Chapter 17
Brody
Sliding a beer across the bar to a customer, I glance toward the door for what may be the hundredth time in the last hour to see if Alyssa walks through.
Nothing.
So I grab the twenty-dollar bill the dude slides across to me and make change. I nod as he puts a few ones in my tip jar, and glance back at the door again.
I’m on edge… dying to see Alyssa. True to her word, she kept in touch with me today via text messages, which forced me to figure out the fancy phone Casey bought me. I wasn’t sure how often she would contact me, but she actually settled into a routine of sending me a funny text at the top of every hour.
Her first one said, Houston, we have lift off, with no sightings of strange aliens.
I stared at the text for a moment, wanting to write something back that was witty and flirty, but I’m Brody Markham… not a lot of that stuff going on with me. So I merely responded, Good news. Keep the updates coming.
She gave me a response back that I had no clue what it meant.
:)
I’ll need to ask her about that later.
Thereafter, I got another funny text every hour, and it eased my worry tremendously.
Looking back at the door again, I mentally chastise myself for this longing I seem to have for her. While I like Alyssa a lot, I don’t want that type of connection… a dependency. I want to keep it casual, because I’m done with giving my heart to someone. Not sure I even have one left, not after Stacy shredded it and prison blackened my soul.
“Who are you expecting to come walking through that door?” I hear from behind me.
Turning, I see Hunter walking up to the cash register to calculate the day’s take.
“What do you mean?”
Hunter gives me a quick glance over his shoulder, and then turns his attention back to the money. “You keep looking at the door. Worried Stacy is going to come by?”
“No,” I say distractedly, because I’m not. I’m pretty convinced she got the message to stay the f*ck away from me.
“Then who?” he asks genially, while silently counting out the stack of twenties in his hand.
“No one,” I tell him, and then walk down the bar to take care of a customer.
I busy myself for another half hour while the evening crowd starts filtering in, and Hunter helps me tend the bar for a while. I try to keep my looks toward the door to a minimum, but with one such glance, I’m finally rewarded when Alyssa comes walking in.
She clearly went home and got cleaned up, because she’s wearing a summery dress in a peach color that sets off her tanned skin. Otherwise, she’s as she always is… fresh and lovely beyond compare. My entire body tightens upon seeing her and when she makes eye contact with me, giving me a soft smile, I feel like I f*cking won the lottery.
“Now I know who you’ve been waiting for,” Hunter says as he steps in close and whispers over the back of my shoulder.
I jerk in response to him, looking guilty as sin and yet still denying. “I was not looking for her. She just happened to walk in right now.”
“Stop lying to me, dude. You’re so transparent,” he tells me with a smirk, and I want to punch him. Then his eyes move past me, and I can tell he’s looking at Alyssa. “She looks fantastic though, right? If I wasn’t with Gabby, I would so be tapping that shit.”
Fury boils through me, and I step in toward Hunter. “You better shut the f*ck up,” I growl menacingly.
Hunter just laughs in my face. “Totally transparent, man.”
I look at my brother, moments ago wanting to knock his head off. But I see the humor on his face, and yes, I see happiness for me as well. He so has me pegged and with a sigh, I let go of the tension and decide not to fight it.
In fact, Jimbo would be proud to know… I’m going to embrace it.
Moving past Hunter, I snarl at him as I pass by, “A*shole.”
I walk out from behind the bar and head toward Alyssa, who is also walking my way. Her eyes are sparkling and the look on her face says she’s as happy to see me as I am to see her.
I don’t hesitate. I stride right up to her and just as she opens her mouth to say something to me, I grab onto her face with both hands and hold her tight while I kiss the f*ck out of her. I hear a wolf whistle, and I know it’s Hunter.
Her hands come up, grip onto the sleeves of my t-shirt, and a sexy little moan that only I can hear slithers into my mouth from hers. I keep the kiss brief, but it’s scorching hot. When I pull away, I want to beat my fists on my chest by the glazed look on her face.
“Hi,” I tell her with a grin.
She grins back at me. “Can I walk out and come back in so you do that again?”
Throwing my head back, I laugh at her.
And it’s deep, booming, and comes from a place inside of me that I thought was only filled with blackness. I forgot how good it felt to have a gut-busting laugh.
