Chapter Five
W hen Norman pulled into the crowded parking lot, Hannah saw her sister standing in the center of a parking space right next to the entrance, waving her arms frantically. Andrea’s green Volvo was parked next to the spot and it didn’t take an expert on string theory to surmise that she was standing there to save the parking place for them.
The first thing Hannah heard when she emerged from Norman’s car was a tinny version of Hark the Herald Angels Sing played at earsplitting volume. She glanced across the street at the houses nearby, and wondered whether any of the homeowners had filed nuisance complaints.
Hannah covered her ears and gave a little groan. And then she greeted her sister. “Hi, Andrea.”
“Hi, Hannah.” Andrea turned to Norman. “I’m really glad you came along. Three opinions are better than two.”
“And four opinions are even better,” Hannah told her. “Mike should be here any minute, and before he gets here I need to warn you about standing in the middle of parking spots to save them. That really wasn’t smart, Andrea. What if someone had pulled in too fast? They could have plowed right into you.”
“But nobody would do that! Everybody knows I’m the sheriff’s wife!”
“True, but what if they didn’t see you in time? It’s not exactly daylight out here.”
Andrea thought about that for a moment and Hannah could tell from her sister’s set expression that she wasn’t willing to give up the argument quite yet. “Norman saw me in plenty of time. He slowed down.”
“Norman’s a good driver. But what if someone else had been driving, someone who’d stopped at the Lake Eden Municipal Liquor Store to have a couple of hot toddies before coming here to buy a tree?”
“Well…” Andrea sighed. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have been standing there in the middle of the space.” She turned to Norman. “Don’t tell Bill, okay?”
Norman smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t. I know what can happen to a messenger who delivers bad news.”
“What’s that?” Andrea asked.
“Sometimes they’re killed. Sophocles’ messenger in Antigone starts right off by saying, Don’t kill the messenger.”
“That’s awful!” Andrea was clearly appalled. “You can’t just go around murdering people because you don’t like the news they give you. Did the killers get life sentences? Or did this happen in a state with capital punishment?”
Hannah was used to her sister’s hit or miss brush with literature and history and she hurried to explain. “This happened a long time ago in a different part of the world, and nobody really knows what happened. But the phrase stuck with us. Shakespeare used it in Henry IV, Part 2, and some people say that Oscar Wilde and Mark Twain used it, too.”
“Mark Twain’s real name was Samuel Clemens,” Andrea announced, clearly proud of herself for remembering. She turned to look as a car entered the parking lot and gave a smile. “Oh, good! Here comes Mike. But there’s no space left. I wonder where he’s going to park.”
“Anywhere he wants to,” Hannah replied, watching as Mike turned on the flashing red lights on top of his cruiser and pulled up horizontally behind Norman’s sedan and Andrea’s Volvo.
Once Mike had joined them, Andrea gave them the note Tracey had brought home from her teacher. The tree should be between four and five feet tall, it should have short needles, and the branches should have space between them so that it would be easier for the children to hang ornaments.
“Blue Spruce,” Mike said.
“Or Scotch Pine,” Norman offered. “Let’s go see what kind of trees the Crazy Elf has.”
“I’m just glad you all came along with me,” Andrea said, leading the way toward the entrance. “Bill always picks out our tree. He doesn’t go to a tree lot. His parents have plenty of pines on the back forty and he drives out there to cut one down every year.”
“Does Tracey go with him?” Norman asked her.
“For the last two years. Before that she was too little.” Andrea turned back to Hannah. “You used to go with Dad when he picked out the tree, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but we got ours from the Red Owl. Florence’s father had them trucked in, and he stood them up outside the store like spears against the brick wall.”
“They didn’t thaw them out?” Norman asked.
“No, they were frozen solid. A delivery came in one time when I was there with Dad. The trees were stacked in a flat bed truck with a tarp tied over the back. The thing I remember best is how they were trussed up with twine like mummies. I asked Dad how he could tell what they’d look like when they thawed out, and he said there was a trick to it.”
“What trick?” Andrea grabbed Hannah’s arm. “You’d better tell us. Maybe the Crazy Elf’s trees are frozen, too.”
“Dad’s trick didn’t make any sense to me at the time. He said the tree should resemble a carrot and the height should be two times the circumference of the base. And when I asked him what that meant, he said you had to wrap a string around the bottom, cut it off with a knife, and then see if the string would reach halfway up to the top of the tree. I watched him do it.”
“Wow!” Mike sounded impressed. “You must have had some beautiful trees.”
“We did, except for one year. Dad and I brought home the tree and he put it in the stand. He took off the twine and then it was time for me to go up to bed. He told me that the tree would thaw out before I got up the next morning and it would be beautiful.”
“Was it?” Andrea asked. “I don’t remember this at all.”
