Pulling in the driveway, I park the car, whip off my sunglasses and toss them in the passenger seat. I look at the large two-story house tucked away behind a bounty of trees that my mother shares with Jack. I’m suddenly thankful that this isn’t my childhood home. I always thought it would have been cool to visit my mother with my kids at the place I grew up in—but now it’s a relief not to have to see that house again, since my childhood was a lie.
Turning off the ignition, I wipe those thoughts from my mind and get out of the car. I jam my hands into my pockets and pace the shadows of the sidewalk in front of the house. My stomach is in knots. I’m not sure I can do this. What can she say to take any of the pain away? Nothing can make me feel any better. I notice a strange car in the driveway and wonder if Brigitte got a new one or if someone is visiting. Fuck.
I stall as long as I can, pondering leaving in case someone is here, but I take a deep breath and go for it, hoping it’s just Bridgette’s new car. I walk slowly along the cobblestone path that leads to the back entrance, before slipping in through the door. The gleaming black-and-white marble floor of the rear entrance blinds me and I pause a moment to reconsider having this conversation with my mother. I’m still furious despite my heart pounding with fear, but I know I have to do this.
The kitchen smells of freshly brewed coffee and I look around for our housekeeper, Brigitte. Since she’s been with our family for years, I wonder if she knows. The room is empty, though; she doesn’t seem to be around, so I make my way through the house. The stab of irritation I’m already feeling quickly turns to trepidation when I hear Ivy’s voice—she’s here talking to my mother. The sadness in her tone makes me stop in my tracks. As if in slow motion, I come to a stop just outside the family room and listen.
My mother’s voice is raspy as she speaks. “You did what you had to—Xander will forgive you. I know he’ll understand.”
“I hope so. But he looked so hurt and betrayed. It killed me to see him like that.”
“Ivy, Xander is strong and perceptive. It’s easy to see through Damon’s manipulative ways and I’m sure he did.”
“God, I feel so dumb. How did I never see that side of him until recently? If I had I would have never been with him. Never.” Ivy starts to cry and her words only serve to strengthen not only my fury but also my fear.
It sounds like my mother’s comforting her. Then Ivy continues. “Damon told me after he received the call that his father passed that Josh’s will had a clause in it that Damon had to be married to collect his inheritance. That’s why he insisted we get married so quickly. I thought it was money from my performance he wanted. He said he only needed us to stay married for six months, enough time to produce an album. But really he knew his father didn’t have much time and he wanted to be sure he got what he thought he’d earned.”
“Oh, Ivy, no one could have known, darling,” my mother says amid sobs.
Ivy’s voice is low and I can’t make out what she says.
“You don’t know how it hurts me that you had to go through that,” my mother tells her.
“Charlotte, I’m so sorry to come over like this. I just didn’t know what to do. Xander won’t answer my calls. I can’t believe Damon made his father’s will public. I heard him on the phone with his attorney, completely shocked that Xander was in the will and the marriage clause wasn’t. I guess Josh changed his will, or Damon was told incorrect information. I don’t know. But as soon as he was behind the microphone making that announcement about the will, I knew I had to be with Xander. But now that I’m here I’m afraid he won’t forgive me.”
With my mother’s sobs weighing me down and Ivy sounding so emotional, I can’t stand to stay hidden listening any longer. I swing around the corner, almost manic. My mother turns toward me and I meet her gaze. Her face is full of concern and love, whereas I know mine must be a picture of confusion. She rushes over to me as I stand in a daze.
“Xander!” She pulls me in for a tight embrace. Then she pulls away and clutches my face in her trembling hands. “Xander.” She begins weeping again.
I shift on my feet, not sure what to ask. Not sure I want to know anything. I take a step back and nearly collide with the doorframe. The moment is awkward, and for the first time in my life I don’t know what to say to my mother.
Ivy clears her throat. “I’m going to leave you two alone. Thanks for talking to me, Charlotte.” I meet her gaze and her sad eyes, but I can’t talk to her now. I wish I could think of a way to let her know I know what she did and why she did it—I hope she understands I’m telling her I get it.
“Ivy, don’t go yet,” my mother manages, but I see Ivy turn and leave the room, then hear the click of the door. My mother is in such a state that her tears won’t stop. She’s sobbing so hard that her breathing is out of control.
“Take it easy, Mom,” I whisper.