I’ve got this feeling that comes and goes
Ten broken fingers and one broken nose
Dark waters very cold
I know I’ll make it home
This sorry sun has burned the sky
She’s out of touch and she’s very high
Her bed was made of stone
I know I’ll break her throne
These aching bones won’t hold me up
My swollen shoes they have had enough
These smokestacks burn them down
This ocean let it drown
When he finished I was quiet. He gave me a squeeze, probably checking I was still alive. I squeezed his arms right back, not turning over so he couldn’t see the tears in my eyes. The combination of his voice and the moody ballad had undone me. I was always making a mess of myself around him, crying or puking. Why he wanted anything to do with me, I had no idea.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Anytime.”
I lay there, trying to decipher the lyrics. What it might mean that he’d chosen that song to sing to me. “What’s it called?”
“‘Homesick.’ I wrote it for the last album.” He rose up on one elbow, leaning over to check out my face. “Shit, I made you sad. I’m sorry.”
“No. It was beautiful. Your voice is amazing.”
He frowned but lay back down, pressed his chest against my spine. “I’ll sing you something happy next time.”
“If you like.” I pressed my lips to the back of his hand, to the veins tracing across, and the dusting of dark hair. “David?”
“Hmm?”
“Why don’t you sing in the band? You have such a great voice.”
“I do back-up. Jimmy loves the limelight. It was always more his thing.” His fingers twined with mine. “He wasn’t always the asshole he is now. I’m sorry he hassled you in LA. I could have killed him for saying that shit.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. He was off his face. He didn’t have a fucking clue what he was talking about.” His thumb moved restlessly over my hand. “You’re gorgeous. You don’t need to change a thing.”
I didn’t know what to say at first. Jimmy had said some horrible things and it had stayed with me. Funny how the bad stuff always did.
“I’ve both puked and cried on you. Are you entirely sure about that?” I joked, finally.
“Yes,” he said simply. “I like you the way you are, blurting out whatever shit crosses your mind. Not trying to play me, or use me. You’re just … being with me. I like you.”
I lay there speechless for a moment, taken aback. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Anytime, Evelyn. Anytime at all.”
“I like you too.”
His lips brushed against the back of my neck. Shivers raced across my skin. “Do you?”
“Yes. Very much.”
“Thanks, baby.”
It took a long time for his breathing to even out. His limbs got heavier and he stilled, asleep against my back. My foot went fuzzy with pins and needles but never mind. I hadn’t slept with anyone before, apart from the occasional platonic bed-sharing episode with Lauren. Apparently, sleeping was all I’d be doing today.
In all honesty, it felt good, lying next to him.
It felt right.