But he does wrap his arm around my shoulders and haul me in close to him. I try to resist at first, stiffening my body so he can’t really move me. But it’s stupid to fight this, especially with the promise that he’ll warm me up.
So I go. Let him guide me into his arms and he wraps them around me and I’m resting my hands on his hard, warm chest. His hands settle at the small of my back and I’m pressed against the railing, pressed against him. His body is hard and unyielding. He’s trapped me and I have no interest in escaping.
I’m going against everything I thought and worried over only moments ago, all because he’s touching me.
When it comes to Drew, I’m weak. So weak, it’s almost embarrassing. But he seems just as weak over me, and I find that reassuring. At least we’re in this screwed up mess together.
“Did something happen in there?” I ask, curiosity killing me. I had to know.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
I risk glancing up at him and I see how tight his jaw is. “Well, if you ever do want to talk, I’m here.”
He glances down at me. There’s such despair in his eyes, my chest aches for him. This perfect, beautiful boy is not so perfect after all. “You wouldn’t understand.”
I laugh, though I’m not mocking him and I hope he gets that. “I’d understand more than you think.”
“If I told you the truth, you’d hate me.” His voice is harsh, his expression pained. “I hate me for what I’ve done.”
My stomach sinks into my toes. He sounds so lost and I realize he’s right. Maybe I don’t want to know. What he’s saying—well, not saying—fills me with uneasiness. I’m scared.
What did he do that he hates himself so much?
* Chapter Eight *
Day 3, 7:02 p.m.
I always want the one I can’t have. – Fable Maguire
Fable
He’s ignored me all day, which is fine. Really. I don’t mind being left alone at the guesthouse because oh my God, the last thing I want to do is hang out with that screwed up set of parents of his. Drew took off to golf with his dad early this morning and I haven’t seen him since. I have no idea if he’s even come home. For all I know, they could be making happy family time at the main house while I’m stuck here alone.
Yikes, I sound bitter even in my own head. And besides, I know he’s not home because I’ve been here all day and haven’t seen them return.
Being alone has brought me back to reality though. Again. And this is a good thing. I get too caught up with Drew when I’m with him and that’s definitely not a good thing. This way, spending time by myself at this unreal house with the unreal view, I know it’s all a fantasy.
I caught Adele snooping around the guesthouse earlier. Peeking in the windows, walking around the entire house. I watched her for a bit, hiding in corners but then I started to get mad. What was she doing? Trying to spy on me? Or was she looking for Drew?
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and threw open the door when I saw her skulking around the front. “Looking for someone?” I asked her, using the snottiest tone I could muster.
She crossed her arms in front of her, elegant as always in a pure white sweater and black leggings. I would look like a slob in a similar outfit. Of course, hers was probably designer and cost tons of money, while my sweater and leggings would come from Wal Mart or Target. “I thought you were gone,” she said.
“Hoping I was gone, I’m sure.” I don’t know where I got the balls to talk to her like that, but I’d had it. The ride home the night before had been a study in torture. No one talked and the tension had been near unbearable. A complete turnaround from the ride to the country club, when Drew and I kissed and he had his hands all over me.
She smirked. “You don’t like me very much, do you?”
“I figured the feeling was mutual.” I shrug, trying my best to look like I didn’t care, but inside my stomach had churned with nerves.
“You won’t last, you know. You’re not his type.”
I frowned. Of course, I’m not his type. That’s pretty freaking obvious, but I didn’t figure his bitch of a stepmother would so blatantly call me out on it. “And what, exactly, is Drew’s type?”
“Someone more like me.” Her smile grew, like she knew her words socked me straight in the stomach. Without another word, she turned and walked away.
Adele’s answer stuck with me the rest of the day. What the hell did she mean? I didn’t like it. She talks about Drew, looks at Drew, as if he belongs to her. Almost like they’re the ones in the relationship. It’s freaking creepy and makes me wonder if maybe they’ve fooled around in the past.
So gross. And scary. Drew acts like he hates her and that opens up another can of worms in my brain. Lots of what ifs I don’t like thinking about because they’re too ugly to face. It’s none of my business, I tell myself over and over again as I sit alone and wonder.
But he’s brought me into this mess. He’s sort of made it my business, right?
Wrong. Some things are better left alone.