He sat down to tell his story.
“I got to El Cajon and headed to the Mormon chapel. To my disappointment, the first congregation I went to was a Spanish-speaking group. And there were no young girls among them anyway. So I waited around until the next congregation came into the building.” Mormon congregations are able to share the same buildings by starting their worship services at different times. “I went into the church and kind of looked around, like I was lost and lonely. Some people came up to talk to me. They invited me to the men’s study group. All through the lesson, I almost had to laugh. They were treating me like I didn’t know anything, when I am the Davidic king! The Lord’s prophet here on Earth! What did they think they could teach me?
“Once that was over, I headed with the rest of the crowd to Sunday school, where the lesson was on Daniel in the lion’s den. The silly little Mormon missionaries kept trying to pull me out of Sunday school to attend their special class but I told them I wanted to keep learning about Daniel. Those young fools. What do they know about anything?
“I do think, however, that the lesson was inspired. Is there any doubt that I was just like Daniel in the lion’s den? There I was, all of these wicked souls around me, all of these wicked and nasty people who would have torn me apart had they known what I intended to do to one of their children.
“Finally, we went in to sacrament meeting. But again, I was disappointed. There were no acceptable young girls in sight! I started to think that maybe it was not the time yet. Maybe the Lord was just testing my faithfulness. Maybe it was a test like Abraham and Isaac.
“After the meeting was over, I was walking through the parking lot when a car pulled over and the window rolled down. A man who had sat by me in one of the meetings stuck his head out and invited me to come home to have dinner with his family. You should have seen the meal. It was beautiful! Chicken covered in almonds and sauce, green beans, mashed potatoes, and dessert!”
Mitchell stopped to look at us and gloat. He licked his lips for effect. “It was delicious,” he said.
I turned and looked at Barzee. She was furious. And so was I.
Here we were, trapped in the fire swamp for weeks, sitting on buckets and homemade chairs, surrounded by filthy, smelly blankets and creepy overhanging trees. We had not eaten all day. We’d been eating poorly for months. The thought of a home-cooked meal sounded like a miracle to us. Barzee swallowed her anger and neither of us said anything.
Mitchell went on in his self-righteous voice, the voice he used after he had just talked to God. “I learned that they have a daughter. She will be my next wife.”
Barzee stared at him in rage. “You ate without bringing us any food?” she hissed.
I shook my head at the bitter irony. Her husband had just told her that he had found another wife, and the only thing that she could think about was the fact that he had eaten without bringing her any food.
Mitchell looked at the ground in fake humility. “The Lord blesses those of us who are faithful. And because I was faithful, He revealed that their daughter was to be my next wife. Then, after I had received this revelation, the Lord gave me His approval by providing a sumptuous feast.”
Barzee lifted her fist and cried, “Do you think nothing of me? You go out and stuff your face full of food and then come back and gloat about how good it was when you know I haven’t eaten anything all day. I had nothing to eat yesterday! That’s two days without food. We’ve been eating like mice for months now. And you gloat because you got a home-cooked meal!”
Mitchell smiled and moved toward her. He was so used to manipulating her, and she was so willing to be manipulated, that he knew exactly what to say. “Hephzibah, I love you. I always think of you. But the Lord has placed a heavy mantle upon me, even through my weaknesses. But then the Lord, in His great bounty, blesses me because He knows that I struggle under this great burden. To lighten my heavy load, He bestows great gifts upon me. The feast that I have eaten is one of those gifts. But it was also a sign that I have chosen correctly. All of these things were signs from God. It was like when the angel came to Joseph and told him that Mary was a beloved virgin and that he should still wed her.”
Listening to him, I wanted to puke. Blagh! was the only thought that was going through my head.
After he had calmed Barzee, and after she had composed herself again, they pulled out their handmade calendar and started to go through the days, seeking revelation as to when he should “go forth” again.
They talked for a few minutes and then Mitchell announced, “January fourth.”