“She didn’t kill him. She said she got there and she couldn’t. That’s why she’s so off, so crazy. Not because she killed him. Because she thinks she killed me again by not doing what your father wants her to.”
There’s a long pause. “Why did my father take the hit out? Maybe I can fix it.”
“I told him Adam would destroy him.”
“He’s going to—wait. You told my father that. Was it true?”
“No.”
He swears, and I flinch and cover my head as my lamp smashes against the wall. “You tricked him into sending Fia out on a hit? What is wrong with you? Do you know how long I’ve worked to get her this stable, and you send her out to kill someone? Why? What on earth could possibly justify risking your sister? I should be asking you if you care about her.”
“I didn’t think they’d send her!” I shout. “Why would they send her? Why would they risk her like that?”
“What did you think would happen when you told my father that someone was going to destroy him? Of course he’d risk her. You’re really something, Annie. All these years Fia thought she was a killer. But she’s only ever fought to protect you. And here you are, ordering hits.”
“It wasn’t like that,” I whisper. “It was bigger than us. It is bigger than us. I wasn’t doing it for me. Or even for Fia. I was doing it so Fia wouldn’t happen to a thousand other girls.”
“Your sister sacrificed everything for you. Glad to know you’re looking out for a thousand strangers instead of her. Well done.”
I swallow hard. “I saw Adam again. I don’t know where he was. But I know who he was with. Does the name Lerner mean anything to you?”
He laughs. It’s harsh and low and it sounds like Fia’s and I ache and shatter and break on the inside. He’s right. I’ve failed her in so many ways, too many ways to ever atone for.
I hear the couch creak as he stands. “Well, that’s just brilliant. Lerner has Fia. Do you want to tell my father, or should I?”
“You can’t tell him about Adam. He’ll kill me.”
“I don’t really care one way or the other what happens to you. But you dying would destroy Fia, so I’ll do whatever I can to cover up your mess. Because I care about your sister.”
I hang my head and cry. He leaves without a word.
I see Fia that night. I don’t know if it’s a dream or a vision, but she’s alone, and she’s scared, and she’s crying.
But she isn’t scared for herself.
She’s scared that something will happen to me because she got kidnapped.
In the morning when I wake up again on the couch I immediately know I am not alone. I can smell tea, my favorite tea, and the tiny clink of a spoon stirring.
“Good morning, Annabelle.”
Mr. Keane. Here. In my room. If I were going to die, would I have seen it? I can’t die. I have to save Fia.
“James informed me of the unfortunate development with your sister. I’m very disappointed.”
“Do you know where she is? Can you find her?” I sit up. I want to smooth my hair, to pull the blanket over myself so he can’t see my bare arms, but I resist.
“I have everyone working on it. I’ll be very upset if we lose Sofia. And I expect you’ll be pushing yourself to see something helpful.”
“Of course.”
“Very good. Because without Sofia, there really isn’t a place for you here.”
He doesn’t say if there’s not a place for me here, there’s not a place for me anywhere. He doesn’t have to. I swallow. I hope he doesn’t see it.
I hear him stand, and almost sigh in relief because I know where he is now in relation to me, and it means he’s leaving.
“There is another matter. The matter of Adam Denting.”
James, James, how could you? “Yes?”
“I’ve heard some interesting things about him since he was killed. Did you know he was a neurologist? Studied brain abnormalities in women. Something of a prodigy. Very interesting. And I’ve been thinking about what you saw, his name swallowing mine. I’m curious: How can a girl who has been blind since age four understand a vision that revolves around words?”
I stutter, grasping desperately for something, anything to explain this. Fia would know. She’d have a lie. She’d twist and slide and slip through this. She’d never have messed up this bad in the first place.
I am lost.
His voice is close now, too close, and I sink back against the couch, wishing I could disappear into it. “If you ever try to manipulate me again, dear girl, I can assure you that your death will not be nearly so pleasant and fast as the last one you saw, and I will personally make certain it happens.”
No footsteps, he has no footsteps, but I hear the door open with a click and a whisper. “If I were you, I’d pray for Sofia’s swift return.”
ANNIE
Eighteen Months Ago