slim to none. In the two glorious nights they shared, she’d slept with Gavin a handful of times. In the weeks leading up to and after that night, she’d been with Dillon many times. Arms open wide, forgiving every confused indecision she’d made, Gavin had taken her back, but he’d never signed up for this. A standin father to the child of a man he hated. A man he loathed with every fiber of his being. This could surely break them. What they were, and what they had yet to become, would be nothing but an almost that… never was. A mirage.
The possibility of losing Gavin forever tore through Emily’s chest as she hunched over, her arms wrapped around her stomach that would soon bloom with life. A beautiful life that shared her blood, but may not share the blood of the man she couldn’t live without.
Breathe…
“Emily.” Lisa’s soft voice barely broke through her thoughts… her nightmare. Emily felt her sister’s caring touch on her neck. “Emily, look at me.”
Covering her mouth, tears pooled in Emily’s eyes as she shook her head. “It might not be Gavin’s,” she cried, trying to keep her voice to a whisper. “Oh my God, Lisa, it might not be his.”
Lisa leaned into Emily, cradling her the way their mother would when she was hurt. “I know, sweetie. I know.” Dangling over the edge of near insanity, Emily shook, her cries muffled against Lisa’s chest. “Listen to me, okay? I want you to lie down. I’ll tell Gavin you were tired and went to take a nap. It’ll hold him off until after we’re done eating dinner. You’ll have some time to think about what you’re going to say to him. All right?”