My Killer Vacation

Those would be mine.

I’m literally trying to twist the metal button free of its hole.

I draw my hands back like they’ve touched a hot stove. Which isn’t so far off considering the heat radiating from his hard stomach. His mouth. Eyes. All of him. I’ve never experienced this. Irritation and lust at the same time. It’s itchy. It’s consuming—and most definitely misplaced. “Are you implying that I’m sending mixed signals? Because you’re standing here asking me to quit offering you…physical pleasure—”

“Sex, Taylor. It’s called sex.”

“And yet, you stole my hookup panties and almost kissed me this morning. Who is the one sending mixed messages?” His jaw grinds so dramatically, I can hear it creaking, but he says nothing. “Going to bed with you would be a disaster. You have the emotional availability of a banana.”

“There it is. ‘Emotional availability.’” His expression shifts to smug satisfaction. “You see? You’re lying to yourself about wanting a hard, sweaty roll in the hay. You are a relationship girl. You are a spring wedding bridezilla waiting to happen.”

My gasp echoes down the beach.

I shove at his chest, but I’m the one who ends up stumbling backwards, due to him being built like a Mack truck. He ends up steadying me by the elbow. “Take back the bridezilla part.”

“The rest of it is true, though?”

“I never lied about wanting to settle down. There’s no shame in wanting a husband and a family and matching shirts at Disneyworld. If you remember correctly, I said I wanted the hard, sweaty rolls in the hay, as well. These things shouldn’t have to be mutually exclusive.”

Lord, the man appears to be chewing on burning plastic. “Maybe they’re not mutually exclusive. But there is nothing about you that even…hints to a man that you’d like to be manhandled. Not remotely.”

My interest is piqued. I hate giving him the satisfaction of wanting to know more, but my gut tells me he’s on to something. Something I might not want to know, but could be valuable insight, nonetheless. “What does that mean?”

“It means you shocked the hell out of me and I’m a trained detective. You’re not giving off the…I don’t know. Wildcat vibe?” Slowly, he begins to circle me. “When I saw you, my first thought was, she’s cute as a button. I’ve since amended that evaluation. A lot. But the men you’re hunting for—”

“Hunting,” I snort.

“If they’re in the marriage market, they’re only half as smart as me. At best. You’re expecting too much from them. All they see is the wholesome girl next door, like I did.”

“You’re saying I need different energy if I want to find a gentleman in the streets who also happens to be a freak in the sheets. Do I have that right?”

Having completed his circle, he comes to a stop in front of me, opening his mouth and closing it, as if the conversation is getting away from him. “I’m saying you’re marriage material. I’m saying you are a girl who demands respect…”

“And none of the disrespect I’m looking for.” Half in a daze, I turn and sort of float down the beach, considering the conversation from all angles. Is Myles right? Am I expecting too much from the men out there? How would they know I have a unique sexual appetite when I show up to my dates in a matching sweater set and sensible nude flats? “I’ve never gotten what I want in bed, not only because I don’t ask for it, but because the men who I choose to date…have resigned themselves to the predictable married life.”

“There’s nothing wrong with predictable. You should have predictable.”

“Oh.” Startled, I press a hand to my chest. “Are you still here?”

A dangerous light flashes in his eyes. “Yeah.” Spoken through his teeth. “I’m still here.”

“Shouldn’t you go evaluate the possible murder weapon? I assume you’ll bring it to the Barnstable police once you’ve cataloged—”

“We’re not finished with the other conversation.”

“No, I think we are. You’ve given me a lot of food for thought.”

“You misinterpreted the food.” He jabs the air with a long, blunt index finger. “I gave you apples and you took oranges.”

I stop walking and face him, doing my utmost not to notice the way his long hair blows around him in the wind, making him resemble a Scottish highlander on his way back from battle or something. “How did I misinterpret? You’re telling me I’m too wholesome to attract men who will…be aggressive with me—”

“Taylor.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, a vein ticking in his temple. “Aggressive is the wrong goddamn word. I would kill a man for being aggressive with you.” He says something else under his breath that I can’t hear, but it sounds like, I’d kill him no matter what. Or I need to work on my putt. I can’t be sure.

“I’ve been going about dating all wrong. I’m giving off the cherished wife vibe and none of the sex kitten vibe. It’s all stuffed down under the surface. Like you said, men need things spelled out in thick red Sharpie. Meanwhile I’ve been using a pencil. Of course I’m drawing in all the Boring Bobs.” Mentally, I’m already making tweaks to my dating profile. I’m really on to something here. Reluctantly grateful for his input, I smile up at the bounty hunter. “Forget the hookup panties, I need a whole hookup outfit.”

Myles stares at the spot I vacated long after I keep walking, hands partially raised like he’s trying to reason with a ghost. Why is his face so red?

I’m halfway up the stairs leading from the beach up to the rental house when Myles catches up with me. “I’m not sure I like what I’ve unleashed here,” he grunts, falling into step beside me, though his legs are so long, he has to take two stairs at a time. “This is why I usually keep my mouth shut.”

“Do you?” I bite my lip to keep from laughing. “I hadn’t noticed that trait.”

“It’s your fault,” he gripes, looking over at me. “Stealing guest books. Finding evidence. Forcing me to show up and see you.”