To my precious baby,
You have so many people in your life who love you. I imagine that you love spending time with Nate by now. He’ll be someone you can look up to, and he’ll be like family for you. Rush was always like my family. Growing up with rock-star fathers isn’t easy, and Rush and I shared that bond.
I hope that you call them Uncle Rush and Aunt Blaire. I know that they’re going to welcome you with open arms. I can’t think of two better people to ask to be your godparents.
Then there are Woods and Della. They’re special friends, the kind of people I never expected to meet, but once again, they’re a gift your father gave to me. He gave me so many. I expect Woods and Della will have kids by now and that you’ll be friends with the Kerrington clan. When I was pregnant with you, Woods and Della stepped in and helped me out more than once. I cherish their friendship.
We’ve talked about your uncle Mase. He is going to be special in your life. Once he sees you for the first time, you’ll win his heart. I know him too well. He’s a big softie. Be sure to hug him often and tell him how much you love him for me. Even if I’m there with you, he will eat it up. He likes attention.
His mother, your aunt Maryann, was your first champion. She was ready to slay dragons for you, if that was what was required. Know that if you ever need anything and aren’t sure who to turn to, you can go to her. She’s wise and full of good advice.
Then there’s your aunt Nan. I don’t even know if you’ll refer to her as Aunt or not. I’m not sure if she’ll be in your life much or at all. I hope she is. I’m surprising myself by saying this, but I do hope you have a relationship with her. I think she has suffered from rejection so many times in her life by people who were supposed to love her unconditionally that she became bitter. It marked her. I want her to find happiness and a way to heal. Maybe we will both see that day happen. I hope we do.
So you see, you already have a family. People who are ready to meet you and love you and be there for you throughout life. You’ll never be alone. It’s the one thing that gives me the most comfort when I lie down to sleep at night.
Love you always,
Mommy
Harlow
The sight of Nan’s hands in Grant’s hair as she kissed him was tormenting me. Della and Blaire had spent the past several hours trying to get my mind off of it, so I pretended I was over it, but I wasn’t. All I could think was that Nan was healthy. She’d be able to give him babies with no cause for fear. Healthy babies. She would be here if I wasn’t.
The idea that Grant could love someone else someday hurt so much, but then the selfishness of that emotion made me furious with myself. If something happened to me, I wanted Grant to find happiness again. I wanted someone to love him and give him the life he deserved. I did.
Just not with Nan.
God, how wrong was that? What had happened to me? I was a nice person. I had always been a nice person, but now . . . ugh. I was disgusted with myself. I didn’t know what I felt. My emotions were all over the place. I was weepy all the time and clingy. I wasn’t a clingy, weepy person.
“He’s already home. I bet he’s been pacing and worrying his head off,” Blaire said with a smile. “Don’t be too hard on him. I believe Nan really did attack him. He’ll learn to keep his distance.”
I nodded. She was right. I knew she was, and now the idea of him being worried all day made me feel even worse. “I probably shouldn’t have been so hard on him,” I said.
“Yeah, you should have. He gets away with too much because he’s so charming. He needed to be reminded that he can’t let that kind of thing happen. If you don’t let him know it bothers you, it could happen again with someone else,” Blaire explained.
I trusted her. She loved Rush, but she had dealt with her own Nan battles. Nan was Rush’s baby sister and had grown up with him in their mother’s, Georgianna’s, house. Rush had spent most of his life babying Nan and taking care of her. When Blaire walked into his life, Nan hadn’t dealt well with that.
“Thanks for today. I really enjoyed it,” I told them.
“I’m glad we got to do it. I missed you,” Della said. Her smile was always so sincere and kind.
“We’ll do it again,” Blaire assured us both. “Next time, though, I’m forcing Bethy to come with us. Kicking and screaming, if I have to.” Blaire had begged Bethy to come with us, but she’d said she had things to do at home. Blaire said she closed herself off whenever she wasn’t working at the club. It was getting worse instead of better for her, clearly.
“I’ll see y’all later,” I told them, and stepped out of the car.
The front door opened before my foot had hit the bottom step, and Grant was waiting for me at the top of the stairs. His face was full of concern and fear. In my heart, I knew what I had seen earlier wasn’t his fault. It still hadn’t made it easier to watch. I hadn’t been able to ease his mind when I had left him at the club. I was upset, and I wasn’t sorry about that. He would be, too, if he’d been in my position. But from the look on his face, he had worried about this all day.
“I’m sorry,” we both said in unison.
Grant frowned. “Why are you sorry?” he asked as I stopped in front of him.
“For making you worry all day. I shouldn’t have done that. It was wrong of me.”
Grant let out a groan and rubbed his face with his hand. “Harlow, please don’t make this worse. I already feel like a complete ass, and you apologizing sweetly is making me feel like a bigger one.”
I reached up and tugged his hand away from his face. “You shouldn’t have let her get so close to you. In the future, be more guarded. But it was a mistake, and I understand that. I don’t think you wanted her to kiss you.”
He pulled me toward him and pressed me against the door as his mouth covered mine. The mint flavor of his mouth made me wonder how many times he’d brushed his teeth. Smiling against his lips, I slid an arm around his neck and licked at the corner of his mouth, then pulled his tongue into my mouth and sucked on it.
Grant’s hands were under my top in seconds. They cupped my breasts as he pressed his erection against my stomach. This was just what I needed after a day of thinking about Nan’s lips on Grant.
He broke the kiss, and I had started to argue when he jerked the door open. “Get inside before we get arrested for indecent exposure,” he growled.
Laughing, I hurried inside but didn’t get far before Grant had me pressed against the wall as he kissed my neck and took little bites of my shoulder. I could feel the hardness he’d teased me with outside against my bottom as he ground his hips in a circular motion. All I could do was put both of my hands against the wall to hold myself upright and enjoy the ride.
He pulled my shorts down my legs, along with my panties, and I obediently stepped out of them. Then his hands were on my bottom, cupping it as he moved my legs apart. Before I could figure out what he was doing, his mouth was on my slit. I cried out and fell against the wall as his tongue danced along the tender folds.
“Oh, God, I can’t stand up,” I cried out, feeling my knees buckle.
Grant reached up, grabbed my waist, and turned me around. “Put your legs over my shoulders,” he said, looking up at me while he held me by the waist. “I got you. I won’t let you fall.”
I did as he instructed, and he held my hips and pushed me back against the wall before continuing his efforts to drive me crazy. I grabbed at the one thing I seemed so fond of when he did this: his hair. He seemed to like it. His kissing always got more intense when I started tugging on his thick locks.
I panted and let out moans and gasps, not caring if I fell off his shoulders. Just as long as he kept doing this. Just when I was about to shatter, he stopped, and his eyes found mine. “You ready to come?”
I nodded, afraid I would scream yes if I opened my mouth.
Grant grinned wickedly, then stuck his tongue out at me before lowering his head and flicking the tip over my most sensitive spot three times and pulling it into his mouth and sucking. I completely lost it. I was sure the neighbors heard my cries. But I didn’t care.