My sweet Lila Kate,
Your nursery is almost ready. It’s fit for a princess, but then, you are a princess. You’re our princess. There has never been another baby girl who is as loved as you are. I’m secretly hoping you look just like your daddy. But no matter who you look like, you will be beautiful.
We can’t wait to show you the things we’ve bought for you. We bought you your first Christmas ornament today. It’s white with pink polka dots and your initials monogrammed on the front. When I saw it in all of its sweet little girlie cuteness, I wanted to make sure you had it to hang on the tree every year. That way, if I’m watching from the clouds, you can remember that I picked it out for you. Daddy had the idea to get your initials painted on it. But then, he’s a smart man.
I hope that we hang it on the tree together each year. I’ll bake cookies, and you can decorate them with icing and sprinkles. Then we’ll string the popcorn and make a mess with glitter and glue as we decorate our own ornaments. It will be the most loved tree in Rosemary Beach. We’ll invite Nate over to help us. I’m sure he’ll enjoy making a mess as much as you will.
I’ve been stocking your library with all of my favorite picture books. I’ve written a note in each one from me to you, and I’ve added the dates that I bought the books, in case I’m not there to share them with you. Your daddy will read them to you. He can tell you about all the places I took him to in search of the perfect books for you.
The weeks are ticking by, and before I know it, I’ll see your face. If we have a lifetime or only a few moments together, you will be the most important thing that ever happens to me in this life.
Love you always,
Mommy
Harlow
We were attending a fund-raiser ball at the club tonight to raise money for the local fire department. Rosemary Beach wasn’t a big town, and the nearest big city was a forty-five-minute drive away, so the volunteer fire department was very cherished and necessary.
Woods had decided to host the ball, though the truth was, many residents had plenty of money to give to the fire department outright—and many did. That’s how it had gotten its start. But they liked to attend big galas so they could dress up and spend the evening with important people like Rush’s dad. Dean Finlay, the drummer for Slacker Demon and my father’s best friend, was on the board of directors for the Kerrington Country Club. He wasn’t your typical board member, but then, neither were Grant and Rush, and they were also board members. When Woods had inherited the club from his father after he died, he fired all of the other board members and chose his own. He and his father had never seen eye-to-eye on anything.
Senator Barnes would also be in attendance. I wasn’t sure of everyone who had made the invitation list, but I had heard his name from Woods recently. I hadn’t been spending much time at the club now that Nan was back in town. I was enjoying our house and preparing for Lila Kate. Dealing with the social dynamics of the Kerrington Club was something I wanted to keep my distance from right now. I spent time with Blaire at her house or mine; same with Della.
But tonight Grant had to fulfill his duties as a board member and needed to be there. Finding a dress that fit me was another story. My stomach was really showing now. I was thirty-one weeks along, and both Lila Kate and I were doing well. She was moving more and more lately; she’d started pushing her little foot so hard I could see my stomach stick out in that spot. Grant was highly entertained when this happened. Made it worth the discomfort to hear his laughter while he watched her beat me up. Honestly, I wouldn’t trade one of those moments. Ever.
With Blaire’s help, I had found a knee-length black crepe empire-waist gown with a crystal-encrusted halter neckline. I wore it with a pair of silver Louboutins. How was it that I had never felt beautiful before, but now that my stomach was the size of a basketball, I suddenly felt better about myself?
“Wow.” Grant’s voice interrupted my thoughts, and I glanced up in the mirror to see him walking up behind me. His eyes gleamed with appreciation. I let my eyes travel down his body, wrapped perfectly in a tuxedo. I had seen him in one before, and I knew how devastatingly handsome he could be, but this time, he was mine. And when the night was over, I would get to undress him. All mine.
“If I wasn’t a board member,” he said, before his lips touched my bare shoulder, “I would keep you here, and you could wear that sexy little dress, and we could play striptease. You strip, and I watch.” His wicked grin made me laugh.
“Sounds like I would be doing all the work,” I retorted.
He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Trust me, baby, once you got naked, I’d make it totally worth it.”
I shrugged. “OK, fine. You talked me into it. Let’s stay here and play.”
Grant pulled me back against his chest and gazed at me in the mirror. We stood there together, the three of us. My obvious stomach—and Lila Kate’s presence—couldn’t be missed. I wanted a picture of us, and I wanted it now. Just like this. I could put it with the next letter I wrote to her.
“Where’s your phone?” I asked him, looking around for mine.
He reached into his pocket and pulled it out. “Here,” he replied.
“I want a picture of us. The three of us. Like we are right now,” I told him.
“OK,” he said, pulling me close to him, my back to his chest. “I think I can hold it up and point it down so it’ll catch your adorable bump.”
“It’s not a bump. It’s a beach ball. Just be honest,” I said.
He winked. “You never tell a woman that her stomach looks like a beach ball. The results can be dangerous. Now, look up at the phone. This may take a few tries.” He tried three times before he was able to get us both smiling and my stomach in clear view. I loved it.
“Text it to me. I want it, too,” I told him.
He nodded and quickly sent me the photo. I would look at it later when I found my phone.
“You know we can get someone to take better pictures of us tonight if you want,” he said.
