Ari took a moment to soften her honesty. “If it’s that bad, why do you want to be their queen?”
“Because the queen controls the barbarity,” she said, not dismissive, but on the border of it. “On Lionel, we have the chance to revise the more backward aspects of the culture. And we have each other now.” Gwen’s always confident voice frayed a little. “I mean, I’m not letting you take on this anti-Mercer mantle all alone. Lionel is behind you, one hundred percent.”
Ari stared at Gwen. Her brown eyes were entrancing. Velvet, almost. If Ari had been any other girl, she might have stayed in this moment of hope with her new wife.
“We’re going to fail,” Ari said, the truth slipping out like a dagger laid upon a table. “Mercer is a hundred times stronger than Lionel. Maybe if we went to Ketch, and got some real backup…”
Gwen looked stunned. “You want to go to Ketch?”
“If I could find a way through the barrier, we would have strength in numbers. There were billions of Ketchans before the barrier closed. The planet is huge.” Ari didn’t have to add that going to Ketch would mean leaving Gwen’s Lionelian responsibilities… and therefore Gwen. This was not something they could do together. This was an Ari and Merlin mission for sure.
Merlin. Oh, gods, he better be all right.
Gwen slipped on her robe, sliding past the subject of going to Ketch. “I’ll check with Jordan and see how close we are.”
Ari watched her leave, the queen’s shoulders squared, her hair somehow more glorious when it was a free tangle of curls than perfectly pinned up. They weren’t fighting all out; they just weren’t lining up at the moment, either. Ari twirled her new ring on her finger, catching herself smiling at it. For all their weirdly tense history, the idea of Gwen in her life, for the rest of her life, did make her damn happy.
Val cleared his throat from the doorway.
“Are Lam and Kay getting ready for the plan?” she asked.
“Plan?” Val said with firmly crossed arms. “There’s no plan. There’s just ‘Merlin will give us a sign.’ We are literally flying into a maximum-security planet looking for anything.”
“Watch it, Val,” Kay said, passing by in the hall. “Your boyfriend is helping my parents.”
“Excuse me, he’s not my boyfriend,” Val said, whirling around. “But he would be by now if all of you hadn’t let him get himself arrested.”
Lam popped their head in around Val. “Mercer put atmosphere alarms around Urite, the bastards. Jordan just picked up the signal. We’ll only have a few minutes once we land before Mercer is headed straight for us.”
Lam disappeared into the main cabin. Ari turned back to Val’s hard frown. “I’m sorry, and I feel pretty terrible about Merlin being arrested. I’m scared sick for him.”
“I don’t want apologies, Ari. I want him back.” He rubbed his neck. “Merlin is the only person I’ve connected with in years. Do you know how hard it is to find someone weird enough for me, even on Lionel?”
“That’s why I’m going planet-side. To do what I can for all of them,” Ari said, squeezing Val’s shoulder. “Don’t forget, I’m the only one on board who can wield a mythological sword. Excalibur and Merlin’s magic are the keys to beating Mercer. I have no doubt about that.”
And Ketch, she thought wildly. For some reason, ever since her memory pairing with Merlin, Ari could feel King Arthur inside of her, tugging her like he had on that day when he’d led her to Excalibur in the oak… and he really wanted her to go to Ketch.
“What about the one who attacked us on Troy?” Val’s expression narrowed to a point. His experience with Morgana had left a mark. “Whose side is she on?”
“Not Mercer’s,” Ari said. “At least I don’t think so.”
Val left, and Ari started putting on her pants. Her boots. Her belt.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” Gwen said, returning with a hard scowl. “It’s far too costly for you to go down there. If you get caught you could die. Or worse, Mercer could use your felony as grounds to take over Lionel and dethrone me.”
Ari squinted, still clicking her belt in place. “How is the second one worse than the first?”
“In the first reality, I lose you. In the second? All Lionelians lose their home. Thousands of my people will die because they can’t relocate to Mercer-controlled planets. They’ll be refugees.”
“Gwen, as the supposed savior of humankind, I’m pretty sure I have to get my hands dirty.”
Gwen slid her palms against Ari’s, entwining their fingers. “I have other ideas for those hands.”
Ari growled in a pleased way. She couldn’t help it. Gwen pressed closer without reservation. Body to body, lips to lips. Ari’s thoughts swung in tighter and tighter circles until they vanished and she was lifting Gwen into their kiss.
Ari’s knotted muscles released, her insides melting. She fell into the bed, pulling Gwen on top of her. Their hips connected in a way that made Ari tear at Gwen’s clothes, and it wasn’t until Ari had pulled Gwen’s delicate shoulders out of her robe and left a trail of kisses from her neck to her lovely nipples that she came back up for air.
Ari dropped her head on the bed, dizzy, gasping. Red hot. She sat up on her elbows. Gwen’s beautiful, rich skin was all she could see. Ari made herself look into Gwen’s eyes. “I have to go down there with them.”
“Trust your knights.” She squeezed Ari’s hips with her thighs. “Stay with me.”
Perhaps it was Lionel that made Gwen refer to Ari’s friends as her knights, but it only reminded her of Merlin. Of King Arthur. “Do you believe what everyone else believes, Gwen? That I’m some magical, long-dead king?”
Gwen sat up, straddling Ari like a winged mythical creature. She shrugged her robe back onto her shoulders. “I think people need heroes. I think you’re a hero. It’s that simple to me. And that important. And I’m not going to lose you on stupid Urite.”
“They’re my parents, Gwen.”
“Your parents are… important. They’re just not more important than beating Mercer.”
Ari sat up, pushing Gwen away. “Are you serious right now?”
Gwen was steaming. “I have parents, too, Ari, but you don’t see me dropping everything I care about to save them.”
Ari felt Gwen’s words in strange places. “You told me your parents were dead.” Gwen slid farther away, now more of a delicate bird perched on the edge of the bed. “And you were born on Troy and never told me. Why do you keep lying? What else are you lying about?”
“Stop.”
“How am I supposed to trust you if you’re still keeping secrets?”
She will hurt you in the end, so very badly, Merlin had said.
Gwen turned, surprising Ari with bright tearful spots in her eyes. “Still keeping secrets? Are we fourteen again, making out behind the stables while you demand to know everything about me, and when I don’t tell you instantly, you run away?”
Now that was a harsh truth. Ari sat up, shoulder to shoulder with Gwen, unable to look at her. “We’re not exactly the same. We have sex now.”
“Is that supposed to be funny?” Gwen’s eyes flared. “Why are you acting like I’m about to dump you?”
Ari didn’t look away. She couldn’t. “Merlin says you’re going to hurt me. Like this is part of the cycle.”
“He what?”
“I don’t want to believe it, but he’s been weirdly right before. And you said it yourself that this King Arthur stuff has some merit to it.”
“You believe him? You think I’m going to hurt you because some skinny puppy wizard said so?”
They both fell silent.
“I’m sorry,” Ari finally said.
“About what, Ari? That you believe Merlin is telling the truth and that I’m lying because I won’t tell you everything? You’ve twisted me up inside all over again, except it’s worse because I’m not fourteen anymore and I know that I love you.”
Ari tilted on the bed, surprised.