I didn’t know what to say. Moments passed in angry silence until he went on. His voice was softer now. “I didn’t want to do this, Esther. I didn’t want to take you. It wasn’t my idea. But God spoke. I had to listen.” He stopped a moment, his eyes looking down. “I am His prophet, Esther, his mouthpiece here on Earth. When He commands, I must obey. He could command me to move this mountain, and I would do it. He could command me to part the seas, and it would be done. Do you think I could deny Him if He commanded me to take a virgin and to save her from the world? I am nothing but a servant, and when He speaks I must obey.”
He seemed to deflate, as if he were weary from carrying some extraordinary weight. His face sagged with sadness. “I didn’t ask for this great calling, Esther. In fact, I tried to deny it. I begged God to let this calling pass. And for a time, He did. But the world has reached a point where God couldn’t let me delay any longer. He has called me once again and this time I must reply.
“It’s a heavy burden, Esther, a very heavy load. But you can help me. Do you see that? When you serve me, you’re serving God. And think of that great honor. Out of the entire world, the Lord has called you. You are a handmaiden to the Chosen. That is such a blessing, Esther. You get to serve the servant of the Lord.”
He fell silent, his statement of authority complete.
I was sitting on my bucket looking down at the tiny branch that was still struggling against the summer heat. I touched it with my fingers. Keep going, little guy! Don’t give up, I thought.
“You know there are more to come,” Mitchell said.
I lifted my eyes to look at him.
“I have been commanded to take seven additional wives. You are only the first. All of the others are young and malleable. Young girls that I can mold into proper servants. Believe me, I have learned that they can’t be so old that they will fight me. They can’t be so old that they will fight the will of God.”
*
It was true. I wasn’t the first girl Brian David Mitchell had decided he had to take. Neither was I his first attempt at having a second wife.
A few years before he kidnapped me, Mitchell had approached another woman about joining him and Barzee in their marriage. Of course, you don’t jump into a long-term commitment like polygamy without taking each other for a little spin to test things out, so he ended up moving in with the woman, an African-American named Kelly. But Barzee finally put a stop to it when Kelly insisted on having Mitchell to herself. (The idea of two women fighting over Mitchell is so absurd that I can barely comprehend it, but such was the insanity that I lived with every day.) Worse than the fact that Kelly wanted Mitchell for herself was her refusal to honor Barzee as the senior wife, or to recognize her in her exalted role as the “Mother of Zion,” whatever that meant. Angry at the lack of respect, Barzee had argued that Kelly was not chosen of God and demanded that Mitchell end the relationship. Her husband relented for a while but then snuck back to sleep with Kelly again. At this point, Barzee ripped Mitchell from the relationship. But after some pleading and praying and explaining, Mitchell convinced her once again that his relationship with Kelly had been sanctified by God. Willing to give it another go, and always wanting to please her husband, Barzee had agreed to go with Mitchell down to Kelly’s apartment so they could invite her to come and stay with them up at their campground in the mountains. But their intentions hit a snag when they found Kelly with another man. Mitchell was furious that she would betray him. Barzee was furious that the other woman would show such disrespect to her man. Spitting with anger, they withdrew the offer of marriage and left.
So ended the sordid Kelly affair.
But Mitchell hadn’t given up on finding another wife. Soon after, he received a new revelation. He was not to take one wife, but seven. And he was to focus on young girls, those who would be less likely to get involved with another man. And they needed to be pure. And from a Mormon home. Knowing what he wanted, but not having given any thought as to how he was going to get it, he simply found a young girl he fancied and followed her on the bus one day. Noticing that he was following her, the girl had waited until the last second at one of the bus stops, then suddenly jumped off, leaving him on the bus as it drove away.
After Mitchell had told me this story, I often thought of that girl. Good for you! I thought. You did the smart thing. I am glad you got away.
But part of me had to wonder why I had to be the one who was cabled to the trees.
*