We’re so happy together.
He did everything right. He got a prenup to protect me, he tried to be civil while Edward was just attacking him non-stop. What was he supposed to do? Of course he was going to fight back eventually.
I drop my head into my hands.
I’m so confused.
I’m going to have to think about this. I don’t want to just push Spencer’s needs aside because my family doesn’t want to be embarrassed by the tabloids. It’s what he does from here on in that matters to me. I don’t care about his past, I want his future.
I finish my wine and head upstairs to find Spencer in the shower. He’s washing himself when he turns to me and smiles sexily. He has no idea of the turmoil I’m in.
“You getting in?” he asks.
I give him a lopsided smile, undress, and get in under the hot water. His big arms come around me and he holds me tight.
“I love you.” I smile up at him.
“I know you do, angel.” His mouth takes mine, and his tongue slowly slides through my lips.
“I don’t want to disappoint you, Spence,” I whisper.
“Baby, you could never truly disappoint me. I know where they’re coming from, and to be honest, I would give anything to have a father who loves me as much as your father loves you. It’s a blessing.”
My eyes fill with tears, My poor man.
My heart breaks for him and the pain he has been through at the hands of his so-called father.
We kiss again, and it’s long and deep and tender and I feel my arousal burn deep inside me. His erection is up against my stomach. He motions to lift me, but I stop him.
“Spence, I can’t.”
“What?”
“I have my period.”
His face falls and he drops my feet back to the floor. “Oh.” He frowns.
I smile softly up at him as I push the hair back from his face. “I thought you couldn’t wait for my period to come. Remember, you thought your life was over last week.”
He chuckles. “Hmm.” He holds my face and kisses me again. “After my initial freak out, I kind of liked the idea of having my baby inside of you.”
My heart stops, and my eyes search his. This is it, everything I ever wanted is here with me.
The water runs down over his face. I’ve never seen a more beautiful man.
“I’ll give you a baby one day,” I whisper.
He smiles. “Promise?”
I nod and wrap my arms around him tight. Oh, this feeling of closeness between us is so strong.
It’s a tangible force...all encompassing. We hold each other close for an extended time.
His hand eventually slides down and grabs my behind. “Is it one day today?” he asks, his playful tone returning.
I pull back and frown. “That depends on which one day you’re meaning.”
“The one day when you give me anal?”
I laugh out loud. “You idiot.” I flick water at him. “This is a romantic moment and you’re wrecking it.”
His eyes blaze with mischief and he pins me to the wall. “I’m deadly serious. We need to fuck, angel. You have three choices of where you get it.”
He bites my neck and I laugh as he ravages me. “Spencer Jones, you are a sex maniac.”
He growls, causing goose bumps to scatter up my spine. “But I’m all yours.”
*
I punch the code into the security gate.
1105
The large metal gates slowly open and I feel my nerves rise. The boys are in the car behind me. I’m driving Spencer’s car today. I wanted to drive myself to Nottingham this time.
Don’t ask me why, because I don’t even know what significance me driving myself here even has.
But it matters somehow.
Spencer doesn’t know I’m here. I dropped him off at work this morning and told him I would pick him up. He didn’t ask questions as to why I wanted his car but that’s Spencer for you. He’s supportive of my every decision, even if he doesn’t know the reason behind it.
I didn’t sleep last night. I watched the beautiful man beside me instead, going over his childhood and the way he suffered at his father’s lack of conviction.
The way he cares for me, the way he makes me feel, the way he’s tenderly teaching me about myself and my body…
I love him.
And sometime in the middle of the night, I had an epiphany.
I will never lack conviction in my love for him. I will never put him second… not even for my family.
I’m here to move my stuff out. I’m moving in with Spencer today, and if they don’t like it, they can lump it.
I will not be held responsible for their fears.
Because I have none.
He is my soul mate. He is the man I’ve been waiting for, and I won’t cower to their demands. Not for anything.
I crawl up the driveway and park outside the front of my house. I have no idea what I’m going to take, but I just know I had to come home to make it final.
*
Three hours later and I’m sitting on the grass of the manicured garden in the family graveyard of my father’s estate. I stare at the tombstone.
I’m with my mother and a feeling of deep sadness fills me. I wish she could meet Spencer. I wish she were here to see how happy he makes me.
I’ve packed all of my things and loaded them into the back of the cars. I know my father is home, but he hasn’t been down to see me. He knows.
“He’s got blonde hair, Mum, and blue eyes,” I whisper through a lump in my throat. “He’s tall and handsome, and if you could see the way he looks at me, you would understand.” Tears roll down my face. “I love him.”
I just want to hear her voice, just one more time.
I want her to tell me that’s it’s okay—that she understands why I’m doing this.
But she can’t. She never will.
She’s gone.
Sometimes the pain of her not being here is too much.
It’s like I have to fight for my next breath.
How am I supposed to live without her?
I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I jump in fright. “Are you all right, darling?” my father asks.
I stand, and I wrap my arms around him. “Not really,” I whisper against his shoulder. “I miss her, Dad.”
“I miss her, too.”
“I need her to tell me that this is okay.” I lift my chin and his eyes search mine. “Because I’m moving in with him, Dad. I love him and I’m not waiting.”
His face falls. “But you said—”
“I know what I said,” I cut him off. “But I’ve thought about it.”
“He talked you out of it, you mean.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Not at all. He doesn’t even know I’m here. It’s time for me to grow up and make my own decisions, Dad.”
His eyes fall to the ground.
“I love Spencer. In time, you will come to love Spencer, too, because he’s a wonderful man.”
“Charlotte,” he whispers. “I can’t support this relationship.”
“Then you won’t see me.”
His face falls. “Don’t say that.”
“Remember when you fell in love with Mum and the whole world was against you… but you knew it was right?”
He frowns.
“I know this is right. In my heart of hearts, I know this is right.”
“Charlotte, you are so young and na?ve. What’s the rush, darling?”
“Why would I wait?” I whisper. “Why wait when he makes me happier than I’ve ever been?”
Dad drops his head.
“I’m moving in with him today. My things are already packed, and I would like you to come and visit me.”
He stays silent.
I scowl and swallow with regret. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. “I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too,” he whispers.
“Will you come and visit me?”
He stares at me blankly. “No.”
I blink as my vision becomes blurred.
“I cannot accept this relationship if you move in with him. I’ve told you that already.”
I frown and step back from him, shocked, but not surprised by his coldness. “This is goodbye then.”
He stares at me, his face blank and emotionless. I wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t.
I can’t stand this, I need to get away.
I turn away with tears streaming down my face. I walk as fast as I can and get into my car, wasting no time in pulling out of the driveway.
I watch the property disappear in the rearview mirror, feeling the pain in my chest.
I thought he loved me more than that.
*