The first week of high school was a blur. I was intimidated by the new classes and new teachers, but after the first day jitters were gone, things seemed to fall into place. I had two classes with Noah, three with Beth, and we all shared the same lunch period. High school life was going pretty well until, The Interloper invaded.
It was almost the end of lunch. Noah was sitting beside me studying notes for his next class. Across the table from us sat Beth, who was rambling on about every cute guy that walked by when she wasn’t stealing glances at Noah. I don’t think this girl ever shut up about anything, especially guys.
Every school has their version of her. Our version had just walked into the cafeteria. The Interloper was a walking cliché’. She was tall, blonde, blue eyed, very curvy, and to my surprise, headed straight to our table. Her eyes immediately zeroed in on Noah. A big Cheshire cat smile slowly crept across her overly glossy lips. I instinctively knew she was trouble and we would be mortal enemies.
She was well aware of what her assets were and displayed them shamelessly. Her shirt and jeans were tight and low. Her heels and boobs were high. As she walked, every part of her body bounced.
I read an article in Cosmo one time that said guys like girls with bouncy parts. The Interloper was extremely bouncy. No part of my body bounced. There were a few parts that jiggled. I’ve never read an article about guys liking jigglers. I glanced over at Noah and wondered if he liked bouncers or jigglers.
I continued to watch as her hair, boobs, and ass bounced their way across the cafeteria. The closer she got to our table, the tighter the knot in my stomach twisted. I felt like there was a vise clamped around my lower intestines. As she sauntered up, I felt an icy chill run up my spine.
“Yay, I found ya’ll!” She said.
“Hey, Brittani, I saved you a seat,” Beth said, pulling out the chair next to her for The Interloper to sit.
What the shizzle?! Had Beth lost her mind?
The Interloper, or TI for short, slid into the chair next to Beth, and positioned herself directly in front of Noah. She stared at him, trying to get his attention. When that didn’t work she cleared her throat loudly, hoping he would look up at her. Noah finally did look up from his notes, surprised that someone was sitting in front of him, staring.
She extended her hand, palm down, like she expected him to kiss it. “I’m Brittani Monroe.”
She introduced herself as if she were making an earth shattering announcement. Her southern drawl was so thick and sweet I felt my teeth rotting with each word.
A confused Noah took her hand by the fingers and shook it. “Um…hey. I’m Noah Stewart.”
He looked over at me with eyebrows raised, like he was checking to make sure he’d done what he was supposed to do. Pursing my lips, I returned his look, without uttering a word.
I started drumming the fingers of my right hand on the table while chewing my left thumbnail. This chick was unbelievable. She hadn’t acknowledged me at all, and hadn’t looked at or said another word to Beth since sitting down.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Noah. I’m so glad Beth asked me to join you for lunch.” Noah kept glancing back and forth between me and TI.
I stopped drumming, and chewing long enough to shoot Beth my DEFCON 1 evil eye. I could tell she got the message from the look of fear that crossed her face.
“Um…Brittani, this is my friend Amanda.” Beth’s voice was shaky.
TI never took her eyes off Noah. Her voice was flat when she finally acknowledged my existence. “Hey.”
She shifted her position forward and propped her boobs up on the table revealing the Grand Canyon of cleavage. “What ‘cha studying, Noah?”
She squirmed a little in her seat squishing her boobs together even more. Noah’s eyes landed right where she wanted them to. The Grand Canyon must have had hypnotic power because Noah couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from it.
Unable to tolerate the sightseeing trip any longer, I elbowed him in the ribs. “Ouch! What was that for?” He said, rubbing his side.
“You mentioned that you needed to get to class early.” I smiled innocently at him.
“Yeah, I guess I better go.” He closed his notebook and shoved it into his backpack.
TI tilted her head to the side, gave him her best pouty face, and whined, “I don’t want you to go yet. I’ll miss you too much.”
Unbelievable.
Noah stammered, “Yeah, well…um…maybe later.” He stood. “I’ll see you in Algebra, Tweet.” I gave him a slight smile. “See you later, Beth and um…”
“Brittani!” She squeaked, biting her lower lip.
