Just The Way You Are

I flashed back to last night, the laughter, the stories, the animated conversation. My phone had been in my rucksack; there’s no way I’d have heard it.

‘Steph, you know how long my life was controlled by the phone ringing every time I was out by myself. You can’t blame me for turning it to silent.’

‘I’m not your mum, Ollie,’ she huffed. ‘I’m your best friend, sensibly checking in considering you were spending the night alone in the middle of nowhere.’

‘I know. I’m sorry you were worried, but I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Better than fine, actually. If you’re free this evening I’ll tell you about it, but for now I really need to boil some water and find somewhere to do a wee.’

‘So you were alone?’

‘Um, what?’

That woman. She hadn’t raised three headstrong brothers and survived social work for eight years without developing some skills.

‘Again, as your best friend, I’m checking that as well as being alive and well, you’ve not slipped off the No-Man wagon and ended up, I don’t know, camping in Mr May’s garden or something.’

I held the phone away from my ear until I was sure I’d got my voice under control. ‘I can promise you I slept out in the forest, as planned.’

‘Alone?’

‘No, actually, I wasn’t alone. I spent the whole night snuggling a handsome male.’

I could almost hear Steph rolling her eyes. ‘You’re talking about Nesbit, aren’t you?’

Reassured that I was safe, well and sticking to the plan, Steph let me get on with my day on the condition that I called her once I was home. While my stove was heating up water for my tea, I brushed my hair and teeth, then braved another peek at Sam’s decking, where he now appeared lost in his book. Feeling it would be rude to simply pack up and leave, but reluctant to stray towards temptation, I stood at the edge of the fence and called hello.

He immediately came strolling over. ‘Are you joining me for breakfast?’

‘As appealing as that sounds, you know it’s against the rules.’

‘Even though you’ve completed a night alone in the woods?’

‘Was I alone?’ I asked, squinting at him. ‘Or were you camped just the other side of the fence, making sure I didn’t burn down the forest or cause any other incidents?’

He laughed. ‘I was safely tucked up in bed. Scout and Willow would have let me know if anything untoward was happening.’

‘Barked it out in Morse code? Doggy sign language?’

‘Or tapped out a text with their nose. Anyway, my question was, what time is the solo challenge over, and you can hang out with humans again?’

‘Not until I’ve walked home.’

‘Okay.’ Was that a brief flicker of disappointment on Sam’s face, or merely my imagination? ‘I’ll leave you to it, then. Oh, and congratulations! You should be proud of yourself. It’s a big deal, camping in the woods by yourself.’

‘Thanks.’ As Sam walked away, I took a moment to do precisely that – it was a big deal, for me at least. He stopped a few feet from his decking, turning back to call out, ‘Oh – and if you follow the path on the other side of the stream towards the pine trees, there’s some toilets about fifteen minutes away. I presume using my bathroom is also against the rules.’

I wasn’t sure that it was, but I was hardly going to ask him now. I was sure that I wasn’t going to risk relieving myself behind a nearby bush, as originally planned, with Sam’s enormous windows overlooking the forest for miles. Grateful for the information, I drank my tea, packed up and headed for home.





Steph decided that a phone call wasn’t enough. I’d showered, eaten, thrown my clothes in the wash and was enjoying a well-earnt Sunday afternoon nap when she arrived.

We sat in the living room and chatted for a while about her continuing family problems. Simeon had arranged to meet up with his dad for lunch. The father he’d not seen in nearly ten years stumbled into the café an hour late, with a black eye and reeking of cheap whisky.

‘Instead of taking it as a sign that Eli was nothing but trouble, Simeon’s decided that he needs help.’ Steph had stopped calling Eli ‘Dad’ a long time ago, for obvious reasons. She gnawed furiously on a peanut butter cookie. ‘Of course he needs help. What Simeon has to realise is that until he wants help, it’s all a heartbreaking waste of time and tears.’

‘What are you going to do?’

She shook her head in frustration. ‘You know how happy I would be never to have anything to do with that man again. Not unless he turns up sober, with proof of a decent address and a job. Even the thought of hearing his whining voice, seeing that look on his face, makes me want to vomit.’

‘But you’re worried about Simeon.’ I topped up her glass of iced tea.

‘I can’t sleep at night knowing what he’ll be getting dragged into. It’s like I can already feel the sticky tendrils creeping closer. If I offer to get Eli an appointment with some organisations that can help, then Simeon will see that he doesn’t want a new start, or to change, as he keeps saying. He wants money and an occasional place to lie low.’

‘So you’ll help?’

She grimaced. ‘I’m thinking about it. Drew doesn’t want me to. He knows where this leads, and thinks Simeon is a grown man who has to learn the hard way if he insists on ignoring my warnings. But, you know… it’s Simeon.’

Her brother. Whose nappies she’d changed and school uniform she’d ironed and who she’d protected with her fierce embrace for countless long, scary nights. Steph had grown up sacrificing her happiness for the love of her baby brothers. That was a tough habit to break, no matter what your age.

‘At least Mum seems a bit better. I took Nicky round to see her yesterday, and she was able to chat to him and make us a sandwich. The flat wasn’t great, but it looked as though she’s the only person living there, which is something.’

‘And how’s Jordan?’

Steph’s faced transformed instantly. ‘He’s dating a pharmacist. Here.’ She pulled out her phone and leant across the sofa to show me a photograph of a smiling woman who looked like Halle Berry when she had short hair.

‘Wow.’

‘We’re going out for brunch next weekend.’ She gave a smug smirk. ‘She asked if she could meet Nicky, too.’

Jordan’s last-but-one girlfriend, a fellow medical student, had dodged meeting Nicky for several months. When she did, the brief flicker of fear and distaste on her face had ensured it was the last time she met any of them, Jordan included.

‘That’s fantastic! Let me know how it goes.’

‘I most certainly will. But that’s more than enough of my never-ending soap opera. How was your adventure?’

I briefly filled her in on the day’s walking, followed by my eviction from the initial camping spot. I had debated whether to mention that Sam caught me half naked, but I knew that it was precisely the kind of story she needed to hear.

‘What?’ She sat back, mouth dangling open with glee. ‘Mr May caught you in your fancy new underwear? Oh, now this is perfect! Did he manage not to drool?’

‘Once he saw I’d lit a campfire he was quite scary, actually. All health and safety and forestry regulations.’

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