“Seeing Trey die was hard. I was a new doctor, and I got too close. I guess learning how to lose a patient wasn’t something I was really going to understand in medical school. It was like losing a friend. I guess John never came to terms with losing both his wife and only child, and really did go over the edge. I don’t know if he was psychotic before this happened, or if it really was the accident that caused his radical behavior.”
Dante wrapped his arm around her and pulled her flush against his side. “If a man or woman has the capability to murder, it’s already there. What happened was just the excuse he needed to play out his rage. This isn’t your fault, Sarah.”
“I was hoping he’d just go away, find another life somewhere, and get over his grief, since he was never caught. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind, I realized that he could end up coming after me. But I never really looked at it as a reality. I thought it was over.” She’d wanted to start over again, forget the past. But the past had finally caught up to her with a vengeance.
“Once we find him, you can really start over again. You’ll never have that niggling doubt or have to live with the fear that he’ll find you. Judging by the brutal job he did on your personal possessions, his rage has just increased over the last year,” Dante said soberly.
“It looks like it has,” Sarah agreed, snuggling into the warmth of Dante’s body.
“He’s still here somewhere. Joe seems like a competent chief, and I’m sure he’s making this a top priority.”
“He’s a good man,” Sarah agreed. “He’s really devoted to his family and his job.”
“Do you still have the panic attacks?” Dante reached for her hand and rested their entwined fingers on his hip.
“No. Not unless I get near a hospital. I’ve tried to desensitize myself, but I can’t seem to even get close to the entrance of a hospital without getting palpitations and dizziness.” Sarah hated it. It was a weakness she couldn’t overcome.
“You’ve managed to practice medicine anyway,” he observed, his fingers tightening on hers. “You’re a brave woman, sweetheart.”
She didn’t always feel very brave. She was just a survivor. “I’m an internal medicine doctor. Not being able to admit a patient to the hospital and follow their care doesn’t feel right to me.”
“I understand. It would be a little like me developing a fear of guns or something. I’d be screwed,” he answered hoarsely. “But you’ve made the best out of it.” He paused before asking, “How often do you talk to your mother? Did she take good care of you while you were injured?”
It seemed important to Dante that she’d been well cared for, that someone had been there to understand her mental state and comfort her. Sarah sighed. “She tried. I guess you have to know her. Her world revolves around education. When I was injured and anxious, she didn’t really understand. I think she expected me to revert back to the same daughter I’d been before. But I couldn’t please her anymore. She wanted to pick me the perfect man and see me married someday to another academic and have brilliant kids. She’s still trying. We don’t talk very often. She’s usually too busy. When she does call, it’s usually because she’s found me a man with a similar gene pool.”
Dante stretched his arm out and turned off the lamp on the bedside table, plunging the room into darkness except for the faint moonlight shining through his window. “You do realize the way you were raised wasn’t normal.”
“I do now. I don’t think I ever really knew what normal was when I was younger. My mother was all I had, and I wasn’t exactly a normal kid.” She yawned, her body starting to feel relaxed and lethargic.
“You need sleep,” Dante observed.
“Do you want me to go back to my own bedroom?” Maybe Dante liked his space when he slept, but she was hoping he didn’t. She wanted to stay with him tonight.
“Hell, no. I wouldn’t sleep all night, even if you were just next door. I want you to stay here with me.”
He let go of her hand after a final squeeze, then turned on his side and wrapped his arms around her waist. She turned and let him spoon with her. “I’d feel better staying here. I guess I’m a little spooked after what happened.”
“You have every right to be. And I want you in my bed.”
Right at that moment, that was exactly where she wanted to be, too. She felt . . . safe. With Dante’s arms wrapped protectively around her, she slept.
CHAPTER 10
“I’ve never owned this many clothes in my life.” Sarah stared at the seemingly mile-high stack of clothing that occupied every inch of the bed in Dante’s guest room. “What was he thinking?”
“Hey, I picked you out some very nice stuff,” Emily Sinclair protested, picking up another hanger from a stack on the floor. She cut off the tags from a brand-new pair of jeans before she hung them in the closet. “I had a very large budget to work with,” she told Sarah in an amused tone.
Randi sighed as she folded some sinfully soft lingerie and put it in the dresser drawer. “I think I want a Sinclair brother,” she whined jokingly.
“Take Jared. Please,” Emily cajoled, taking another garment from the pile. “Maybe he’ll settle down and date a woman more than once.”