Apparently, it had been three days since the battle. And the rest of the khagan’s army, led by Prince Kashin, his third-eldest son, had arrived.
It was that tidbit that had her rising fully to consciousness, a hand sliding to Rowan’s arm. A caress of a touch, just to see how deeply the rejuvenating sleep held him. Three days, they’d slept here, unaware of the world. A dangerous, vulnerable time for any magic-wielder, when their bodies demanded a deep sleep to recover from expending so much power.
That was another sliver she’d picked up: Gavriel sat outside their door. In mountain lion form. People drew quiet when they approached, not realizing that as soon as they passed him, their whispers of That strange, terrifying cat could be detected by Fae ears.
Aelin ran a finger over the seam of Rowan’s sleeve, feeling the corded muscle beneath. Clear—her head, her body felt clear. Like the first icy breath inhaled on a winter’s morning.
During the days they’d slept, no nightmare had shaken her awake, hunted her. A small, merciful reprieve.
Aelin swallowed, her throat dry. What had been real, what Maeve had tried to plant in her mind—did it matter, whether the pain had been true or imagined?
She had gotten out, gotten away from Maeve and Cairn. Facing the broken bits inside her would come later.
For now, it was enough to have this clarity back. Even though releasing her power, expending that mighty blow here, had not been her plan.
Aelin slid her gaze toward Rowan, his harsh face softened into handsomeness by sleep. And clean—the gore that had splattered them both was gone. Someone must have washed it away while they slept.
As if he sensed her attention, or just felt the lingering hand on his arm, Rowan’s eyes cracked open. He scanned her from head to toe, deemed everything all right, and met her stare.
“Show-off,” he muttered.
Aelin patted his arm. “You put on a pretty fancy display yourself, Prince.”
He smiled, his tattoo crinkling. “Will that display be the last of your surprises, or are there more coming?”
She debated it—telling him, revealing it. Maybe.
Rowan sat up, the blanket sliding from him. Is this the sort of surprise that will end with my heart stopping dead in my chest?
She snorted, propping her head with a fist as she traced idle marks over the scratchy blanket. “I sent a letter—when we were at that port in Wendlyn.”
Rowan nodded. “To Aedion.”
“To Aedion,” she said, quietly enough that Gavriel couldn’t hear from his spot outside the door. “And to your uncle. And to Essar.”
Rowan’s brows rose. “Saying what?”
She hummed to herself. “Saying that I was indeed imprisoned by Maeve, and that while I was her captive, she laid out some rather nefarious plans.”
Her mate went still. “With what goal in mind?”
Aelin sat up, and picked at her nails. “Convincing them to disband her army. Start a revolt in Doranelle. Kick Maeve off the throne. You know, small things.”
Rowan just looked at her. Then scrubbed at his face. “You think a letter could do that?”
“It was strongly worded.”
He gaped a bit. “What sort of nefarious plans did you mention?”
“Desire to conquer the world, her complete lack of interest in sparing Fae lives in a war, her interest in Valg things.” She swallowed. “I might have mentioned that she’s possibly Valg.”
Rowan started.
Aelin shrugged. “It was a lucky guess. The best lies are always mixed with truth.”
“Suggesting Maeve is Valg is a fairly outlandish lie, even for you. Even if it turned out to be true.”
She waved a hand. “We’ll see if anything comes of it.”
“If it works, if they somehow revolt and the army turns against her …” He shook his head, laughing softly. “It’d be a boon in this war.”
“I scheme and lie so grandly, and that’s all the credit I get?”
Rowan flicked her nose. “You’ll get credit if her army doesn’t show up. Until then, we prepare as if they are. Which is highly likely.” At her frown, he said, “Essar doesn’t wield much power, and my uncle doesn’t take many risks. Not like Enda and Sellene. For them to overthrow Maeve … it would be monumental. If they even survived it.”
Her stomach churned. “It’s their choice, what they do. I only laid out the facts.” Carefully worded facts and half guesses. An absolute gamble, if she was being honest.
Rowan smirked. “And other than attempting to overthrow Maeve’s throne? Any other surprises I should know about?”
Her smile faded as she lay back down, Rowan doing the same beside her. “There are no more.” At his raised brows, she added, “I swear it on my throne. There are no more left.”
The amusement in his eyes guttered. “I don’t know whether to be relieved.”
“Everything I know, you know. All the cards are on the table now.”
With the various armies that had gathered, with the Lock, with all of it.
“Do you think you could do it again?” he asked. “Draw up that much power?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. It required being … contained. With the irons.”
A shadow darkened his face, and he rolled onto his side, propping up his head. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“You never will again.” It was the truth.
“If the cost of that much power is what you endured, then I’ll be glad not to.”
Aelin ran a hand down the powerful muscles of his thigh, fingers snagging in the rip of fabric just above his knee. “I didn’t feel you get this wound through the mating bond,” she said, grazing the thick ridge of the new scar. A trophy from the battle. She made herself meet his piercing stare. Did Maeve somehow break that part of it? That part of us?
“No,” he breathed, and stroked the hair from her brow. “I’ve realized that the bond only conveys the pain of the gravest wounds.”
She touched the spot on his shoulder where Asterin Blackbeak’s arrow had pierced him all those months ago. The moment she’d known what he was to her.
“It was why I didn’t know what was happening to you on the beach,” Rowan said roughly. Because the whipping, brutal and unbearable as it had been, hadn’t brought her to the brink of death. Only into an iron coffin.
She scowled. “If you’re about to tell me that you feel guilty for it—”
“We both have things to grapple with—about what happened these months.”
A glance at him, and she knew he was well aware of what still clouded her soul.
And because he was the only person who saw everything she was and did not walk away from it, Aelin said, “I wanted that fire to be for Maeve.”
“I know.” Such simple words, and yet it meant everything—that understanding.
“I wanted it to make things … better.” She loosed a long breath. “To wipe it all away.” Every memory and nightmare and lie.
“It will take a while, Aelin. To face it, work through it.”
“I don’t have a while.”
His jaw tensed. “That remains to be seen.”
She didn’t bother arguing. Not as she admitted, “I want it to be over.”
He went wholly still, but granted her the space to think, to speak.
“I want it to be over and done with,” she said hoarsely. “This war, the gods and the Wyrdgate and the Lock. All of it.” She rubbed her temples, pushing past the weight, the lingering stain that no fire might cleanse. “I want to go to Terrasen, to fight, and then I want it to be over.”
She’d wanted it to be over since she’d learned the true cost of forging the Lock anew. Had wanted it to be over with each of Cairn’s lashes on the beach in Eyllwe. And all he’d done to her afterward. Whatever it might bring about, however it might end, she wanted it to be over.
She didn’t know who and what it made her.
Rowan remained silent for a long moment before he said, “Then we will make sure the khagan’s host goes north. Then we will return to Terrasen and crush Erawan’s armies.” He brought her hands to his mouth for a swift kiss. “And then, after all that, we’ll see about this damned Lock.” Uncompromising will filled his every breath, the air around them.
Kingdom of Ash (Throne of Glass #7)
Sarah J. Maas's books
- Heir of Fire
- The Assassin and the Desert
- Assassin's Blade
- The Assassin and the Pirate Lord
- Throne of Glass
- A Court of Thorns and Roses (A Court of Thorns and Roses #1)
- A Court of Mist and Fury (A Court of Thorns and Roses #2)
- Empire of Storms (Throne of Glass #5)
- A Court of Wings and Ruin (A Court of Thorns and Roses #3)
- Tower of Dawn (Throne of Glass #6)
- A Court of Frost and Starlight (A Court of Thorns and Roses #3.1)