A light sheen of sweat glistens his body, and his hair flails around his head like a thrashing metal head in concert. He’s lost again, only this time in the depths of my body rather than strings and pages and notes and words. He leans over me, bending my legs with him until my thighs are pressed against my breasts, and claims my mouth with his. Digging my nails into his back as he drills into me, I let myself spin out of control with him, not caring about the cold or my growling stomach or the wind howling outside. Nothing matters more to me than making him happy and giving him what he needs to ease his self-torture and bring him peace. I can be drug, lover, and best friend for him. I’m convinced I can be the peace he’s missing, just as he is mine.
He’s asleep within minutes after we collapse onto the mattress together, both of us exhausted, sweaty, and breathless. After gently pulling the blanket up over his shoulders, I carefully untangle my body from his and sit up, scanning the dim room for my clothes. Pieces of notepaper are everywhere, and I pick up the ones that are closest to me and arrange them in a neat stack in case he wants to look them over tomorrow. As I put the stack of paper off to the side, I can’t help but notice that the top sheet is filled with nothing but random scribbles. The words and musical notes I assumed he was writing don’t exist.
His arm instantly snakes around me, distracting me from the paper, and I drop it as he pulls me back down next to him, molding his body against mine.
“Stay,” he murmurs. “I hate when you leave in the middle of the night.”
I hate it, too, but I’ve never been able to bring myself to stay overnight in the shed. I’m afraid of getting caught by the police and arrested for trespassing. I’m even more afraid of the spiders that might be waiting for me to fall asleep so they can come out and do whatever scary shit spiders do. I’m afraid I’ll have to pee in the middle of the night. And then again in the morning when I wake. Traipsing out into the edge of the yard and squatting amongst the weeds and trees sucks.
This is the first time he’s ever asked me to stay, though, and I hope it’s a sign he’s becoming more attached to me and doesn’t want to let me go. Technically, there’s no reason I can’t stay overnight. I don’t have to be at work tomorrow, and I know Archie has enough food and water to hold him over until I get home. For sure, my mother will worry if she realizes I never came home, but I’m an adult and can stay out all night if I want to, whether she likes it or not. It was part of the agreement when I moved downstairs that they would allow me to be independent and not pry too much.
Settling back into Blue’s arms, I pull the blanket back over us before all the heat of sex escapes.
“I love you like there’s no tomorrow. Don’t ever forget that,” he says with his chin against my shoulder. My heart swells in my chest as it does every time he says those special words. Hugging his arm tighter to my chest, I say it back, even though I’m sure he’s already sound asleep. Unfortunately, sleep doesn’t come as easy for me as it does for him. The fear of looming bugs hinders me from relaxing enough to close my eyes.
“Acorn,” I whisper, and he lifts his head from his fleece dog bed in the corner to look at me questioningly. “Come here, puppy.” I pat the bed next to me, and when he happily trots over, I lift the edge of the blanket for him to crawl in beside me. He licks my hand before making himself cozy next to me under the covers. Sighing, I feel warm and protected, snuggled between Blue and the fuzzy dog I’ve also fallen in love with.
Chapter Ten
For the first time since we met, we’re having dinner in a local diner while Acorn waits in the back seat of my car on a blanket with a special bone I bought for him. I can’t even describe how good it feels to be out in public on a real date with the guy I’m in love with.
Christmas music is playing in the background, and I feel festive in my fuzzy white sweater and matching mittens and hat that I’ve put on the chair next to me. I keep glancing at Blue while I read the menu because he looks incredibly handsome tonight. His hair is freshly washed, all fluffy and wavy. The subtle scent of the cologne I gave him a few weeks ago fills my lungs with hints of sandalwood and vanilla. And don’t even ask me how a man can look so hot in a black sweater, but he sure as hell does. The knit fabric accentuates his wide shoulders and chest and makes him look positively cuddly and sexy.
I worried that Blue might appear out of place somehow or act awkward being in a restaurant, but I was wrong. He’s completely relaxed and natural, exuding his usual magnetic confidence. I catch several of the waitresses gawking at him as they walk by, but I curb my jealousy. He never flirts back, and I’ve never caught him checking out other women. Not once. His eyes are always on me, and they truly are a window to his thoughts, revealing his good and bad moods as well as his deepest emotions. There’s no way I could ever question his love for me because it’s so undeniable in the way he looks at me. That can’t be faked or forced. And neither can the flashes of need and desire I often see when I catch him staring at me.
Dinner was his idea, prompted by him making extra money this week after playing in a few bars. I feel bad letting him spend money on me, but I also know I need to let him pay and take care of me once in a while so he doesn’t feel like he’s taking advantage of me.
“What’s good here?” he asks.
“Hmm… They make a wicked good burger. And the chili cheese fries are amazing.”
His face lights up. “Fuck yeah. We’re getting those.”
“And they have Cherry Cokes with real cherry syrup.”
“Let’s get that, too.”
After the waitress takes our order, he reaches across the table and holds my hand in his. “I’m glad we did this. I’m sorry it’s not to a nicer place. Someday, I’ll take you to a five-star restaurant, baby.”
“Don’t be silly. This is perfect. We’ll never get Cherry Coke and chili cheese fries in a fancy restaurant.”
He flashes his boyish grin. “You’re probably right. I have a few more gigs lined up this month. The guy who usually plays guitar in that band is getting married and going on a two-week honeymoon, so I’ll be filling in for him.”
I nod as the waitress puts our drinks in front of us, and I immediately reach for mine, being the sugar addict I am. “That’s great.”
“At least I’ll have some extra cash for once. They talked me into singing at a few of the upcoming gigs. I know how much that turns you on, so you could come. If you want to.”
“Are you kidding? I’d love to. Acorn should be okay in the car for a few hours while I’m inside. I could check on him a few times.”
This is actually the third time we’ve left Acorn in my car. Twice so we could go inside a store and another time when I practically dragged Blue to urgent care when he had a terrible cough. Acorn was well behaved and didn’t try to dig his way out of the car or bark his head off.
“I like when you come listen to me.”
“I’d love to be there every time you play. You know I can’t get enough of you,” I tease.
“Trust me, babe. I know.”
The waitress returns and places our food on the table, and when she’s gone, I take a deep breath to prepare myself for what I’m about to ask Blue.
“Christmas is next week, and every year, I use that week for my vacation time since I never take a real vacation.”
“You should go somewhere. Like Disney or Aruba. I’m sure Ditra would love to go with you.”
I spear a fry with my fork and shake my head in frustration that the conversation has already gone in the wrong direction.
“I really don’t want to travel right now, especially over the holiday. But I wanted to ask you if maybe you want to come over for Christmas Eve?” I keep talking so he can’t say no yet, even though his face has taken on the liking of a deer caught in the headlights. “It’s just going to be my family… my parents, my younger sister, my older sister and her fiancé, and probably my grandparents. It’s casual. My mom makes homemade soup and chili and a bunch of desserts, and we open a few presents.”
He shifts in his chair and clicks his tongue piercing. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I keep the smile plastered on my face. “It’ll be nice. You can’t spend Christmas all alone.”
“I always do. I don’t mind. I have Acorn.”