“So . . .have you run into that guy? What was his name?”
“Ashton. Yes,” I admit reluctantly.
“And . . .how’d it go?”
I sigh. “About as good as a lit match near a pool of gasoline.”
“Wow.”
I fill her in on the conversation.
There’s a loud clatter as Kacey throws whatever she had into the sink. “What a douche bag! The next time I fly up there, I’m going to tear that guy’s balls off as promised.”
“No you’re not. It’s fine. I’m over it. Reagan and I are going out with some friends tonight. I’m just waiting for her to get back from the bathroom and then we’re on our way.”
“Oh, good. I knew I liked that chick.” I hear the patio door slide open and the sudden breeze against the receiver, followed by Kacey’s small groan. I can tell she’s easing herself into one of the lounge chairs on the back deck. “Well, I hope you have fun. Maybe lay off the Jell-O shots, seeing as I’m not there to control the repressed beast when she reveals herself.”
“Funny.” I bite my lip, hesitating. Do I just come out and tell her what Dr. Stayner told me? I don’t know how she’ll take it. Probably not well. I don’t want her worrying about me because there’s nothing to worry about. Dr. Stayner is wrong.
Before I get a chance to decide, Kacey starts up again in typical Kacey fashion. “But if you do go on another wild bender, make the guy wrap it up.”
“Jeez, Kacey. You sound like a dude,” I hear Trent say in the background.
“What! I’m just making sure my virginal sis thinks about these things when she lets the beast loose again.”
“What beast? Livie has a beast?” I hear a second male voice chirp. Ben, Kacey’s good-looking bouncer-turned-lawyer friend. “Damn. I need to meet it. I love beasts.”
And it’s official. Even a thousand miles away, my sister has still managed to make me want to die. I groan, my face falling into my hand. “Why did I wait until college to drink, Kacey? I should have gotten this out of my system years ago. Why would you let me wait?”
“Hey, I tried. Remember? If spiking your iced tea isn’t sisterly love, then I give up.”
The door opens and Reagan walks in, tossing her stuff on her dresser. She promptly taps her watch and then gestures to say she’ll be in the hall.
I nod, holding up a finger to indicate one minute. “Kace. I’ve got to go. Say hi to everyone. And tell them that I miss them.”
“Will do, Livie. We miss you tons. It’s not the same without you.”
Again, I have that nagging feeling that I should be telling her what Dr. Stayner said to me, but I don’t know how. I know he’s not right, but . . .what if he is? I know she’ll believe him. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to tell her. Because what will she say? What will she tell me to do? Probably the same thing she always says: Go live and let yourself make mistakes. “Hey, Kace?”
She must be able to sense the serious tone in my voice because her playful lilt disappears. Yeah, Livie?”
“How do you figure out the right way to live your life?”
There’s a long pause. So long that I check the screen of my cell phone to see if the call is still connected.
“Trial and error, Livie. That’s the only way that I know of.”
“It looks pretty quiet,” I say as I follow Reagan along the interlock driveway up to the front porch, which is attached to a stately two-story modern Craftsman-style house and surrounded by towering oak trees. One week ago I was walking along these same stones and feeling these same butterflies. Only this time it’s different because I do know someone inside.
Connor. And it’s a weird excited-nervous feeling that’s stirring inside my stomach this time.
“It’s early,” is all Reagan says, jogging up the steps like she’s been here a thousand times. She reaches out and opens the front door.
“Reagan! Shouldn’t we knock or—”
“Gidget!” I hear a male voice bellow. Peering over Reagan’s head, I see a guy sauntering down a long hall toward us, his bare feet slapping the hardwood floor.
Under my breath, I whisper, “Who is that?” I remember her saying that she knew a lot of people going to the party, but does she know the guys who live here? Does she know Connor? I mentioned Connor and she didn’t say anything except, “I’m in!”
“How could you forget Grant?” Reagan announces rather loudly, flashing one of her giant smiles. Subtlety doesn’t seem to be in Reagan’s nature.
He slows as he approaches, a crestfallen look passing over his face. “You don’t remember me?” he asks, his hands lifting to cover his chest as if his heart is in pain.
“I . . .uh . . .,” I sputter, shooting a glare in Reagan’s direction as my cheeks flush. They both burst out in laughter.
With a boyish grin, he extends a hand. “Hi, I’m Grant. Glad you ladies could make it.”
I offer a shy smile as I take it. “Livie.”