“You told us,” Hannah interrupts. “And I had nightmares for weeks. So there’s no need for a repeat.”
I grin at all of them.
“What happens when we’ve all moved on and don’t need our meetings anymore?” Carly asks. “Brook is pregnant. Gemma too.”
I look down. I haven’t mentioned yet that I’m not anymore.
“Hannah will be soon, I’m sure. And me, I’m not trying anymore. I had the divorce papers delivered to Theo last night. So, that’s it for me.”
“Oh, Carly. I’m so sorry,” Hannah whispers.
I look around the room at the group of women who have almost nothing in common with each other except for one thing, not infertility, but friendship.
“We’ll keep meeting,” I say. “Why do we need an excuse? We’re friends. We’ll stay friends. Just because we stop fertility treatments doesn’t mean we have to stop being friends. We’ll meet whenever we want, for as long as we want.”
They all look at me, identical stunned expressions on their faces. Then Brook says, “Who is this woman, and why is she talking like a real person instead of spouting inspirational quotes?”
Carly covers her mouth and Hannah stifles a laugh.
I grin at them and am about to give them a quote when the sidewalk cellar door bangs shut. Loud footsteps rush down the stairs and then down the hall.
“Who is that?” Hannah asks.
We all turn and watch the door.
“Did I ever tell you about that guy, the cellar psycho?” murmurs Brook.
But then Hannah shushes her, because a large, brooding man fills the doorway.
Carly pulls in a sharp breath.
“Wow,” Brook says. “That’s some Heathcliff going on right there.”
No one moves.
It’s Carly’s husband. And he looks…terrible. The last time I saw him he was in an expensive tuxedo, perfectly groomed, an arrogant, impatient, disapproving king of his domain. The last time I saw him I would’ve bet that Carly was right and he truly married her for her looks alone.
Now…
“Carly,” he growls.
Carly stiffens and raises her chin. “Theo. I’m in a meeting. If you would like to speak, do so through my lawyer.”
He draws in a deep, shuddering breath. His tie is loose, his suit wrinkled, his hair sticks up on end, and his eyes are bloodshot. He looks like a man that just found out he’s lost his whole world and he has no idea what to do about it.
He strides across the room, steps over the box of pie and comes in front of his wife. Carly flattens her lips and shakes her head. “I know you don’t like to lose, Theo. I understand that this is just like losing a merger or having a failing stock. It’s a hit to your ego. It’s intolerable. But don’t look at it that way. It will be easy, I promise.” She lifts her eyebrows and smiles. “You can get a newer, younger model. One who finds your terms of marriage acceptable.”
Theo flinches and the lines around his mouth deepens. He looks around the room, at me, Hannah and Brook, then back at his wife. “What is this? I thought you met at the Ritz on Thursdays. It took me hours to find you.”
Brook snorts. “The Ritz?”
Hannah waves at her to be quiet.
Carly crosses her arms. “No, Theo. I don’t meet at the Ritz. I’m sorry. I lied to you. I meet in a dilapidated, rat-infested basement.”
He raises his eyebrows and gives her a surprised look.
“There aren’t actually that many rats,” Brook whispers to me.
I shrug. I saw two last week.
Carly continues, “I also dislike six-hundred-dollar sushi and prefer six-dollar burgers. With fries.” Then her voice softens and she says. “I’m sorry, Theo. I haven’t been honest with you. I can’t continue our marriage.”
“Is there someone else?” he asks, and his voice sounds close to breaking.
Carly shakes her head quickly. “No. Of course not.”
“Then why?”
“I just…I can’t.”
Theo shudders and then drops to his knees in front of her. “Is it money? Do you want more? Carly, I’ll give you all my money. All of it. Just stay with me.”
Oh. My. Word.
Carly shakes her head no. “I don’t want your money,” she whispers.
Brook leans forward. “I’ll take your money.”
“Shhh,” Hannah hisses.
“What, he’s giving out money,” Brook says.
Theo looks around the room. He looks lost, confused, and nothing at all like the scowling, arrogant businessman I remember.
He turns back to Carly. “You don’t want my money?” He sounds surprised, the idiot.
Carly shakes her head. “No, Theo. I don’t.”
“I thought you were happy with our arrangement.”
“Not anymore.”
Theo drops his head. He says in a low voice, “Did you know, I was terrified when you agreed to be my wife. I knew someday money wouldn’t be enough. But I wanted you so much, I took the risk that you’d stay. I know I’m not a good bargain. I’m not what you deserve. But if there’s anything I can do to convince you not to go, tell me. Please tell me. I’ll give you the world.”
“Holy shit,” whispers Brook. “Ask for a Learjet. No, wait…an island. Ask for an island.”
I kick her in the shin.
Luckily, neither Carly nor Theo heard her.
Theo reaches up and grasps Carly’s hands, like they’re a lifeline. I can see her fingers shaking in his.
She’s scared.
I know she’s scared, because I’ve felt exactly the same way. Wait, I still do. It’s terrifying telling someone you love them.
She looks across the room and meets my eyes.
I nod at her, “Love is the best gift I’ve ever had the privilege to give,” I say in a quiet voice.
And I mean it.
I realize that I mean it.
I thought if I stopped loving then I’d no longer hurt. But I had it wrong. In life, there will be times that you hurt no matter what, whether you love or not.
I press my hand to my abdomen. I’m glad to have loved.
I think of Josh, cradling me in his arms. I’m glad to have loved.
I think of my mom and sister, my brother and dad. I’m glad to have loved.
I think of Jeremy, of my broken heart, and I’m glad to have loved.
I look around the room, at my friends, and I am glad to have loved.