Backing away from the table, Noah hesitated, and then said, “Um…yeah…Brittani.”
Both girls twisted in their chairs and watched as Noah walk away, staying in that position until he was out of sight.
TI sighed deeply as she turned back around. “He’s all kinds of yummy, isn’t he?”
Beth nodded in full agreement, “Yeah, all kinds.” I shot her another DEFCON 1. “What? Come on, Amanda. You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed how hot he is.”
“He’s my best friend. I don’t think of him that way.”
I lied. I do think of him that way. A lot lately. In fact, he has made a few appearances in my dreams. I got goose bumps every time he came within 10 feet of me or I heard the sound of his voice. A few days ago, I saw him mowing the grass in his backyard. He was shirtless, sweaty, and his shorts were hanging low. From the pounding in my chest and the lightheadedness, I thought I was having a heart attack.
TI picked up a napkin and started fanning herself. “That’s not something you think about. That’s something you feel, all over.”
“Yeah, all over,” Beth said, in a dreamy voice.
I sat there silently listening to these two rattle off all of Noah’s attributes. A burning sensation starting in my stomach traveled up to my chest. My entire body started to tighten up the more they talked about my Noah.
“He’s exceptionally hot. He’s far and above any of the guys around here. He could pass for a junior. I mean, look at most of the guys around here our age. They’re covered in pimples, scrawny, and uncoordinated. Arms and legs flying all over the place,” TI said, waving her arms in the air. “I can tell Noah’s body is rock hard. The muscles in his arms are A-MAZ-ING.”
I’ve had those muscles around me. They are amazing.
“He’s a baseball player,” Beth chimed in.
“That explains it.”
“His tan and that dark brown hair are a sexy as hell combination,” Beth giggled. “I want to run my fingers through it. It looks so soft.”
I’d felt that hair across my cheek when Noah hugged me. It was very soft and smelled like oranges.
“Oh god! Beth. Did you see his ass?”
“Um…Yeah. It’s perfect.”
“His ass is mouthwatering.” Resting her chin in her hand TI looked away daydreaming, no doubt about Noah’s ass. “I’m going to crawl all over his body.”
“Like a fungus?” I asked, popping the last of the cheese puffs I had for lunch into my mouth.
She sneered at me. “Ha-ha. I’ll be crawling all over Noah before the semester is up. I guarantee it. Unless you have dibs on him, Beth. I won’t go after a boy if a friend of mine has dibs on him.”
“I don’t have dibs on him.” Beth glanced over at me, annoyance written all over her face.
“Good.”
“What about me?” I asked.
“What about you?” TI narrowed her eyes at me. A smug smile plastered across her face.
“Maybe I have dibs on him.”
“You just said you didn’t think of him that way. It wouldn’t matter even if you did.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked. She and Beth exchanged a knowing glance.
“Noah’s pretty much out of your league, don’t you think?”
“Brittani, don’t,” Beth begged.
“She asked.” TI turned her attention back on me. “I don’t know you at all, but it’s pretty obvious there’s nothing much to you. You’re not ugly, but you’re not very attractive either. You really should try to fix yourself up.”
“Brittani, stop it.” I could tell Beth was getting mad.
“I’m doing her a favor. I mean, look at her- brown blah hair, pale skin, and her eyes are weird. They’re kind of freaking me out. Dull and boring. Maybe if she got some highlights and some sun that might help, but it’s only going to help her so much. It’s not a miracle worker.”
She was talking about me like I wasn’t there.
“On the hotness scale, Noah is a solid ten. He needs to hook up with at least an eight or nine, if not another ten. If I’m being honest, which I always am, you are barely a two, and that’s being generous.”
“Alright, that’s enough. Come one Amanda, we need to get to English.”
I watched as Beth and TI got up and grabbed their things. I just sat there, frozen. I knew I wasn’t anything special and not good enough for Noah. What shocked me was that a girl, who only met me ten minutes ago, knew it too. My eyes started to water.
I would not cry in the middle of the cafeteria.
I jumped up, quickly grabbed my things, and hurriedly walked out. I headed straight to the bathroom, getting there right before the tears started.