“That wasn’t him messing up,” I said. “It was Danielle.”
“He still shouldn’t have let it get that far. We were just about to break it up when you walked in.” He grumbled again and sighed. “We knew he didn’t want to do any of that. They said they knew about your real mom and he was willing to do anything to get what you wanted to know. And we didn’t stop him. It’s my fault, too. He’d do anything for any of us.”
I sniffed, wiping at my face. “We need to find him.” I moaned and then touched his cheek, examining the damage. “We need you to get to the doctor.”
“You can’t go naked,” he said. “Let me get stitched up. Then we’ll find him.”
His promise to help, what he was saying, it spurred just enough energy in me to move forward. I swallowed thickly, repeatedly, trying to get around what I was feeling, that I was putting those feelings on them.
Everything we’d been through together, they’d do it all and more to be with me.
I’d do anything for them.
He nudged me to get up so he could as well. He went to the second room, the smaller one, where there were more clothes. He passed me one of the bags, one marked in pink.
I opened it, spilling out the contents onto the floor to sort out. The notebook I’d been using as a journal between them fell out on top of clothing and other items. I picked it up, the page opening automatically to where I was last writing.
When it was clear I was distracted from getting dressed, he turned to look at what I was doing. “What’s that?”
“I was being dumb,” I said, dropping it to the floor. It landed face open on the carpet. “I was writing rules for the relationship...stuff I was hearing from the others.”
He picked it up, looking over the page. “You only wrote one.”
“I wasn’t sure what to put for the rest. Kota said relationships like this get complicated and we probably needed to figure out the boundaries, the rules.”
Gabriel’s face hardened. “What does it say? I’m not that great with your Korean lettering yet.”
I shrugged. “Something like, no line of sight. No kissing in front of the others basically.”
He dug into one of the bags and he took out a pen. He wrote something below what I’d written.
When he finished, he showed it to me.
Rule two: Sang’s the only one.
My lower lip quivered. It felt selfish.
But his intense crystal gaze was steady on my face. He dropped the pen and put a hand over his heart. “Because I want to.”
I shook, looking at what he’d written.
Suddenly I dropped everything else, scooped up the pen, took the notebook from him.
I scribbled out the numbers. I wanted to rewrite it all but then just added below what he’d written.
Rule one: Just us.
I wrote their names after that, mine included. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing it. Simply reestablishing what we already knew.
It was just us. That’s how it had to be.
Just Us
Once Gabriel and I were dressed, I kept the bookbag with me to carry the notebook and we left to go back to Nathan’s house.
When we arrived, the front door was hanging open.
Gabriel put himself ahead of me, peeking around the corner and looking in.
Voices came from the living room. First it was just Victor. It was followed by North.
Uh oh.
I urged Gabriel in before North had too long to get upset by anything that Victor told him. Gabriel shut the front door first before going in further.
North was standing near the coffee table. Victor and Silas were sitting on the couch.
Dr. Green was by the back door, looking out toward the pool.
The moment we crossed the threshold, North picked up his head, his face contorted with rage suddenly became confused.
I wanted to go to him, but resisted. I simply stood by, swallowing quietly and waiting.
The others stood, looking at me.
Gabriel came up behind me and put an arm around me and a hand on my shoulder. He squeezed me to him gently. “Is Nathan here?”
North looked back at the others before returning his dark eyes to me and answering. “He’s gone. He took off in Kota’s car.”
I pressed my lips hard together and looked down. I shouldn’t have waited. I needed to but he needed me more. “Tell me we can track him?” I croaked out.
Footsteps behind us at the door shook us all out of our glum state, aware, cautious.
Luke came in, followed by Kota.
With Mr. Blackbourne coming in behind them. No tie. No coat. The collar of his shirt undone.
My body shook without prompting. They were all here. They all knew.
Mr. Blackbourne took one look at me, and he nudged Kota and Luke out of his way.
I stood still, ready.
Gabriel moved aside and Mr. Blackbourne picked up my chin, holding it steady.
I looked at him with blurry eyes. “We have to find him,” I said as steady as I could.
With a determination, his eyes turned into sharp steel. He kept his gaze on me but he spoke to the others. “We will. Won’t we?”
“Drag him back by his ears if I have to,” North said.
Mr. Blackbourne spoke, “And we’re not going to have a discussion about him going to Lily before.” He released me to look over my head at the others. “And we’re not going to blame him for what happened here.”
“We’re not going to blame him,” I said, before anyone else could say anything. When I looked around, the others seemed to agree with me. Resolute expressions all around.
“It’s likely he’s just driving without a place in mind,” Mr. Blackbourne said, moving away from me. He pulled his phone out and started checking at maps. “He’d return when he calmed down. But I still want an organized search.”
Mr. Blackbourne went over the major roads, starting from Summerville and going inward into Charleston. He pointed out likely spots he might stop along the way. Connections with the police department were open, just in case of an accident.
The idea he could get into an accident after all of this scared me. If Nathan was very upset, would he crash?
Just a precaution, I tried to tell myself. But I was terrified he thought to do this.
Kota lingered with me while the others got to work planning routes.
I reached for his hand, holding it. “Do you know anywhere he might have gone?”
“Before, I would have said to you,” he said, frowning. He turned to me. His glasses were a little dirty around the edges. His eyes had dark circles. He squeezed my hand back. “Or he might go to one of our houses. But after this...”
And we were in his home, a place he should have been able to retreat to. Only he didn’t come here.
“Someone should wait for him here,” I said.
“I will,” Kota said.
My lips twitched. I wanted to say more. To thank him for staying behind. I didn’t think I could sit in the house and wait.
Within minutes, I was out in Mr. Blackbourne’s car, but with Victor’s plate on the back. Victor drove, with Luke in the back. They’d given me a pack: bottle of water, chips, bottle of coffee, a banana. Food for the road so we didn’t have to stop.
The others had split up in various cars. We were to take the highway and check the off ramps and the gas stations along the way.
Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green took another main road in Dr. Green’s car, taking Gabriel to get stitched before continuing on. Silas and North took the black SUV through county roads and rural areas around the city.
I sat up front next to Victor, the food in my lap untouched. My stomach was twisted too hard to eat.
The route Victor took seemed to take forever. Stopping at every exit to check the gas stations, combing the streets. I sent texts constantly to Kota, to North and the others.
Did you find him yet?
Any word?
Where is he?
I hovered over my cell phone. Luke hung over the back of my seat.
“He’ll show up,” Luke said. “He’s just upset.”
“We’re all upset,” Victor said. “But he’s right, Sang. Don’t worry. He’ll come back.”
I swallowed thickly, looking out the window. I wanted to believe them.