I can’t remember wanting something this badly. Not once. Everything about her sings to me. Her eyes, her smile, her laugh, her body. I want to lose myself in her. And I am. I’m not thinking of anything other than Eden right now. And the reprieve from my usual pain is almost overwhelming.
I feel her hands come tentatively to rest on my chest. My pecs flex in response to her cool touch. I run my fingers into her silky hair and hold her head still as I dive deeper into her mouth, wishing I was already inside her.
When her palms trail from my chest down to my stomach, my cock fills with blood so fast it’s almost painful. I groan into her mouth and she digs in with her fingernails.
I jerk my head up, feeling like I’m about to lose control. “Eden, you can’t do things like that.”
“Things like what?” she asks, her eyes wide and innocent, yet dark and sexy.
“Touch me like that. It’s…it’s been a long time.”
I feel the huff of her breath against my chin as she stretches up to brush her mouth against mine. “It has for me, too.”
She runs her hands around my waist and presses her lips to my throat. I feel the plush mounds of her breasts rubbing against me and I grit my teeth to keep from doing something stupid. I feel like a bomb, getting ready to explode and take out a damn city block.
“Eden, I’m serious.”
“I am, too. I don’t want you to hold back with me.”
“But I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t hurt me.”
“I-I don’t have any protection. I wasn’t planning to…”
“I haven’t been with anybody in a long time. I’m clean,” she tells me.
“Me, too. It’s been a while.”
“And I have an IUD.”
That one short sentence…holy God! I feel it like a punch to the gut. Just the thought of being inside her slick heat with nothing between us, just the idea of shooting come way up inside her, of spilling every last ounce of myself into her, is nearly my undoing.
“Eden, give me this one time and I’ll make it up to you. I promise. Next time, I’ll go slow. But tonight…”
I barely hear her breathy Okay before I let go. She said not to hold back, but if she hadn’t, after telling me that she has an IUD, I probably would’ve had to leave and come back later. It has to be all or nothing. Those are my only two speeds right now.
I wind my arms around her and crush her to me from her lips to her knees. I feel every softly rounded contour of her body against mine as I lay her down on the rug in front of the fire. I think to myself that I’ll take my time and enjoy every inch of her after this. But right now, I have to get inside her.
I reach for the button and zipper of her jeans and flick them open quickly. Our tongues tangle in the most delicious way and I can feel her heat all the way through the denim of my own pants. My cock is throbbing for her. My whole being is concentrated on her–the way she smells, the way she tastes, the way she feels underneath me.
I pull away just long enough to drag her jeans and panties down her legs. I lean back to look at her, the skin between her spread legs glistening, all pink and wet, in the firelight. My mouth waters reflexively and I bend to run my tongue into her crease.
I only meant to have a quick taste, just because wondering about it has been driving me nuts, but my throbbing dick gets put on hold the instant her flavor hits my tongue.
She’s as sweet here as she is inside her mouth. Sweet and soft and silky. For a few seconds, I forget everything except how she tastes. She’s like a mind-altering drug. An aphrodisiac. Intoxicating. Addictive. Suddenly driven to taste more, to taste all that she has to give, I find myself sliding my hands under her, gripping her plump ass and holding her to my mouth, like I’m drinking from a cup of sugar water.
I slip one thumb inside her, the wetness of her coating it and making my cock jump against my zipper. I pump it into her, anxious to feel more, taste more, take more. I push her legs wide and eat, like a starving man might eat.
I set her hips down and run two fingers up inside her, feeling the tight clench of her body. I growl against her as I reach for my own zipper, knowing that if I don’t get into her now, something embarrassing might happen.
With my cock out, I stretch out full length on Eden, taking her lips in a kiss that sets my blood on fire. I wedge my hips between her spread legs and cage her upper body with my forearms to take some of my weight off her. I hear her sharp breathing and I tremble with the effort it takes not to slam my body into hers.
The head of my dick finds her entrance with an unerring precision, like I’ve been here before. Or maybe that I’m meant to be here. Like I know her body already.
I slip in a couple of inches and meet resistance as her body stretches to accommodate me. “Oh God, Eden. You’re so tight. So tight…”
At this point, I don’t know how I’m holding out. I must be stronger than I thought. And it’s a good thing, or else I might not have felt her hands grabbing at my shoulders. Because they aren’t holding me to her. They’re pushing me away.
That’s when I realize that the little sounds she’s making aren’t sounds of pleasure anymore. They’re sounds of fear.
I jerk away from her like she burned me, memories of her reaction last night rushing back, all too clear.
I lift my head to look down at Eden. Her eyes are wide and afraid, full of tears. She’s staring at me like I’m a stranger and she’s stiff as a board beneath me.
“Eden, did I hurt you? God, I’m so sorry.”
Her breathing is erratic and her voice trembles when she answers. “Y-you didn’t. I-I’m sorry, Cole. I just… I can’t do this. Not yet. I…I don’t…” She starts to cry, soft sobs that rip through my heart. What did I do?
“I swear, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I…I…God, I’m such an asshole!”
When I lever myself completely off her, she scoots away, drawing her legs up to her chest protectively. “Can you go? Cole, please. We can talk tomorrow, but right now…just please. Please go.”
“Of course,” I tell her. What else would I say? I feel like shit and I don’t even know what I did. That’s arguably the worst part. “Eden, I–”
“It’s not you, it’s me, Cole.”
I straighten my clothes and roll to my feet, reaching to take my jacket form the chair. I can’t take my eyes off her. Something about the fear in her, the vulnerability that I feel blowing off her like cold air, slices through me. Through skin and muscle and bone. And goes right into my heart.
More than anything, I want to pull her into my arms and hold her, to tell her that whatever it is, it’ll be okay. But she doesn’t want that. I can see it in the white of her knuckles, in the stiffness of her back. In the tightness of her face. She’s freaked out and she just wants me out of here.
As I start past her, I pause. I want to bend down and kiss her so that this can end on a good note, but I don’t. I get the feeling nothing can salvage this night. I just don’t know why.
She doesn’t say another word to me as I go to leave, not even as I close the door behind me.
EIGHTEEN
Eden