My Not So Perfect Life

“OK.” I swallow. “Right. Um…sorry I mentioned the steps.”

I’m a bit shell-shocked, actually. I had such a firm vision of Demeter tripping down her beautiful stone steps in a designer coat, looking all smug and Demeter-ish, living the perfect princess life. But now that’s been supplanted by new images. Demeter lugging a pram up the steps. Demeter slipping and falling.

That kind of thing never occurred to me.

“It’s OK.” Demeter seems to calm down a little. “And I’m sorry I let you go insensitively. I truly am. I was in a real state that day, but that should not have stopped me treating you fairly and with respect. I would like to apologize…Cat?”

“Katie,” I say awkwardly. “Cat never really took.”

“Katie, then.” She holds out her muddy hand, and after a pause, I take it and we shake.

“Don’t tell Dad and Biddy,” I say abruptly. “Please.”



“Don’t tell them what?” Demeter’s eyes glitter at me. “That you pushed me into the mud? Don’t worry, I wasn’t intending to. This is fairly embarrassing for me too.”

“No, not that. Don’t tell them I got made redundant. They think…” I look at the ground. “They think I’m on sabbatical for six months.”

“What?”

“They got the wrong end of the stick, and I couldn’t tell them the truth. It was too—” I break off. “I just couldn’t.”

“So—what—they think you’ve been on sabbatical from Cooper Clemmow all this time?” Demeter seems incredulous.

“Yes.”

“And they believe that?”

“They think I’m…you know. Quite important at the company,” I practically whisper.

“I see.” Demeter digests this. “So what are you going to do when the six months are up?”

“I’ll get a job,” I say robustly. “Or if not…well, it’s my problem. I’ll sort it.”

“Right.” Demeter raises her eyebrows skeptically. “Well, good luck with that.” Then something seems to occur to her. “Hey. How do you know about my steps, anyway?”

“Oh. That.” I feel myself flushing. “Well, Flora told me where you live, and I…I happened to be in the area.”

“And you decided to go and look at my house,” says Demeter flatly. “And think to yourself, She lives in that house, she must be a rich bitch.”

“No! Well…maybe a bit…” I pause awkwardly. “It’s an amazing house. I saw it in Livingetc.”



“We hoped doing Livingetc might mean we could rent it out for photo shoots,” says Demeter, sounding matter-of-fact. “But nobody wanted it.”

“It’s still fantastic, though.”

“I look at it and I see mortgage payments,” says Demeter. “The kids love it, though. We could never move.”

I never thought about mortgage payments either. I thought Demeter lived such a gilded life, she didn’t have to worry about stuff like that.

“You always behave like your life is perfect,” I say abruptly.

“I put a good face on things,” Demeter says after a pause. “Doesn’t everyone? I’ve always thought—wait!” She interrupts herself with an almighty gasp. “Rewind. I knew I’d missed something. What was that you said, ‘lover’? I haven’t got a lover!”

I feel a spasm of anger. Really? She’s going to deny it, even now? I feel like we had a little entente cordiale going, and now she’s smashed it.

“Of course you have,” I say shortly. “Everyone knows.”

“Everyone knows what?”

“That you’re sleeping with Alex Astalis.”

“What?” Demeter peers at me. “What are you saying to me? What?”

For fuck’s sake.

“Everyone knows,” I reiterate. “That’s why he brought you in to Cooper Clemmow. I mean, it’s pretty obvious, Demeter. The way you two are with each other…always laughing and joking….”

“We’re old friends!” expostulates Demeter. “That’s all! My God—who told you this?”



“Just…people at the office.” I’m not going to get Flora into trouble. “But, I mean, it’s common knowledge. You haven’t hidden it very well.”

“There’s nothing to hide!” Demeter practically detonates. “This is just a ridiculous rumor! I mean, Alex? I love him dearly, but any woman who got involved with Alex Astalis would have to be insane.”

I can’t believe it. She won’t admit it, will she?

“Stop denying it when we all know it’s true!” I yell. “What’s Alex coming here for if he’s not your lover?”

Demeter looks startled. “What do you mean?”

“He wasn’t very subtle,” I say pointedly. “He didn’t exactly book in under the name ‘Mr. Smith.’ You called him as soon as your husband told you he was off to Brussels, didn’t you? Biddy said he rang up at two-thirty. Nice.”

“What?” Demeter gives every impression of being horrified. Can’t she give it a rest?

“Stop pretending!” I say furiously. “It’s really tedious!”

“I’m not pretending!” As Demeter’s voice rockets around the wood, she sounds on the edge of panic. “Are you telling me that Alex Astalis is on his way here? Is this true?”

She’s so agitated, I pause in my thoughts. Whatever else is true, she seems genuinely shocked at this news.

“Well…yes. He’s staying in the farmhouse. Arriving this morning.” I glance at my watch. “It’s nearly eleven. He might even be here by now.”

Demeter doesn’t reply. For a moment I think she might not have heard. But then, three seconds later, she sinks down into the swamp, as though her legs won’t hold her anymore.

“He’s firing me,” she whispers.



“What?” I’m astounded, almost wanting to laugh at the idea. “No.”

“Yes.” Her face is ashen and she’s staring blindly ahead. “Alex has come here to see me, obviously.” She counts off on her fingers, as though working out a logic problem. “If he wanted a meeting, he’d have made contact. He hasn’t. So he wants to take me by surprise. There’s only one reason for that: He’s letting me go. Asking me to resign. However he does it.”

“But…” I’m so shocked, I find myself sitting down in the swamp too. “But why would they fire you? You’re the boss! You’re the genius! You’re the whole thing.”

Demeter gives a weird little laugh and turns to face me. “You haven’t been in touch with anyone from work, have you?”

“Not really,” I say uncomfortably. “I knew things were going a bit wrong….”

“Well. They went a lot wrong. And I don’t even understand how. I don’t understand…”

Demeter slowly bends her head to her knees. Her damp hair falls forward, off her neck, and I see her gray roots showing at the base of her skull. The sight makes her seem suddenly vulnerable once more. It’s the side she’s trying to keep from the world—like that moment with Carlo. And as I watch her, curled up like a hiding animal, I feel a weird, unfamiliar feeling. Like I want to pat her back reassuringly.

“Look,” I venture. “It might not be what you think. Maybe he’s come here on holiday. He might have seen the brochure on your desk, decided to book himself a little break….”

Demeter raises her head. “Do you really think so?”

I can see hope battling with despair on her mud-splattered face. “Well, it’s possible. After all, the brochure is really good….” I risk a little wink at Demeter, and she laughs, her tension briefly lifting.



“It is really good. I stand by everything I said before: You’ve got talent, Katie. The truth is, I should never have let you go. I should have got rid of that good-for-nothing Flora instead. You were always more proactive, more lively—” Her face jolts with realization. “Wait. It was you!” She jabs a finger. “You came up with the cow-welfare idea, didn’t you? It’s the basis of the whole rebrand.”

“Oh. Well, yes. It was me.”

Hope is flowering in my chest. Maybe Demeter…maybe she’ll…

“I’d love to help you with your career,” says Demeter, as though reading my mind. “Especially now I know who you really are. But there won’t be much chance of that if I lose my job—” She interrupts herself, her eyes suddenly sharp. “Oh my God, I have it. Katie, you find out for me. You find out.”

“What?” I gape at her.

“Go and talk to Alex as soon as he arrives. Make conversation. Find out if he’s here to let me go. You can do it, I know you can.”

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