“Come on,” I say as I take her hand and pull her along. “Let me buy you dinner.”
“Okay,” she says, following behind me.
When I get to the bar, Hunter leans his elbows on it and leers at both of us. “So… when did this happen?”
Alyssa sits on a stool opposite Hunter, while I join him behind the bar just in time to hear Alyssa say, “Just recently.”
“A bit longer for me,” I add, and both Hunter and Alyssa look at me with shock. I shrug my shoulders, “What can I say? I was attracted to her from the get go.”
“But you hated me,” Alyssa says with a pout.
“No,” I tell her patiently. “I told you I never hated you. I just hated I was attracted to you.”
“Oh,” Alyssa exclaims in exaggerated understanding as she throws her hands up in the air. “Well, that just explains everything.”
I grin at her, and then turn to look at Hunter. He’s looking me in complete confusion.
“What?” I ask him.
Hunter just shakes his head with a sly smile. “Dude… I don’t even know who you are anymore. Where did my surly, gloom-and-doom brother go to?”
“He got laid last night,” Alyssa pipes up, and I practically choke on my own tongue.
Turning to her, I say, “You did not just say that out loud?”
She grins back at me coyly, shooting a glance at Hunter, who is now laughing his ass off.
“That’s it,” I grumble. “I’m getting back to work. You two stooges can hang with each other.”
“Oh no you don’t,” Hunter says as he claps me on the back. “You are taking the rest of the night off to have fun with your girl. I’ll tend bar tonight.”
“No way,” I immediately say. “You covered last night for me.”
“And now I know why, and I’m betting it was so worth it.”
I hear Alyssa giggle, but I keep my eyes on Hunter. “You don’t have to do that. I’m good, and I can ogle her from afar.”
Hunter responds by placing his hands on my shoulders and pushing me out. “Go. Leave. Get out of here. Get on the other side, and you two kids have fun. Besides, Gabby and Casey will be here soon.”
I decide to give in to my brother, because hello… I’d rather be on that side of the bar with Alyssa tonight.
“What do you mean, Gabby and Casey will be here soon?” I think to ask as I walk up to stand beside Alyssa.
Hunter shrugs his shoulders and looks at me with an evil glint. “Because I took a picture of you two kissing just now and texted it to them. Trust me… they’ll be here soon.”
“You are such an a*shole,” I sneer at him, mostly with good nature, but Alyssa has her hand over her mouth, laughing.
“Oh, might as well own it, Brody. Our public display was going to hit the gossip waves anyway.”
Ignoring Hunter, who is watching both of us keenly, I cup Alyssa’s face and pull her toward me as I bend down. Placing my lips near her ear, I say, “Looks like I got the night off. Let’s get out of here… go get some dinner together, okay?”
I love the tiny shiver that runs through her body just from my nearness.
“Okay,” she says, so I pull away to grab her hand. We are so out of here.
Alyssa hops off the stool and I turn to lead her out, but come face to face with Gabby and Casey standing there. Both of them have eyebrows cocked at us and arms crossed over their chests.
“Anything you want to tell us?” Casey asks sweetly.
“Yeah… anything that you may have forgotten to impart to your best friends?” Gabby says toward Alyssa.
I grin at both of them and start to lead Alyssa past. “Nope. I’m sure the photo you got said it all.”
Alyssa starts laughing and pulls at my hand, stopping me in my tracks. “Sorry, Brody. I can’t leave my girls hanging. You may have been able to put Hunter off with a few words, but girls need more time to talk about these things.”
I release her hand and rub the back of my neck in frustration. Man, I was looking forward to spending time alone with her.
“Fine,” I say grudgingly. “Go get a table, and I’ll bring you some beers.”
Casey and Gabby shoot me wide grins and take off. Alyssa, though, steps up to me, laying a small hand on my chest. “Is this weird?”
“Yup,” I tell her, bringing a hand up to wrap around the back of her neck. “But it’s inevitable. Might as well get it all out on the table.”
“Are you okay with me drinking? I mean, I’m only going to have a few beers, but I know you don’t drink.”
“It’s fine,” I assure her. “It doesn’t bother me and even if it wasn’t court ordered, I wouldn’t drink anyway.”
