No Tomorrow

I lost that battle. Right now as I’m sitting on the plane in a seat that four of me could fit into, I’m glad.

First class is amazing. No strangers squished up around me on all sides, coughing and talking. No bathroom line. No teeny tiny aisle.

The flight attendant brought me a hot fudge sundae. It’s like she just magically knew I love ice cream.

I even took a nap, completely undisturbed, under a nice soft blanket.

Blue promised he would treat me like a princess and right now, I’m feeling like one.

My heart nearly stops when I see him waiting for me at the baggage claim area. He looks like a whole lot of sexy bad boy wearing faded jeans with ripped knees, untied combat boots, and a long-sleeved black shirt unbuttoned all the way down to the top pack of his six-pack abs. His long hair hangs in tousled waves over his shoulders and down the middle of his back. Several leather corded necklaces with crosses, feathers, and stones hang from his neck.

He smiles when he sees me, and pushes his mirrored sunglasses up to the top of his head.

Last year I read an interview on the internet accusing him of wearing mirrored sunglasses to hide his blood-shot, stoned eyes. At the time he replied, “I wear them so people can see themselves and not me.” I wonder why Blue wants to hide from people. Not let them in to meet the man behind the words and the music. Thankfully, he lets me in. Most of the time, anyway.

Capturing my face in both his hands, he backs me up against the wall near the luggage conveyer and kisses me like he’s going to do me right in the middle of the baggage claim area. I’m breathless and frazzled when he pulls away.

“I missed you,” he says, his head still bent close to mine.

I take a deep breath. “I missed you, too.”

It’s been two weeks since he last visited us in New Hampshire, but it’s felt like an eternity.

“How was your flight?”

“Awesome. Thank you for getting me a first-class ticket. It was so comfortable and quiet.”

He grins. “I’m going to like spoiling you, Ladybug.”

“You don’t have to spoil me.”

“You waited forever for me to get my shit together, babe. You deserve to be spoiled.”

I run my fingertip over the leather cord of one of his necklaces. “I only want you.”

“I know.” He winks at me and grabs my hand, lacing our fingers. “Let’s go get your bags and get out of here.”

I only have one large suitcase, which we find quickly, and then we maneuver our way through the busy terminal to the exit.

“Oh my God!” a girl suddenly shrieks, jumping right in front of us. “You’re Blue from No Tomorrow! Holy shit!” Her friend has joined her, and they’re now jumping up and down in front of us like Mexican jumping beans.

“We’ve been to almost all your concerts!” the second jumper says. “Can we get your autograph?”

“Sure.” He gives my hand a squeeze before he lets go to take a marker that one of the girls has whipped out of her purse.

“Can you sign my shirt?” she squeals.

“I’ll sign the back,” he offers.

“Mine too!”

I watch with a smile as he signs their shirts and answers their questions about his next tour.

“Are you his actual girlfriend?” the first jumper asks.

I stammer for a few seconds, because I have no idea what I actually am or what he wants the public to know.

“She is,” Blue answers, surprising me just as much as the two fans.

“Oh my God I am sooooooooooo jealous,” she says. “Of course you’re like twenty-one, right? I guess it’s true rock stars only date young model chicks.”

“Um, I’m thirty,” I reply.

Both the girls’ mouths fall open. “Get out! There’s no way you’re thirty!”

“I really am.”

Blue puts his arm around me and kisses the top of my head. “She really is. We’ve been together for like almost ten years.”

Their mouths gape wider. I think I’m gaping, too. “Shit, that’s crazy. You are soooo lucky.”

I try not to laugh. “Thanks.”

“We really gotta roll. Thanks for saying hi to us,” Blue says, steering us away from them.

“Wow,” I say when we’re a few feet away. “My first fan experience. Does that happen a lot?”

“Yeah. You handled it great.”

“They were cute.”

“They aren’t always that nice.”

“You told them we’ve been together for almost ten years. That’s not exactly true.” We’ve been apart more than we’ve been together.

He looks down at me with a crooked smile as we exit the airport. “Yeah it is, babe.”

I guess he’s right. There are different degrees of being together.

“I wish Lyric was here too. How’s she doing?”

“She’s great. Staying with my parents. She brought her harp with her so she can practice every day.”

“She played for me over the phone the other night. She’s playing music by ear. Did you know that?”

“Yeah. Her teacher is really impressed.”

“Our kid is kickass.” He lights up a cigarette and leads me across the parking garage to a souped-up, black muscle car with wide back tires and a spoiler in the hood. He unlocks the door and throws my suitcase in the back, then holds the passenger-side door open for me.

“This is your car?”

“Well, I ain’t stealin’ it. Hell yeah, it’s mine. 1969 Mustang, babe. The hottest car on the fucking planet.”

Damn. Blue traded in walking for a car as hot as he is.

“Do you like it?” he asks when we’re both inside. I nod as he puts the key in the ignition and the engine roars to life.

“It’s beautiful.”

He runs his hand over the steering wheel. “It’s the first car I’ve ever owned. I’ve wanted this exact car since I was twelve years old.”

“And now you have it,” I reply, smiling with pride.

“You wanna drive?”

I quickly shake my head. “God, no. I’ve never driven anything this nice or fast before.”

“You’re not gonna crash it. I trust you.”

“I don’t know how to drive a stick.”

“I’ll teach you.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah.”

I have visions of seizing up his transmission before I even make it out of the parking lot. “Maybe another time,” I say. “I’d rather you drive.”

“Okay. You’re off the hook for now. Are you hungry? Do you want to grab a bite to eat?”

“I’m not really hungry yet. I ate something on the plane.” Something meaning two ice cream sundaes.

“You mind going to my place? You can call Lyric, let her know you’re here.”

“That’d be great.”

After some debate, I decided I’d stay at his place rather than at a hotel because I want to spend as much time as possible with him while I can. Now that I’m here, I feel a mix of excitement and nerves. We’ve never spent more than two nights in a row together, and now I’m going to be staying with him for a week. As much as I feel like I know him, it’s like dating someone new. Our relationship has never progressed to the intimacy of sharing space and it could very well reveal things we might not like about each other.

“You okay?” he asks, turning the car onto the busy highway.

I glance over at him. “Yeah.”

He lowers his sunglasses back over his eyes. “This is why I wanted you to come here. I’m not the guy in the shed or the voice on the other end of the phone anymore.”

“I know. But you’re still you. Right?”

“There’s a lot of versions of me, Piper. Take your pick.”

“Okay,” I say skeptically.

He moves his hand from the leather shifter knob to my leg. “Hey. I’ve been fucked up for a long time. High, drunk, sober, poor, rich. You name it, I’ve fuckin’ been it.”

“I know. And I loved all those versions of you, but I like you the most when you’re not all messed up.”

“Don’t worry, babe. I’m not falling off the wagon.”

I hope not.

“Good.”

“So I guess....” He moves the car into the fast lane. “Now we gotta figure out if you like me like this.”

“Like this?”

“Yeah. With cars and money and autographs and traveling and stress and interviews and all that shit.”

“That’s not you, Blue. That’s just what you do and what you have. You’re still the same guy who makes me feel like I’m the only girl in the world.”

“There are other girls out there?” he teases.

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