CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
I spent the remaining days of my vacation spring cleaning the apartment. Lizzy and Lauren took turns sitting on the love seat, watching me go berserk. Berserk being their word, not mine. I was fully functioning and fine given my heartbroken status. No way had I crawled into bed like Mom and refused to come out. I was stronger than that and my apartment was very, very clean.
“Look at that bowl,” I said, gesturing toward the bathroom with my pink, rubber-gloved hand and toilet brush. “You could eat out of it.”
“Babe, all power to you, but I am not inspecting your toilet.” Lauren crossed her legs, swung her foot back and forth.
“No shit, it’s sparkling.”
“I believe you.”
The front door opened and Lizzy walked in. “She still at it?”
Yes, during particularly unlucky times, they’d both be there, commenting and getting in my face. So helpful. Friends and family were the worst. They were also the best, seeing me through this temporary insanity.
“Yes, she is. Please knock before you come in uninvited,” I said.
Mal would be pissed. He hated people just waltzing in. Not that he would ever be here again or cared, so whatever. Maybe I should scrub the kitchen one more time. Going back to work tomorrow would be good. It’d help keep me busy. Reece had dropped off a couple of new bottles of environmental all-surfaces cleanser and a scrubbing brush for me yesterday (I’d worn my old one out.). He got my drive to keep busy right now. Or, if he didn’t get it, he at least had the sense to stay out of my way and not mention any famous drummers.
“And you didn’t close the door properly, Lizzy.”
My sister looked at me over the top of her sunglasses. “That’s because you have another guest about to arrive. Hopefully you’ll be nicer to this one.”
“I’m nice to everyone.”
Lauren winced. “No. Not really. You’re kind of pretty fucking painful lately. But we love you and we get that you’re hurting, so here we are.”
My frown did feel permanently pressed into my face. Perhaps they had a point. It might be time to move on. If I’d only been with him a week, then mourning him for half a week was probably about right. Too bad my heart disagreed.
“Helllooooo!” cried Ev, appearing around the door frame. “Yeah, okay. Wow, Liz. She needs help.”
“Told you,” said Lauren, standing up to give Ev a hug.
“Um, Anne?” Ev approached me with extreme caution, slowly slipping out of her woolen jacket. “Take the gloves off and go put on clothes that don’t have holes in them. You might want to shower first, wash your hair, maybe? Wouldn’t that be nice?”
“I’ve been cleaning,” I explained, holding the brush up as evidence. “You don’t wear good clothes to clean in.”
Lizzy turned me in the direction of the bathroom. “About the time you’re waving a toilet brush around exclaiming about the beauty of your bowl, it’s probably time to stop and rethink your life.”
“Go back in there and clean you this time,” directed Lauren. “I’ll find you some clothes.”
“Wait.” I turned back to Ev. “Why are you here? Why aren’t you on tour?”
She grimaced. “The tour’s been cancelled. Put off until next year. It’s for the best. They’re saying Lori only has a couple of days left so the guys have all gone to Coeur d’Alene.”
Oh, god. Poor Mal. My ribs squeezed breathtakingly tight.
“Why aren’t you with them?” I asked.
“I’m flying there this afternoon.” She spoke slowly, carefully. “But I wanted to be here for your intervention. And to ask if maybe you wanted to come with me.”
I just stared at her blankly.
“I think he would really appreciate you being there, Anne. I know things got left in a bad place between you two. But I think he could really do with your support right now. Lori would probably like to say good-bye.”
“I turned down her son’s proposal of marriage, so I highly doubt that.”
Ev gave a one-shoulder shrug. “She was sad, but … I don’t think she was mad at you exactly.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t go.” I wandered into the bathroom, put away the toilet brush, and peeled off the rubber gloves. Ev, Lauren, and Lizzy huddled in the doorway, watching me. I washed my hands, soaping them up super well. “Look, guys, I appreciate the intervention, not that I believe I needed it. I was just keeping busy before I had to go back to work.”
“Sure you were,” said Lizzy. “That’s why you scoured the ceiling.”
“It was dusty.”
“Focus, ladies.” Lauren clicked her tongue. “Anne, you need to go with Ev. Talk to him.”
I dried my hands with a towel. The girl in the mirror was a bit of a mess, hair lank and skin greasy. They were right there, I had looked better.
“You two were good together,” said Ev. “He got carried away with the wedding idea, but I think he gets that now.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think there’s so many good ways to take someone refusing to marry you.” I huffed out a laugh. “Not sure there’s any coming back from that one. Thanks for the thought, Ev. But he doesn’t want me there.”
She shook her head. “You don’t know that–”
“Yes, I do.” I put my hands on my hips. It didn’t feel quite right so I swapped over to crossing them over my chest instead. “I texted him the other day, asked if there was anything I could do. If he wanted me there even just as a friend. He said no.”
And yes, Mal’s one-word, two-letter answer had pissed me off and hurt. The fact that I bought myself a new phone for my birthday was somewhat related. As was the mark I needed to paint over on my bedroom wall. Turns out I had a better throwing arm than I was aware of.
Ev, Lauren, and Lizzy just stared at me. Awesome. I could do without yet again having my heartbreak on display for one and all. And that was a shitty, stupid thought. “Seriously, thanks anyway, guys. For everything. I’m going to take your advice and have a shower.”
“That took balls, reaching out to him,” said Lizzy.
“I had to try.”
Lauren frowned at the floor. “We need booze. Food.”
“Yeah,” sighed Lizzy.
My smile started twitching at the edges. I couldn’t quite make it. “Sounds good.”
Ev nodded somberly. Then she paused. “Anne, be smarter than him. If he means something to you, if you get another chance … don’t give up so easily.”
I had nothing. I just stared at her, lost, not a clue how to react or what to do with myself. It was the same damn way I’d been feeling since the night Mal walked out on me.
“Go get cleaned up.” Lizzy hugged me from behind, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing tight. “I’ll organize some food and drinks.”
“Oh, I can do that after I-”
“Anne, please. Let me look after you for a change.”
I nodded slowly, on the verge of tears yet again. “Okay. Thanks.”
Lizzy set her chin on my shoulder, not letting go. “You’re my amazingly strong big sister and I love you. But you are allowed to need help now and then. You don’t have to fix everything on your own anymore, you know?”
“I know.” I didn’t know it exactly, but I was beginning to feel it. And it was warm, wonderful, and everything it should have been. Not being alone in this, having them all here was a beautiful thing. “Thank you.”