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Our breakup is permanently etched in my mind—it’s something that, although done, was left unfinished. What matters the most is that she didn’t stay in LA for college. She got away from her mother’s influence and didn’t go into acting. She ended up right where she belongs—in the music industry. I felt at peace with what I did when her career started to take off. I was even okay with the fact that somewhere along the way she traded the alt-rock edge for the pop culture route—following in the path of Britney Spears instead of Alanis Morissette. However, whenever I watched her perform I did notice she seemed uncomfortable, unsure, and uneasy with the show she was putting on. Perhaps if she had taken the other route her comfort level would have been there, but who knows? I have to admit, though, that Damon Wolf did help create Ivy Taylor the vocalist, as the world knows her today. She may not have been at the top of the charts but she certainly wasn’t at the bottom. She was made for the spotlight—and I really want to know why she stopped performing.
The resort club is filled with staffers, managers, agents, musicians, and reporters sipping their drinks and talking—all waiting to hear the news from the label about the fate of Next Records. I’m on my second Jack and Coke when I notice Ivy enter the room. Damon surprisingly isn’t by her side. Gorgeous and alone—she looks incredible. At five seven, she is perfectly proportioned from head to toe. She joins a group of people on the dance floor. Her pin-straight hair moves across her bare shoulders as she sways among the guests. Her short black dress shimmers under the lights and accentuates her curves in the best possible way. It’s tight—longer in the back than the front, showing an edge only she could pull off. And my rebel girl has turned in her combat boots for thigh highs—flashing a bit of leg that is sexy as hell, but maybe just a little too much skin. No matter what she wears, I’ve never been able to take my eyes off her. And now, my mind can’t turn off how I once felt about her. But the large diamond on the fourth finger of her left hand signals a reminder that she’s not mine anymore.
I make my way around the room, networking, talking about the band, but somehow I never lose track of where she is. She catches my gaze at one point, but I’m unsure what she’s thinking. I wonder if what I did killed what she once felt for me. Just seeing her has made me want her all the more, and I know I have to talk to her. When I’m standing next to Amy and the guys, I notice Jane pat her on the shoulder. They move off the dance floor and close enough to where I’m standing that I can just barely hear their conversation. I can’t help but eavesdrop.
“It’s so good to see you. I’ve heard nothing but great things about that successful whirlwind tour of yours!” Ivy tells Jane. Hearing her voice puts a smile on my face. Her tone is still soft, but she seems more confident. It makes me feel somewhat proud.
“Well, you could be the next major tour to hit the road, but I heard you and Damon are actually thinking of starting a family,” Jane responds.
Hearing those words cripples me.
I turn to Amy. “I’ll be right back.”
“Everything okay?” she asks.
My feet are already moving. I have to get away. I don’t want to hear Ivy’s response. I dart outside, needing some air. I wonder if she’s already expecting a baby. Fuck. His baby. My head spins. I haven’t seen her in so long and now everything I’ve pushed away, locked away, is back. So many emotions I never wanted to feel again. When I thought we’d be together, there was a life I envisioned I’d have with her. I’ve never thought about that life with anyone else since then. I haven’t let myself—I let her go and my dreams went with her.
Wrenching my mind from the past, I reenter the room and look around at everyone shooting the shit, dancing, and flirting. I look for Ivy, but Amy finds me first.
“How about a drink?” she asks, unfazed as to where I’ve been.
“Sure,” I answer and lead her to the bar—I need another drink.
Soon I’m leaning against the bar facing the crowd and Amy is sitting on the stool next to me. Ellie is on the other side of her, talking to Garrett.