“Oh thank God,” Agatha says as she exhales. The first thing I did when I met up with her and Linds at our lockers after school was spill the beans. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you’d actually gotten back together with Lucas.”
“You would’ve been forced to be nice to him for once?” Lindsay offers. I notice she hasn’t commented directly about my rejection. “At least you’re not the only one who turned someone down today.”
“What?” I ask, slamming my locker shut harder than I mean to. “Who asked you?”
“Not me,” she says, darting her eyes toward Agatha.
“Ags?” I ask, confusion surely written all over my face.
Agatha shrugs but doesn’t look at me. “Georgie Yuen asked me at lunch. It’s no big deal.”
“No big deal?” I ask, incredulous. I had a major crush on Georgie in middle school but got over it when he couldn’t stop making jokes during the puberty presentation in health class. He grew up rather handsome though. “What did he say? What did you say?”
She shuts her locker, finally looking at me. “He asked me on our way to the table. I said no, because I hardly talk to the guy outside of calculus. And because his idea of a fashion statement is orange boat shoes.” She shudders, but it feels forced. Like she’s hiding something. “It’s nothing, O, seriously. Honestly, it’s so nothing that I was going to save y’all the time it would take to repeat the meaningless story and keep the list of people who know to just Lindsay.”
“There is nothing just about me, thank you very much,” Lindsay says, breaking the awkward tension as the boys walk over with Talia.
“You realize that statement has a double meaning, right?” Sammie teases, clearly having overheard the last bit of our conversation but hopefully no more than that. Agatha seems dead set on keeping this Georgie thing under lock.
Sammie flicks a strand of Lindsay’s hair out of her face. She sticks her tongue out at him, but doesn’t engage in their usual bickering, so he turns to me. “So what did dear old Snooze-cus want with Hamlet’s favorite girl?”
“He asked me to go to prom with him. I said no,” I say plainly, head down to zip up my backpack while Sammie starts a slow clap.
“Someone pinch me,” he laughs, turning to Wesley with a teasing grin. Zaq reaches over and pinches him instead. Sammie hisses in pain.
“Why’d you say no?” Wesley asks. Lindsay shoots him a look.
I glance at Talia quickly, but look away before I can read her expression. We didn’t talk about this at all during government. “It didn’t feel right.”
“But he’s so cute!” Lindsay says, weirdly cheery. “And you liked him so much last year! Remember how much you cried over your breakup last summer?”
“Don’t remind me,” Sammie says.
“Do you want her to cry over him more?” Wesley asks with a slight edge to his voice, eliciting an awkward silence from the entire group. He and Lindsay stare at each other, leaving the rest of us watching their unspoken argument.
“I just don’t want to see her miserable when we’re all dancing and having fun with our dates,” Lindsay says, leaning slightly into Sammie like a threat.
“Uh, Earth to Linds, technically no one here has a date yet,” Agatha says. “At least, as far as I’ve heard.” She does a slow once-over of the group.
“You’ve heard correct,” Wesley mumbles, but we all hear him.
Lindsay stiffens. “Sammie, can you give me a ride home?”
“Sure, but I have to give O a ride home too,” Sammie says, to my pleasant surprise.
“I can give her a ride,” Wesley offers. If it weren’t for the soft, unsure expression on his face when he says it, I would assume he was trying to make Lindsay jealous right back.
“I’ll take her,” Talia says finally. “It’s on my way.”
“Well, now that we’ve divvied up our Ophelia responsibilities, can we go?” Lindsay asks, leaving for the parking lot without waiting for Sammie’s reply. He scuttles after her, shooting an apologetic glance over his shoulder before disappearing out of the hall.
“That was fun,” Ags deadpans, but no one replies. “Zaq, I’ve been meaning to ask, where did you get that jacket? I saw you wearing it last week but completely forgot to mention it. It’s amazing.” His jacket is ridiculously cool, all purple denim decked out in patches and golden spikes.
“Talia helped me pick it out at a vintage clothes show back in the winter. We should check it out sometime—you’d love it,” he says as they start walking away, too focused on their discussion of thrifting unicorns to notice us still lagging behind.
“Are you good?” Talia asks Wesley. He nods quickly.
Talia and I follow our friends, leaving a safe distance between us and them. I try to ask about her graphic tee with anime characters on it, about lunch, about whether she finished her English paper after dropping me off last night; all things we didn’t say during our silence in gov, but she can’t stop watching Agatha and Zaq, and Wesley moping alongside them.
“Are you good?” I ask her as we get in her car, echoing her question to Wesley. She finally shakes out of her daze.
“Yeah, sorry. A lot just happened back there in a very short amount of time.” She turns the car on and starts pulling out of the lot.
“The perks of having a bigger group of friends,” I joke, though there’s a seed of truth to it.
“Is Lindsay always like that to you guys?” she asks me quickly, like the words have been begging her to let them out.
“Like what?”
“She used Sammie and insulted you just to get back at Wes for agreeing that going to prom with Lucas would’ve been a bad idea,” she says, eyes forward.
“That’s just Linds’s way of trying to tell me she wants me to be happy.”
“And would you have been happy with Lucas? I thought you wanted that classic prom experience. Cute boy, all your friends, romantic evening under the stars. Or, I guess whatever aquatic decorations we’re going to get.”
I laugh. “Lucas would’ve just complicated everything. Plus, I couldn’t abandon our nondate date pact, right?” I nudge her arm lightly, feeling bolder about bringing up my offer now that we’re alone again.
She doesn’t return my smile though, not immediately anyway. She turns on the radio, letting a pop song about unrequited love blast over the speakers for the remainder of the ride.
I try ignoring the gut feeling I’ve done something wrong by shutting down Lucas. I know Sammie, Agatha, and even Wesley are relieved. I expected Lindsay to be skeptical about my rejection, but Talia’s concern is a surprise.
I know Lucas is just who my parents would expect to see me with, who I would’ve expected as well, once upon a time. But I have to forget about those expectations. I have to think about what I want now.
Whatever that is.
FIFTEEN