“You couldn’t remember it. You were just a baby. And yes, it thawed overnight. But it must have been old because every single needle fell off while we were sleeping and it was perfectly bare when I came down the stairs in the morning.”
“Dad must have been very disappointed.” Andrea looked sympathetic. “What did he do?”
“He got somebody to fill in for him at the hardware store, and he went out to Grandma and Grandpa Swensen’s farm to cut down another tree.”
Andrea looked worried. “I hope that doesn’t happen to Tracey’s tree!” She turned around to face the three of them. “Does anybody know how to tell if a tree is fresh or not?”
“I do,” Norman spoke up. “All you have to do is feel the needles. If they feel dry and break off in your hand, it’s an old tree.”
“There’s an easier way,” Mike said. “I flash my badge and demand to see the invoice for the last batch of trees. And then I demand to see a tree from that batch.”
Norman clapped Mike on the shoulder. “That’s better than my way. Let’s go in and see what they’ve got.”
As they walked into the park, Hannah noticed the rows of sleds lined up just inside the gate. They were painted bright green and each sled had room for a child. Behind the area where the child would be seated was a large red box that looked like the bed of a supermarket shopping cart. The box was obviously meant to store items to be purchased and it was large enough to hold quite a few.
“Clever,” Norman said, also noticing the sleds.
“And how,” Hannah replied. “I wonder what they do if a mother comes in with two kids.”
“That’s where I come in.”
All four of them turned to look as a blond girl in a green elf costume spoke to them. “I’m Mary and I’ll be your elf for tonight.”
“Do you really say that to all the customers?” Hannah asked her.
“No, just to you. I’m kidding, Miss Swensen. I’m Tricia Barthel’s younger sister, and I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this getup.”
“It’s better than the one I wore last Christmas at the Lake Eden Inn. At least your tights aren’t too tight.”
“Hi, Mary,” Andrea smiled at the girl. “I’m looking for a tree for my daughter’s classroom. It has to be between four and five feet tall with short needles and branches that make it easy for a child to hang ornaments.”
“We’ve got just the thing. Follow me to the smaller tree tent and I’ll show you a couple you’ll like.”
They all trooped after Mary to a tent near the edge of the lot. It wasn’t a prime location and Hannah guessed that the larger, more expensive trees were housed in the closer tents. On the way they passed the Crazy Elf Toy Shop, the Crazy Elf Ornament Center, and the Crazy Elf Tree Stand Store. And all the while We Wish You a Merry Christmas was blaring out over the speakers.
Hannah moved closer to Mary the elf. “Doesn’t the music drive you crazy?” she asked.
“It did at first, but now I’m so used to it, I don’t even hear it. I guess if it stopped I’d notice, but it won’t stop until eleven tonight.”
“Haven’t the neighbors complained about the noise?”
“No. I asked the elf manager how Mr. Jaeger got away with making so much noise, and she told me that he gave everyone in the houses next to the park a free tree and a fifty-dollar gift certificate for the shops.”
“Smart,” Hannah said. Most people could use extra money around the holidays and a free tree with fifty dollars worth of ornaments or toys was a nice Christmas bonus for anyone.
“Here we are,” Mary announced, leading the way into one of the large tents that were fashioned out of canvas with green and red stripes. “All of these trees have short needles.”
The air inside smelled heavenly, like walking through a stand of pines, and Hannah took a deep breath and smiled. She was more than a little relieved to see that the tent was warmed by space heaters and all of the trees were thawed. At least she wouldn’t have to put her father’s trick to the test.
“The Blue Spruces are here,” Mary pointed to a section that was roped off with blue tape. “I wouldn’t recommend those. The needles might drop off in a warm classroom.”
“Thanks for telling us,” Andrea said, and Hannah could tell she was grateful. “What are those trees?” she asked, pointing to the largest section.
“Those are Scotch Pines.” Mary led the way to the green-roped section. “A lot of teachers have been buying those. They’re the most popular Christmas tree and needle retention is really good. They tend to stay on even when the tree is dry.”
Hannah glanced at Andrea. She was almost positive she knew exactly what her sister was going to do. Andrea was a firm believer that an item’s worth was directly proportional to its price.
“Well, I don’t want to buy the cheapest,” Andrea said, confirming Hannah’s supposition. “How about those?” she asked, pointing to the smallest red-roped section. “They’re gorgeous.”
“Oh, those are the Noble Firs. They’re much more expensive, but they’re…” Mary moved a bit closer and lowered her voice even though there was no one else in the tent. “I probably shouldn’t say anything, but they’re the freshest trees we have and they won’t drop their needles in a hot classroom. Not only that, their needles are more pliable.” Mary plucked one off and rubbed it between her fingers. “When the needles get old, they’re really sharp. I guess that’s why they call them needles. These won’t get sharp until the kids leave school for Christmas vacation.”
