“Such a pity you weren’t home when we dropped by your place earlier, Anne,” said Lori. “But you have a lovely little apartment.”
“Thank you.”
“Malcolm just needs to stop breaking your furniture and causing floods.”
Mal groaned. “A man needs to be free to bounce on beds and bathe as he sees fit, Mother.”
“You’re twenty-seven-years old, honey.”
“And?”
“Isn’t it time to start acting like a grown-up?”
“I pay my bills, see to my responsibilities. Beyond that, does it really matter?” Mal sat up straighter, staring his mom down with a smile. You couldn’t help but get the feeling they’d had this conversation many times before.
“Funny,” said Neil, talking for the first time in forever. “Could’ve sworn I heard two voices in that bathroom.”
“Thin walls,” Mal and I both said at once. Yeah, my smile … I highly doubt it was even the tiniest bit believable. Excellent.
His dad grunted.
Lori tried to cover her smile by dabbing her lips with the napkin.
Shit. We were so busted.
“Eat more, hon.” Neil pushed Lori’s plate closer to her. The rest of us had wolfed the excellent food down, but Lori had barely touched hers.
“I’m not all that hungry.” She patted his hand.
The fingers rubbing my neck froze.
“But …” Neil leaned in, whispering in her ear.
After a moment Lori shut him down with a quick kiss. She put on a bright smile, a fake one. It was an expression I knew well. Hers wasn’t bad, but it still jarred. I guess I hadn’t expected it from her. What was going on here? Of course, there could be a hundred and one explanations. Couples fight.
A rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday” broke out on the opposite side of the room. A large group of people around Lizzy’s age were starting to get seriously loud. The host on the front desk watched them with wary eyes.
“Malcolm, you have to bring Anne home for the party so she can meet your sisters,” she said. “We’re having a big family get-together next week in Coeur d’Alene and you both have to be there. It’s between the Seattle and Chicago shows, so the boys all have time to come.”
“That’s where you’re from?” I asked Mal without thinking. A real girlfriend would know these things. But Mal and I hadn’t gotten around to discussing normal everyday stuff yet. Though the past wasn’t a topic I tended to encourage. Fortunately, Lori didn’t appear to be concerned.
“Yeah.” He nodded, eyes fixed on his dad.
“What’s it like?” I asked.
His gaze stayed on his parents and he wasn’t smiling. “Trees, lake, a couple of good bars. It’s nice enough.”
“It’s lovely, especially in fall,” said Lori enthusiastically. “You have to come, Anne.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” I moved restlessly in my seat. Something had changed. Both Mal and his father seemed subdued, preoccupied. Neither would meet my eyes. The atmosphere in the booth had cooled and I didn’t understand why.
“You’ll make sure she comes, won’t you, sweetie?” Lori reached over and squeezed Mal’s hand, ignoring whatever weirdness had come over the table. If anything her smile was larger than before, like she was making up for the lack. “We’ll have a wonderful time showing you around.”
“Sure,” Mal said, his voice hollow. Someone had flicked a switch and turned him off. He simply wasn’t there anymore. I recognized that too.
“We better get back to the hotel,” announced Neil. “Don’t want to get tired out.”
Lori smiled glumly. “I suppose so. Say, do you think it’s really haunted, Anne? I saw something about a ghost tour. Wouldn’t that be a blast?”
“It sure would.”
From his pocket, Mal pulled out his mobile and fired off a text. “They’re bringing the car around.”
His arm disappeared from around my shoulders and he slid out of the booth. Suddenly, a pair of girls, maybe eighteen years old, appeared out of thin air. Mal took a step back as if startled.
“Oh my god, we thought it was you,” gushed the first, giggling.
“We’re your biggest fans.”
“Ah, hey. Thanks.” Mal took the pen they held out and signed their napkins, notebooks, and whatever else. His hand was a blur. Clearly, he’d done this a million times or more. I climbed out after him as Neil helped Lori, his hand to her elbow.
Heads turned and soon more people from the rowdy table joined the two girls circling Mal. The crowd gathered incredibly fast. Flashes went off, blinding me, and I raised a hand to guard my eyes from the glare. There were two, three people between me and him now. Hands pushed me aside and I stumbled into the end of a table, hitting it hard with my hip. A glass smashed on the floor at my feet and suddenly Mal was there.
