Love and Other Consolation Prizes

“Vancouver, British Columbia, for a month of gigs at the Patrician nightclub. Then we head east to Chicago. I’ve never been, but I’ve heard things—some good, some bad, but sounds like there’s plenty of work. I hooked up with a hot band traveling through town led by a man named Ferdinand LaMothe. He just lost one of his crew—married a local girl—so off I go in his place…” Professor True reached up and pulled part of the canvas away from the keyboard and played a one-handed stinger on the piano, which was already slipping out of tune.

Ernest said, “Good luck. I’ll be right here with Fahn. I guess we’re sticking together for a while.”

Professor True raised an eyebrow and climbed into the back of the truck. Then he smiled as he sat down on a bale of hay and began singing “Movin’ Man, Don’t Take My Baby Grand.” The truck drove away in a cloud of dust, leaving behind streets that were less crowded than ever before, and eerily quiet, with just the distant clanging of a trolley and the chatter of gulls to keep Ernest company.

Alone in the house now, Ernest walked back upstairs and peeked into Miss Amber’s room, which had long been vacant. It was now empty, the window cracked. He went to Madam Flora’s master suite, which was also bare except for tea stains on the wall. He sighed and finally, reluctantly, went to say goodbye to the room that had been Maisie’s, then Fahn’s. In the hallway, he paused where some of the ladies had been piling up the things they were leaving behind. There was a small mound of discarded clothing, broken hatboxes, and empty tins of makeup. Ernest took his raffle ticket from the AYP out of his shirt pocket and left it behind on the pile.

Then he went back downstairs, retrieved his suitcase, and stepped out into the mist. He looked up at the four-story edifice that had been his only real home. As the gaslights flickered to life, he found a dry spot beneath the awning and sat alone atop his valise. He listened to the patter of the rain as it showered the streets, turning the dusty pavement black and luminescent. He surveyed the boarded-up buildings, the darkened neon signs as he patiently waited for Fahn, who showed up twenty minutes later. She was soaking wet but beaming.

“I got a job!” she shouted. “Two actually. I got hired as a waitress,” she gushed. “But when the owner found out I spoke English, she also referred me to the Japanese Language School—that’s what took me so long. After a tour and a short test, they hired me on the spot. It’ll probably take me a year to make what the upstairs girls were earning in a month, but it’s a fresh start, and you have your savings. They even suggested using me to reach out to some of the displaced girls in the neighborhood.”

Ernest cocked his head.

“Well…” Fahn said. “I had to lie about where I’d worked. But Mrs. Blackwell said she’d cover for me. She gave me a marvelous reference. And since I told them we had a motorcar, they said they’d pay us to use it to retrieve some of the girls.”

“We?” Ernest asked. “You told them about me? About us?”

“I had to,” Fahn said. “A single woman arouses a certain suspicion around here—I couldn’t risk that, not right now. I doubt they would have hired me. And it’ll be tough for us to rent an apartment together unless we play along, even here in the colored neighborhoods. So I told a fib. There was no other way, not out there in the real world. I hope you don’t mind me pretending to be Mrs. Ernest Young, at least for a while?”

Ernest smiled as he felt warmth spreading from the center of his chest. He was almost fifteen and could pass for marrying age. And Fahn was nearly eighteen.

“We could…” He hesitated. Then he took her hands. “We could make it official. We could go to the courthouse…”

“I can’t believe you still want to marry me…”

“Why? What’s wrong with that?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. Nothing at all. A part of me would like that, Ernest.” She spoke the affirming words, but her eyes were filled with apologies as she let go. “I love the thought of a life together, with someone, anyone, but especially with you. I dream of that sometimes. But…I’m not the girl you marry. I never was and I never will be. I don’t think I’m the marrying kind.”

“I do.”

Fahn turned her back toward the Tenderloin. “Then I guess we’ll see what happens. The world is changing. Maybe I’ll be allowed to change as well.”

Ernest picked up his suitcase and stared at the vacant street, the darkened buildings. Everything was quiet. He could hear birds calling on the rooftops, the clip-clop of a distant horse. The faint sound of a church choir.

Ernest thought about the future and sighed. “Goodness, gracious.”





LOVE AND MARRIAGE


(1962)



Ernest left Gracie at the apartment, engrossed in a live television program about the Century 21 Expo and the opening of the Space Needle. He walked east on South Weller, beyond a vacant lot where an old abandoned building had been torn down and past the smoky entrance of the Consistory Legionarios del Trabajo. He’d visited the lodge with Pascual on occasion, whenever the Filipino-American brethren were serving lechón.

As he passed, he didn’t smell the telltale aroma of lemongrass and vinegar, so he kept going on across the street to the humble Crescent Café. Inside there were burgers frying, chili simmering, and coffee noisily percolating behind the counter. He found a booth by the window and rested his elbows on the chipped Formica tabletop, hands in front of his face as though in prayer. He thought about Maisie and Fahn—better known these days as Margaret and Gracie. As if in answer to his silent invocation, a waitress brought him a glass of water and a menu.

Ernest glanced at his wristwatch and then looked outside at the creeping shadows of the setting sun. As he waited for Juju, pedestrians walked up and down the sidewalk beneath the awnings of the Red Front Tavern, the Manila Café, and the Victory Laundry & Bath.

He’d told Juju all of his recollections regarding the great Alaska-Yukon-Pacific Exposition. He’d shared how Madam Flora and Miss Amber had traveled abroad and never returned, how Fahn had run away to a less reputable establishment, and how Maisie had eventually transcended her social status. But as his reporter daughter walked through the door, he knew that he had to answer whatever other lingering questions she might have, if only to keep Gracie from surprising her on a regular basis.

“Wow, Dad, charming place you picked out. It’s almost as nice as the Publix,” Juju said as she hung up her coat and settled into the booth across from him.

“Some people go out to be seen,” Ernest said. “I prefer to be unseen.”

“Yeah, you and Sasquatch.”

Ernest motioned to the waitress, who brought them a fresh pot of tea, steaming hot. He swirled the pot and then poured for both of them. He observed how the bits of leaves settled at the bottom of each cup, and he wondered what secrets might be foretold, past and future. “What are Hanny and Rich up to this evening?”

Juju opened her reporter’s notebook. “Han said they’d meet us back at your lovely apartment after dinner; she wanted to spend some more time with Mom before they fly back.” Then she shifted on the cracked vinyl of her seat. “How’s she doing?”

“Better,” Ernest said with a nod. “I think she’s getting a little bit better every day. Though occasionally she’ll ask where old friends are—most of whom have long since passed away. But we’re together again, so that’s something—”

“Dad, I told Hanny the truth about Mom’s situation,” Juju interrupted.

Ernest paused and slowly sipped his tea. “And…how did that go?”

“Oh, she already knew.” Juju rolled her eyes. “Han works in Las Vegas as a showgirl. She’s around gangsters and gamblers and topless dancers all the time—she’s not that na?ve, trust me. She just doesn’t like to dwell on the thought of her mom working as a—what was that word you used?”

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