“Then I’ll take one,” Andrea said, walking over to take a look. “But they’re all mixed up in the section together. Is there a way to tell how tall they are without measuring?”
“I’ll show you,” Mary said, gesturing to Andrea. “Just follow me and I’ll explain the color coding on the tags.”
As Andrea and Mary walked deeper into the forest of trees in the red section, Norman moved closer to Hannah. “They’re only on calling birds and already my head hurts.”
For a moment Hannah was thoroughly mystified and then she realized that the We Wish You a Merry Christmas had ended and The Twelve Days of Christmas had taken its place. “Eight verses to go,” she said. “I’ve probably got some aspirin in my purse. Do you want a couple?”
“No, thanks. I’ll be fine just as soon as we get out of here.”
“Hey, Hannah.” Mike walked up to join them. “What do you say we try out the Yule Log?”
Hannah took one look at the Yule Log ride and shook her head. The “log” part was hollow and it held seats with harness-type safety belts to prevent falling as it swayed back and forth. The seats were divided into sets of pairs facing each other. At the apex of one end the rider was looking straight down at his partner, and at the apex of the other, their positions were reversed. The momentum gained on the downswings must have been fierce because the people who were riding were screaming every time they descended. Perhaps, when she was younger, she would have regarded his invitation as a challenge and gone on the ride just to prove she could. Now that she was older, she was wiser. “Thanks, but no thanks,” she said.
“Then how about Santa’s Magic Sleigh?”
“The Ferris wheel?”
“Yes, but each car is decorated like a sleigh and there’s a plastic reindeer in front. You can see the whole park from the top of the wheel,” Mike gestured toward the designer Ferris wheel that was slowly revolving in the distance.
Hannah knew she could handle that ride, but there was another consideration. “Only if I can take the reins.”
“But they don’t really do anything. I mean, the reindeer doesn’t move or anything and…”
“I know. I was just kidding you. Let’s wait until Andrea picks out her tree and then we can all go.”
“You two go ahead,” Norman said. “I’ll help Andrea with the tree. It won’t be hard now that Mary’s steered us to the right type.”
“Are you sure?” Hannah asked, wondering if Norman was just being polite.
“I’m positive. And don’t worry if you have to wait in line. You’ve got plenty of time. It’s going to take a while for Andrea to choose, and then they have to net her tree and tie it on top of her car.”
“All right then.” Hannah turned to Mike. “Let’s stop off at the Crazy Elf Cookie Shop on the way. I want to see if they really are running out of cookies.”
Hannah and Mike walked down the path between the tents. It was labeled North Pole Avenue and at the end was a row of log cabins. Each one had a sign hanging over the door on a pole that jutted out from the cabin. The sign reminded Hannah of the pictures she’d seen of English pubs, but it was clear these log cabins didn’t sell roast beef sandwiches and stout.
“Larry spent big bucks on those buildings,” Mike said, gesturing toward the Crazy Elf Toy Shop.
“How do you know?”
“I priced them when I lived in The Cities. I wanted to put one in the backyard for the mower, and the snow blower, and things like that.”
“How much were they?”
“It was a thousand for the smallest one, and that was a couple of years back. These have got to be the largest. They’re huge. And unless Larry got a real deal, they’ve got to run over five thousand apiece.”
“Maybe he’s renting,” Hannah suggested.
“That would make sense since he’ll be closing down right after Christmas. Either that, or he plans to put them up for sale.”
“They’re too big to put in a backyard.” Hannah noticed that a steady stream of customers was filing into the log cabin on the end and she steered Mike that way. “Who would buy them?”
“I don’t know. Someone with a hobby farm might like one. They could use it for a woodworking shop, or fancy storage, or anything like that. They’re even big enough for farm machinery, or a couple of cars.”
“Maybe,” Hannah said, sounding doubtful. The cabins had doors that were much too small for car or farm machine storage. They’d have to be remodeled and that would cost.
Mike gave a chuckle. “Mayor Bascomb can take one and use it for a second ice fishing house. It’s even bigger than the one he has.”
“I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if that happened,” Hannah said, stopping at the cabin with the most foot traffic and the one sporting a Crazy Elf Cookie Shop sign.
“Let’s go in and I’ll buy you a cup of coffee,” Mike said. “I’d buy you a cookie too, but they’re out.”
Hannah turned to him in amazement. “How can you tell from out here?”
“I’ve been watching and the only things the customers carry out are hot drink cups. If they had cookies, some of them would be carrying bags.”
“I’m impressed!”
“You should be,” Mike grinned down at her. “I guess that’s why I’m the detective and you’re not.”
Hannah bit her tongue. There was no way she was going to ruin the evening and point out that she’d solved more than a dozen murder cases. If she did that, Mike would be sure to point out that she’d gotten herself into trouble a couple of times, and he’d been the one who had to bail her out. It was best to remain silent and not bring up the subject that was a sore point between them.
