Feral exhaled and said to Lazlo, “You can’t expect her to have normal feelings. It’s just how she is.”
A look suspiciously like hurt—a normal feeling if ever there was one—flashed across Ruby’s face. Sparrow spoke up before she could. “Or,” she told Feral wearily, “you’re just spectacularly bad at noticing feelings.” She knew as much from her own experience, when she’d fancied herself in love with him. Before he or anyone else could answer, she moved back to the topic at hand. “We can’t keep these ghosts prisoner forever. For now, we have to, while we think what to do. But we won’t move them.” She spoke with quiet authority. “It wouldn’t do to shuffle them out of sight just so their suffering doesn’t trouble us. We can’t forget about them. They’re people.”
Sarai said, “She’s right. I could never keep all these souls enslaved just for my own freedom.”
“Their freedom isn’t in your hands,” said Lazlo, wanting to alleviate the burden of her guilt. “It’s in Minya’s, and you know if she were to wake, the last thing she would do is set them free.”
“I know,” Sarai said, feeling helpless. “There’s got to be something we haven’t thought of. A way of reaching her.”
Her current profound relief notwithstanding, and no matter what her feelings for Minya in the worst or best of times, Sarai couldn’t bear the thought of keeping her asleep forever like some cursed girl in a fairy tale. But what was the alternative? The helplessness was consuming. Every attempt she’d made to reason with her, or to appeal to her, had failed. If there was some way to reach Minya, she had no idea what it was.
But .. .
A small cluster of words circled back to her from the flow of conversation. They were Ruby’s, and had been spoken carelessly: Sarai can give her nice dreams now and then.
Sarai didn’t give nice dreams. She was the Muse of Nightmares. Minya had made her so. From the moment her gift awakened—the moment Minya had made her stop stifling it—the little girl had taken charge, and determined how she used it and who she became. Minya had created her, and…the Carnage had created Minya.
Who might they have been, both of them, if they’d grown up in other times? In what service might Minya have used her gift, and in what manner Sarai? The one controlled souls, the other dreams. What power, between the two of them.
Sarai had wished, that morning, for her mother’s gift, that she might unwork Minya’s hate. Well, she couldn’t. Her gift was dreams. Not specifically nightmares—that was Minya’s doing. Sarai’s gift was dreams. How might she use it, if she were making herself from scratch?
If, indeed, she even still had it, now that she was dead.
She took a steadying breath and looked from Lazlo to Sparrow to Feral to Ruby before turning to Minya. Her little face was relaxed in sleep, eyelashes dusky on her cheeks.
What was going on in her mind? What did Minya dream of? Sarai didn’t know. She’d never looked. Minya had forbidden it when they were still little children. All of a sudden it was very clear: She had to find out. She had to go in, and talk to her there. If she could, if she still had her gift.
She said to the others, “Let’s move her to her bed and make her comfortable.” She took a deep breath. “At nightfall, if my moths come, I’m going into her dreams.”
Chapter 18
Gray
Nightfall was still some hours away, and those hours had to be spent. Having determined a course of action, Sarai was antsy and uncertain, a pendulum swinging between fear and dread: the one, that her gift wouldn’t manifest, the other that it would. What was she more afraid of? Violating Minya’s innermost sanctuary, or being unable to, and having to dredge up yet another wild hope?
They settled Minya in her bed. Any of them might have carried her—she weighed nothing at all—but Lazlo was the one to pick her up, and the whole time he held her, he kept thinking with amazement, This is my sister.
Her rooms, which had been Skathis’s, weren’t like the other chambers. All those consisted of a bedroom, bath, dressing room, and sitting room. But here was a proper palace, occupying the whole of the seraph’s right shoulder. There was a fountain—dry now—with mesarthium lily pads you could cross like stepping-stones. A sunken seating area was filled with velvet cushions, and great columns in the form of seraphim stood in a circle, their raised wings supporting a high, elegant dome. A sweeping staircase led to a mezzanine. From there, a long hall, lined on one side by filigree windows like enormous panels of metal lace, led to a grand bedroom, with, at its center, a bed that made even Isagol’s seem modest. Lazlo laid Minya down on it. She looked, in its waves of blue silk, like a matchstick bobbing in an ocean.
“We should keep watch,” said Sparrow, “in case she stirs.”
They all agreed. Sparrow took the first watch, and pulled up a chair by the bedside, with the green glass bottle close at hand in case she needed to dispense a drop between Minya’s lips.
“Is she saying something?” asked Ruby, bending close.
They all looked. Indeed, her lips seemed to be moving, though she made no sound. And if there were words in the movements, they couldn’t make them out. It gave them a chill, though, to wonder what conversation she might be having in her dreams.
They were hungry. None of them had partaken with particular relish of the morning loaf. So they went to the kitchen, having to squeeze, unnerved, between the blank, frozen Ellens, and there they began to discover the extent of their helplessness.
The loaf was but a crust, and they didn’t know how to make another. Bread might as well have been alchemy, for all that they knew what to do. There were always plums and kimril, though, so they boiled some tubers and mashed them, and stirred in plum jam for flavor, and then they carried the whole pot to Minya’s room with an extra spoon for Sparrow. They ate it feeling a little proud of themselves, and idiotic for feeling proud, all reaching out with their spoons, jousting in the bowl like children. The clink of metal mingled with laughs and huffs of mock outrage as someone stole a bite or parried a thrust, or even despooned an opponent.
And in the course of things, in the kitchen and then by Minya’s bedside, they grew comfortable with the stranger who, impossibly, was kin. They wanted to know how Sarai had met him, and what sort of dreams she’d given him. “I didn’t,” she confessed, her cheeks warming. “I liked them just how they were. I snuck into them like a stowaway.”
She described “Dreamer’s Weep”—the city as Lazlo imagined it: the children in their feather cloaks, the grannies riding saddled cats, the wingsmiths in the marketplace, even the centaur and his lady, all of whom she liked to think of as real people living out their days. By the end of it—and she didn’t tell everything, not by a long shot—they all wanted it to be real, so they could go there, too, and live there, and say good morning to all those folk and creatures.
And they wanted to know about Lazlo, of course. They peppered him with questions, and he did his best to describe what his life had been like before Eril-Fane rode into it.
“Are you telling me it was your job to read books?” Feral asked with as much or more yearning than Ruby had earlier shown for cake.
“Not to read them, unfortunately,” answered Lazlo. “That was for the scholars. I read in my spare moments, and by staying up too late.”
All of which sounded like paradise to Feral. “How many books are there?” he asked hungrily.
“Too many to count. Thousands on every subject. History, astronomy, alchemy—”
“Thousands of books on every subject?” repeated Feral, looking dazed and skeptical.
“Poor Feral can’t picture it,” Sarai said gently. “He’s only ever seen one book, and he can’t read it.”