CHAPTER NINETEEN
David and I didn’t speak after that. But every afternoon after work he was there, waiting across the street. He’d be watching me from beneath the brim of his baseball cap. All ready to stalk me home safely. It pissed me off, but in no way did I feel threatened. I’d ignored him for three days as he trailed me. Today was day number four. He’d traded his usual black jeans for blue, boots for sneakers. Even from a distance, his upper lip and nose looked bruised. The paparazzi were still missing in action, though today someone had asked me if he was in town. His days of moving around Portland unknown were probably coming to an end. I wondered if he knew.
When I didn’t just ignore him as per my usual modus operandi, he took a step forward. Then stopped. A truck passed between us among a steady stream of city traffic. This was crazy. Why was he still here? Why hadn’t he just gone back to Martha? Moving on was impossible with him here.
Decision half made, I rushed across during the next break in traffic, meeting him on the opposite sidewalk.
“Hi,” I said, not fussing with strap on my bag at all. “What are you doing here, David?”
He stuffed his hands in his pockets, looked around. “I’m walking you home. Same as I do every day.”
“This is your life now?”
“Guess so.”
“Huh,” I said, summing up the situation perfectly. “Why don’t you go back to LA?”
Blue eyes watched me warily and he didn’t answer at first. “My wife lives in Portland.”
My heart stuttered. The simplicity of the statement and the sincerity in his eyes caught me off guard. I wasn’t nearly as immune to him as I should have been. “We can’t keep doing this.”
He studied the street, not me, his shoulders hunched over. “Will you walk with me, Ev?”
I nodded. We walked. Neither of us rushed, instead strolling past shopfronts and restaurants, peering into bars just getting going for the evening. I had a bad feeling that once we stopped walking we’d have to start talking, so dawdling suited me fine. Summer nights meant there were a fair number of people around.
An Irish bar sat on a street corner about halfway home. Music blared out, some old song by The White Stripes. Hands still stuffed into his pockets, David gestured toward the bar with an elbow. “Wanna get a drink?”
It took me a moment to find my voice. “Sure.”
He led me straight to a table at the back, away from the growing crowd of post-work drinkers. He ordered two pints of Guinness. Once they arrived, we sat in silence, sipping. After a moment, David took off his cap and set it on the table. Shit, his poor face. I could see it more clearly now and he looked like he had two black eyes.
We sat there staring at one another in some bizarre sort of standoff. Neither of us spoke. The way he looked at me, like he’d been hurt too, like he was hurting … I couldn’t take it. Waiting to drag this whole sorry mess of a relationship out into the light wasn’t helping either of us. Time for a new plan. We’d clear the air then get on with our respective lives. No more hurt and heartache. “You wanted to tell me about her?” I prompted, sitting up straighter, preparing myself for the worst.
“Yeah. Martha and I were together a long time. You probably already know, she was the one who cheated on me. The one we talked about.”
I nodded.
“We started the band when I was fourteen, Mal and Jimmy and me. Ben joined a year later and she’d hang around too. They were like family,” he said, brow puckered. “They are family. Even when things went bad I couldn’t just turn my back on her …”
“You kissed her.”
He sighed. “No, she kissed me. Martha and I are finished.”
“I’m guessing she doesn’t know that, since she’s still calling you and all.”
“She’s moved to New York, no longer working for the band. I don’t know what the phone call was about, but I didn’t return it.”
I nodded, only slightly appeased. Our problems weren’t that clear-cut. “Does your heart understand you’re finished with her? I guess I mean your head, don’t I? The heart’s just another muscle, really. Silly to say it decides anything.”
“Martha and I are finished. We have been for a long time. I promise.”
“Even if that’s true, doesn’t that just make me the consolation prize? Your attempt at a normal life?”
“Ev, no. That’s not the way it is.”
“Are you sure about that?” I asked, disbelief thick in my voice. I picked up my beer, gulping down the bitter, dark ale and creamy foam. Something to calm the nerves. “I was getting over you,” I said, my voice a pitiful, small thing. My shoulders were right back where they belonged, way down. “A month. I didn’t really give up on you until day seven, though. Then I knew you weren’t coming. I knew it was over then. Because if I’d been so important to you, you’d have said something by then, right? I mean, you knew I was in love with you. So you’d have put me out of my misery by then, wouldn’t you?”
He said nothing.
“You’re all secrets and lies, David. I asked you about the earring, remember?”
He nodded.
“You lied.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry.”
“Did you do that before or after our honesty rule? I can’t remember. It was definitely after the cheating rule though, right?” Talking was a mistake. All of the jagged thoughts and emotions he inspired caught up with me too fast.
He didn’t deign to reply.
“What’s the story behind the earrings, anyway?”
“I brought them with my first pay check after the record company signed us.”
“Wow. And you both wore them all this time. Even after she cheated on you and everything.”
“It was Jimmy,” he said. “She cheated on me with Jimmy.”
Holy shit, his own brother. So many things fell into place with that piece of information. “That’s why you got so upset about finding him and that groupie together. And when you saw Jimmy talking to me at that party.”
“Yeah. It was all a long time ago, but … Jimmy flew back for an appearance on a TV show. We were in the middle of a big tour, playing Spain at the time. The second album had just hit the top ten. We were finally really pulling in the crowds.”