“After you,” Mike said, opening the cabin door and holding it for Hannah.
“Thanks.” Hannah stepped inside and blinked a couple of times. It was glitter and glitz, glitz and glitter. The inside of the cookie shop was decorated with thousands of miniature Christmas lights and they were all blinking on and off randomly. Wreaths hung behind the serving counter, a large stuffed bear with a plaid Christmas hat was positioned near the area where the line formed, and every time someone walked past, the bear wished them a merry Christmas. Glittering garlands of silver and blue foil were looped in every place possible, electric candles were perched on every windowsill, and two huge Christmas trees sat by the back wall, one in either corner.
“Look at those trees,” Mike said, as if Hannah could possibly have missed them. They were at least fifteen feet tall and they were decorated with enough ornaments and lights for a half-dozen trees. The lovely angels on top had two-foot wingspans, and their gossamer wings were shimmering in the air currents as if trying to work up the speed for a takeoff.
Hannah and Mike passed the bear, who wished both of them a merry Christmas, and took their place at the end of the line. The procession of people waiting for sustenance was structured by red velvet ropes attached to giant candy canes on stands. Hannah noticed that Larry had taken his cue from amusement parks and purchased stands that could be arranged and rearranged to accommodate any size crowd.
The line moved swiftly and soon Hannah and Mike were almost at the front. “See?” he pointed to the empty display case. “No cookies.”
“You’re right. I wonder how long they’ve been out.”
“Since six,” replied the girl who’d moved over to wait on them. “Your cookies practically fly out the door, Miss Swensen.”
“Krista?” Hannah asked. The girl in the elf costume looked a bit like Barbara Donnelly’s granddaughter.
“It’s me. Grandma dropped me off at work tonight and she said I don’t look like myself.”
“Your grandma’s right. If you hadn’t spoken to us I never would have recognized you.”
“Maybe that’s good. The customers aren’t too happy when I tell them we’re out of cookies. Can you talk Mr. Jaeger into ordering more?”
“I’ll try. Is he here tonight?”
“He’s here every night. If you keep on going past the toy shop and take a left at Rudolf Lane, you’ll see a woodsy-looking trailer off to the right. It’s all decorated with garlands of Christmas lights and there’s a blue flocked tree out in front. That’s Elf Headquarters. Just ring the bell and Mr. Jaeger will let you in. Now what can I get for you two?”
“I’ll take a large Holly Jolly,” Mike answered her and then he turned to Hannah. “How about you?”
“I don’t know. What’s a Holly Jolly?”
“It’s hot chocolate mixed with coffee that’s flavored with orange,” Krista explained. “It’s got whipped cream on top and it’s really good, Miss Swensen.”
“Then I’ll have one, too.”
In less than a minute Hannah and Mike were exiting the building armed with two carryout cups of Holly Jolly. Hannah took a sip of hers and was pleasantly surprised. “This is pretty good,” she said.
“You’re right. It’s perfect for a cold night like this. The only way you could make it better is to put in a shot of brandy.”
Hannah was surprised. Mike wasn’t a big drinker. He’d have the occasional beer, or a glass of wine with a fancy dinner, but she’d never seen him drink brandy.
“Or you could go with an orange liqueur like Grand Marnier. That would bring out the orange in the coffee. Or you could use orange flavored vodka. They’ve got practically every flavor now.”
He’d mentioned three kinds of liquor in as many seconds and Hannah thought she knew why. “You must have had a rough day,” she guessed.
“Yeah. That’s one of the reasons I dropped by, but I didn’t want to say anything in front of Norman. It’s just a hunch, that’s all.”
“What’s just a hunch?”
“Norman’s mother. I think she could be shoplifting.”
“What?!”
“I told you, it’s just a hunch. I’ve been thinking about it all day and it’s the only explanation that makes sense.”
Hannah planted her heels on the walkway and stopped. “Hold on a minute. What makes you think Carrie’s shoplifting? And start from the beginning.”
“Last night was the third time I followed her home from the mall. She was out there on Sunday night, and last week on Monday and Tuesday nights, too.”
“You’re following Carrie?” Hannah was amazed. Surely Carrie wasn’t shoplifting! But shoplifting could be a disease…at least that was what she’d learned in psychology class. Some people who shoplifted did it because they couldn’t afford some item they wanted. But other people who shoplifted really couldn’t help themselves. They were addicted to the thrill and excitement. There were multistep programs to help addictive shoplifters that were modeled after the programs for alcoholics.
“I’m not following Carrie on purpose,” Mike tried to explain. “It’s just that she leaves the mall when it closes and so do I. Mall Security is shorthanded and I’m taking a couple of shifts until they find somebody to hire full-time.”