We sat like that for long, silent minutes. His body trembling with emotion as he quietly cried against me. I let him, felt the tears and the sadness well up inside of me too, and I cried with him. Silent tears that purged me, connected me to Drew as I felt his raw, all encompassing grief and pain.
This isn’t all that plagues him, I know. I can sense there’s more, much more and he’s holding back for fear I might freak out. Or worse, think less of him.
It has to do with Adele. And I think I know what it is.
I’m just not ready to face it yet.
* Chapter Twelve *
Day 6 (Black Friday), 11:00 p.m.
It’s the people who know you the best that can hurt you the most. – Drew Callahan
Drew
I’m desperate to lose myself in her so I can forget.
After the cemetery, we grabbed some fast food for lunch, then headed back home. There wasn’t much talking between us, and I couldn’t have held a conversation if I tried. I’m exhausted, both emotionally and physically, and she knows it. Fable doesn’t push, doesn’t ask for any explanations unless she deems it necessary.
Like her asking what happened the day Vanessa drowned. Hard to believe, but it felt good getting everything off of my chest. I’ve never talked about my sister’s death with anyone. Not my parents, no one. I’ve held that inside me for two years and once I started talking, it was like a dam broke.
I cried. I mourned. I told my story and was so damn thankful when she didn’t flinch, didn’t condemn, didn’t judge. She just held me and let me cry, like I’m some sort of big baby.
Damn it. I refuse to judge myself, get down on myself for having fucking emotions. I lost my baby sister on my watch. I have every right to cry and rage if I want.
We slept the rest of the afternoon away. Together. Curled up in the middle of my bed, our arms slung around each other, a blanket drawn up over us. The afternoon through most of the evening we remained like this, and I knew we both needed it. Neither of us has slept much this week while in Carmel.
We leave tomorrow, the day my family is acknowledging as the two-year anniversary of my sister’s death. I’m glad to get out of here, but unsure what life’s going to bring Fable and me when we get back home.
I’m afraid what I might do. What she might do. What we both might do together to screw everything up.
My cell pings and I know without looking who it is. My dad or Adele, the very last two people I want to talk to. I scoot over and sit up, reaching for my phone. The lamp on the dresser across the room is still on, casting out its dim glow. Glancing at my cell, I see that yep, it’s my dad who sent the text and just as I’m about to read it, the phone starts to ring. Again, it’s my dad.
“Sorry I haven’t returned your calls,” I immediately say, feeling bad. He’s having a tough time of it too, and I shouldn’t shut him out, no matter how easy he makes it.
“Don’t you dare hang up on me.” Fuck, it’s Adele.
“What do you want?” I keep my voice low, trying my best not to disturb Fable but she rustles under the blanket, turning away so her back is to me.
I have no idea if she’s awake or not, but I have no plans in saying anything to Adele that Fable might question later. It’s bad enough I confessed what happened with Vanessa today. No way can I dump any more on her.
“You’re coming with us tomorrow, right? To Vanessa’s grave?”
“I went already today.”
Dead silence answers me and I say nothing in return. I’m not going to be the one who says something first. I’m tired of being at this woman’s bidding. It’s gone on far too long.
“Did you go with her?”
“I did.”
A hiss escapes her. “How dare you bring her to my little girl’s grave.”
“She’s my sister, damn it. I can bring my girlfriend to her grave.”
“She’s not your…God.” Adele seems to choke on her words. “You’re coming with us tomorrow. I need you there.”
“We leave tomorrow. I can’t. That’s why I went today.” Not exactly true, but the explanation works.
“You’ll disappoint your father.” She lowers her voice, until it sounds like she’s almost crooning to me. “You don’t want to disappoint him, do you? You’re always such a good boy, Andrew. You always do what I say. What I ask from you.”
My skin is literally crawling at how she’s talking to me and I close my eyes, take a deep breath and pray I don’t fall apart. Yet again. I’ve been on a nonstop emotional bender since I came back here. I knew it would be bad. I didn’t expect all this, though. “I’m not going with you, Adele. It’s time to cut the ties for good.” I hang up on her before she can say anything else.
I look at Fable to find that she’s rolled back over so she’s facing me again, those intense green eyes watching my every move. My stomach bottoms out and I wonder how much she heard.
“She giving you a hard time?” she asks softly.
I nod. Don’t say a word.
Pushing the blanket off her body, she gets up on her knees and comes to me, resting her hands on my shoulders, her face in mine. Her lids lower and she stares at my mouth, I can see the rapid rise and fall of her chest, feel the comforting warmth of her touch. This girl, she just…