I nod and Nix and Garrett tuck their apprehension aside. There is nothing diva-like in her request. I know she’ll mix with us well. She’s the same girl she always was.
“We have ten days. It’s a piece of cake,” Garrett says confidently.
Her eyes find mine. “Look, Xander, we can give it a shot. If it doesn’t work out, what are either of us out?”
What can I say? She’s right—we have nothing to lose and everything to gain. We spend the next hour mapping out a strategy and discussing playlists. Changing from a male to a female lead means some minor lyrics changes. We decide I’ll go through those songs while the band rehearses the others.
“Anyone hungry?” Garrett asks.
“I wouldn’t mind something to eat,” Nix chimes in.
“I could throw together my famous Enchilada Bake,” Garrett says enthusiastically.
“What the hell is that?” I ask.
“You’ve had it before—a can of black beans, a jar of enchilada sauce, and a tube of biscuits.”
“How about we order pizza?” I counter and look over at Ivy. “You in?”
“I can’t. I’m sorry. I actually have to get going. Logan’s in town for the night and I told him I’d meet him for dinner, but I’ll see you all tomorrow. And thanks again.” She walks over to Nix and Garrett and hugs each of them in turn.
She turns toward me and pauses.
“I’ll walk you out.” Standing near the entryway, I wait for her. She walks nervously my way. When she reaches me I automatically press my hand to the small of her back to guide her to the front door. When I realize where my hand is, I pull away, but I swear I see her shiver.
She reaches for the doorknob and my hand covers hers. I leave it there as I ask, “Logan—he joined the service?”
“Yes, he’s a marine. He joined up right after high school, actually.”
“Hmm . . . I thought he was going to Washington State?”
She looks up at me. “He was, but his parents divorced and money was an issue, so he decided to enlist. He’s a sergeant now and stationed at Fort Bragg. He has a wife and three kids. He’s really happy.”
“That’s great. Tell him I said hi.”
“I will.”
She smiles that forced smile at me that I hate and I step just a little closer. My body burns with a need to see the real one, and I allow the fire to consume me. In a moment of weakness, I pull her snug to me. Her breath heats my skin and with my lips just barely brushing hers, I ask, “Ivy, are you sure about this?”
Silence hangs between us until she boldly steps back. Her voice is low and raspy, but her eyes are clear, focused, and still on mine. Her intentions are not the least bit questionable as she answers, “Yes. I’m sure. The past is the past, Xander. Let’s leave it there. We can move forward and do this.”
I stare at her, trying to read her for a different sign, but it’s not there, so I decide to do as she asks—leave the past behind. When her eyes break away from mine, she again reaches for the doorknob.
“Let me,” I say, motioning toward the door with my hand as she moves hers away. I pull the door open and she walks out.
“Good night, Xander,” she calls and looks back at me. “Thank you.”
“Good night, Ivy,” I respond and with a strong sigh I close the door—frustrated, confused, and maybe just a little optimistic.
? ? ?
My face is flecked with two-day-old stubble and my thick brown hair is a mess. I slept like shit. I have a lot on my mind and I had a hard time getting started this morning . . . Maybe I was just procrastinating while trying to figure everything out. There’s a battle going on in my head—Why is she really doing this? I understand she has limitations due to her contract but is there more to it? Did she feel what I felt the minute I saw her again—that what we had so long ago was still there? She could have joined up with any band, so why this one? Did she do it for me? Because I’m not sure I buy the win/win explanation.