She steps in closer to me and whispers for my ears only. “But it wasn’t you… your drinking didn’t cause it.”
She means the accident, of course, but she’s wrong, in a way. “Alyssa… if I had been a responsible person, I would never have let Stacy drive. Had I not been drinking, I probably wouldn’t have received any prison time. So yeah, my poor choices regarding alcohol still landed me in a world of hurt and still contributed to killing someone. That’s on my conscience, and it isn’t coming off. That’s why I don’t drink anymore, but I would never begrudge you that, as long as you’re safe. And tonight… I have you and you’re safe.”
Her lips curve upward appreciatively, and she gives me a nod of her head in understanding. “Give me fifteen minutes of girl time, then get your butt over there and hang out with me, okay?”
“Okay,” I agree, releasing my hold on her.
***
I rock into Alyssa, my hips digging deep. Her knees squeeze into my ribs, her fingertips digging into my shoulders. We stare at each other as I soundlessly but slowly f*ck her.
The quiet is heavy, but it heightens my awareness of her. Her shallow breathing, the way her breasts move with every thrust. She’s sexy as f*ck when her breath hitches on a particularly deep push.
It has never… ever… been this good before. Not with Stacy, not with any other hot, little one-night stand I’d ever had in my youth.
The skeptic may say that’s because I’ve been in prison for five years, but I say different. It’s so f*cking good because it’s Alyssa. It’s so f*cking good because she knows more about me than any other human on this earth, and she shares a bond with me by virtue of my secret, that others will never be able to understand.
The silence is broken by a mewling sound coming from Alyssa, and my eyes go to her. Her brow is furrowed, and I can tell she’s on the edge.
Reaching one hand down between our bodies, I find that sweet spot between her legs and rub her there. Her head tilts back, exposing her slender throat. As she cries out her climax, I lean down and rub my beard along her neck.
Then I let go and fall after her. My orgasm rumbles through me, deliciously shredding me. I don’t utter a sound but instead, I focus all of my attention on the intense pleasure Alyssa is giving me. It’s so f*cking beautiful and even as I continue to pulse inside of her, I’m trying to figure out how to make it even better the next time.
When our bodies quiet and our heart rates settle, I leave her briefly to take care of the condom. I hit the kitchen and grab some water, doing a quick check again of her doors to make sure they’re locked.
Walking back into her bedroom, I find her lying on her stomach, her face turned toward me. The glow from the bathroom light illuminates her, and I can tell she’s drifted into a sound sleep.
Leaning back against the wall, I slide to the floor and pull my knees up, resting my elbows there. I just watch Alyssa sleep, and I feel peaceful.
It’s been many, many years since I’ve felt that, and I sit in my solitude, letting it wash over me.
It’s only a moment of peace though, because often the bright light of day will bring back some harsh realities. Tomorrow will be soon enough to be reminded that I’m still an ex-con who slings drinks for a living. What type of life could I possibly give Alyssa?
Tomorrow is soon enough to remember that I harbor a terrible secret. While Alyssa has taken on some of its weight, it’s still my cross to bear. And here is why that cross is so f*cking heavy.
I keep telling myself that I’m saving everyone pain by keeping the secret—by not letting my family know I was innocent. They would be devastated to know I had been imprisoned for a crime I didn’t commit. They would be horrified to know I gave up a golden life for someone else’s wrong.
But deep down, I know different, even if I won’t admit it out loud. I know that’s not really the reason I’ve asked Alyssa to keep quiet.
I hide the truth from my loved ones because I know there will be some level of disappointment in me. I know that they will never understand why I did what I did. I mean, how could they, when even I can’t understand it, and I’ve had five long years to mull it over.
No, I just got my family back. We are healing our wounds and moving on. It would serve no purpose for me to tear them back open again, just to have a clean conscience. Like I told Alyssa tonight… my conscience is already soiled with the knowledge I contributed to that man’s death by letting Stacy drive after drinking.
What’s one more stain on my soul anyway?
Pulling free from those thoughts, I realize my moment of peace has dissipated. So I seek it out again and crawl under the covers behind Alyssa, pulling her into my arms. She sighs gratefully in her sleep and I close my eyes, waiting for five AM to roll around.