“You okay?” he asked, steadying me.
“Yes. It just caught me by surprise.” If anything, I was embarrassed.
“Let’s go.” He tucked me in against his side as people around us started to complain and press in once more. One guy tried to shove his phone number at Mal. Mal ignored him, moving us through the crowd mostly by force. When someone yelled right in my face, my heart went boom and I broke out in a cold sweat. These people were fucking insane, well off or not. What would have happened if he’d been recognized at a fast-food joint?
We rushed out of the restaurant, shouts coming from behind us. Neil ushered Lori into the limousine, and we followed fast behind. Hands hammered on the windows as the driver struggled to close the door without maiming anyone. A minute later the limo pulled out into traffic and I could breathe again. We were on our way.
No one said anything and the silence was killing me. Even Lori could only raise a thin smile, apparently running out of steam as Neil had predicted. In the rush to get in, Mal hadn’t wound up sitting beside me. A pity; I could have done with some hand holding.
“That was exciting,” I said.
“Mostly they’re content to just look. But now and then they get carried away,” said Lori. “Don’t let it scare you, Anne.”
No one spoke again.
She kissed me on the cheek before climbing out of the limo once we reached the hotel. The mood from dinner hadn’t shifted. I stared at Mal, willing him to look at me. He hadn’t had time to shave, and the hint of a beard framed his jaw, his mouth. The need to kiss him, to cover the distance between us, made my heart race.
“Are you alright?” I asked.
“Yeah. You?” he asked, sitting across from me on the seat stretching along the back. He was the picture of cool, calm, and disconnected. “Sorry about the scene at the restaurant.”
“I’m fine. Not a big deal.”
He scrubbed his face with his hands. “It happens.”
“The food was wonderful. Thanks for inviting me.”
“Mm.”
“Your parents were lovely. I really like your mom.”
“Great.”
“Your dad was nice too.”
He nodded, staring off at nothing.
“No, seriously, Mal. What’s wrong?” I blurted out. We needed to go home and get back in the bath. Things had been better there.
“Nothing.”
This conversation sucked. Somewhere along the line, things had turned to shit and I had no idea how to salvage them. I lacked the skills.
I so badly wanted to go sit beside him, but something held me back. For some reason, I wasn’t sure of my welcome. Tonight was meant to be the night, skin on skin, sweaty sex, the whole shebang. Now I wasn’t so sure. Not about whether I wanted him or not, because I did, the need I had for him made me a foolhardy mess. I just didn’t want to be there alone.
Outside, it started to rain.
“I’m going to go play the drums for a while,” he asked. “I’ll drop you back at the apartment first.”
“There’s a practice session tonight?”
His smile didn’t even get close to his eyes. “No. I just feel like hitting the drums.”
“You didn’t want to come home with me?” I asked, and he knew to what I was referring; he had to know.
Mal shrugged.
Oh, no. No way. He did not just shrug off us finally having sex. This was not a situation where ambivalence could be considered cool in any way, shape, or form. The limo pulled into the nighttime traffic, awaiting notification of our destination, no doubt.
Mal pulled out his cell and started flipping through the screens. I crossed my arms over my chest. Fine, if that was the way he wanted to play it. Outside, downtown Portland passed us by in all its beauty. The trees in one of the little parks were lit up. Everything glistened in the wet weather. Tiny streams ran down the car windows, obscuring the view.
Fuck it; if he really wanted to go and drum he could just go. Obviously, he wasn’t in the mood for company. I opened my mouth to agree to the plan but nothing came out. This wasn’t working. Truth was, I could be a stubborn bitch and horny didn’t really sit well with me. Might be best if I had some space.
“Can you ask him to pull over?” I pushed a strand of carrot-colored hair out of my face. “There’s no need for you to go out of your way. I’ll find my own way home. Catch up with you later.”
His eyes narrowed. “I’m not dropping you on a street corner in the rain, Anne. I’ll take you home.”
“Alright. Thanks.”
He opened his mouth and then shut it again.
“What?”
He said nothing.
Ugh, avoidance. I knew it so well. I couldn’t keep demanding that he share with me when I had no intention of spilling my whole sorry history to him. No one needed to hear that.
Still, we were better than this. Or we should be.
“Fuck this,” I muttered.
“What did you say?”
“Fuck. This.”