I loved our selfie with Lila Kate, but that wasn’t a bad idea. I would ask Blaire to take some pictures of us tonight. Then I’d have several to put with the letters.
The Fireman’s Ball was a success. There were hundreds of people there, and each had paid a lot for a ticket. I foresaw new fire trucks in the near future for Rosemary Beach.
Grant kept me close to his side while he greeted people and made introductions. There were so many people I hadn’t met yet. Watching Grant like this made me even more proud of him. He could go from sexy playboy to businessman in the blink of an eye—although the only playing he was doing these days was with me.
“I’m going to find Dean. Rush is looking for him. There’re some influential people here tonight who Woods wants to become members of the club, and he thinks Dean might seal the deal. Will you be OK by yourself for a few minutes? I don’t see Blaire anywhere, but I see Della over there near the corner talking to Bethy and Jimmy.”
I preferred to visit with Della, Bethy, and Jimmy instead of people I didn’t know. Several strangers seemed to recognize me, and they all zeroed in on my stomach with wide eyes. I was sure this would somehow make it into the gossip magazines. I expected someone to Tweet a photo of me and share with the world that I was knocked up. I had managed to keep a low profile, but with this crowd, I wasn’t sure if that was possible.
“So you’re still pregnant. Like, you’re actually gonna go through with this.” Nan’s voice brought me to a stop, and I wasn’t sure if I should acknowledge her or keep walking. I wanted to keep the peace with her. I had no reason to be mad at her, and I knew she would forever hate me, but retaliating would only make me stoop to her level. So I faced her.
“Yes, I’m going through with it,” I answered simply. She didn’t deserve any explanation.
She frowned, then let out an exasperated sigh. “What, dear old Dad didn’t force you to get an abortion so he could save his favorite child?” The bitterness in her voice made me sad. She was mean, but she hadn’t exactly been given the best life. Our father had shown me love as a child; he hadn’t done the same for Nan.
“Kiro can’t make me do anything. This is my baby. Not his. And this baby’s life is more important to me than my own,” I told her.
She studied me for a moment, as if trying to decide what I meant by that. “You really mean that, don’t you?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yes, I do.”
For a brief moment, I thought maybe, just maybe, we were having a breakthrough. Maybe we could bond, or at least call a truce. It was too much to hope that we could actually be family. But then she shrugged and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. It’s your life,” she said, then sauntered away in her heels. I was almost positive she was wearing a Valentino dress. The perfect ice queen.
When I turned back around, Della, Bethy, and Jimmy were gone. I spun around, looking through the crowd for a familiar face, but I didn’t see anyone. Fresh air sounded good, so I decided I would step outside and take a breather while Grant searched for Dean.
The cool night air touched my face, and I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment. So many eyes following my every move had become overwhelming. I wanted to be at home. My favorite thing to do was plant flowers in my backyard with no company except Grant. I really was a recluse.
“Guess the gossip mags were right. She’s knocked up. She looks like she’s about to pop.” A female voice drifted through the darkness. I stepped back into the shadow of the oak tree I was standing beside. I didn’t want whoever was talking about me to see me.
“Very pregnant. And it’s Grant’s. He’s stayed by her side all night. Bailey threw herself at him earlier after following him out of the room, and he pushed her away.”
The other girl made an annoyed sound. “Whatever. This is just a case of baby mama guilt. It ain’t like he’s planning on forever with her. Did you see a ring on her finger? No, you didn’t.”
My stomach tightened up, and I backed farther into the darkness. I wanted to walk away from their cruel words, because they didn’t know anything. They didn’t know about my heart. They didn’t know Grant was protecting himself.
“He sure was ready to propose to Nan last year. She said he had the ring and everything. It’s why she cheated on him. She wasn’t ready for commitment. I think she regrets that now, but maybe it’s not too late. He got that Manning girl pregnant, but that’s all he did.”
He was going to propose to Nan? He never told me that. He acted as if his time with her hadn’t meant anything. That he had been helping her. Had she really broken his heart? Was that why he had never mentioned marriage? I thought it was because of my heart. I just figured we would talk about it after I survived through the pregnancy.
“I saw Nan and him talking earlier. They were awfully close. Besides, doesn’t the Manning girl have, like, a heart problem? Can you have kids with a heart problem?”
I had heard enough. I wanted to go home now. Going back into a room full of people, knowing they were thinking similar things, was too much. I just wanted to hide away in our house. Or was it his house? I hadn’t bought it. He had. Was I just there until this thing we had was over?
Oh, God. I felt sick to my stomach. I needed to leave. Walking the long way around so the girls who had been talking about me couldn’t see me, I made my way over to the valet. I couldn’t take Grant’s truck. Even though it was a short two-mile ride to the house, I wasn’t comfortable with driving right now.
“Hello, Miss Manning, do you need a car brought around?” Henry asked. He was one of the regular valets.
I would not cry in front of poor Henry. “Could you bring a driver around? I need one of the club limos to take me home.”
He nodded and motioned with his hand to someone else. I had left my wrap at the coat check, but I had my clutch under my arm, so at least I had a key to the house. Facing Grant right now was not a good idea. But then he would worry about me. I pulled out my phone and sent him a quick text.
Not feeling well. I think I’m done for the evening. Stay and enjoy yourself. Having a club driver take me home.