I let out a shout and thrash my head, and the guards are so taken aback by my
outburst that they drop their weapons altogether. Their wide eyes turn to each other and have a silent conversation, one asking, what the fuck do we do, bro?
and the other responding, I don’t fucking know, she’s cracked.
“Hey, uh, just relax, all right?” the first guard says, his words the least calming thing I’ve ever fucking heard. Then he turns to his partner. “Call for back-up.”
But there’s a bullet flying through the second guard’s skull before the first can
fully finish his demand.
In mere seconds, Zade has whipped out his gun and shot him; the silencer screwed on the end keeping his crime quiet.
The first guard’s eyes widen, scrambling to take aim, but a bullet is tearing through his forehead next. His head snaps back, and he tumbles to the ground alongside his partner.
Zade wastes no time. He picks Xavier up and slings him over his shoulder, grabs my hand, and pulls me out behind him.
“Let’s go, baby girl. And when we get on our plane, I’m fucking holding you.”
I don’t recall if I answer as Zade tugs me toward the end of the hallway. He
mutters under his breath, most likely ordering Jay to do something, but the screaming in my head drowns out his words.
My body is moving on pure autopilot. I don’t remember how he got us out of
there. I don’t remember the three-hour flight home. I don’t remember anything at
all but the weight of Xavier on top of me, the clang of his buckle ringing in my
head.
Chapter 32
The Diamond
I’m fucking rattled, like an old A/C unit on its last leg.
We just arrived home. Zade is in the basement taking care of Xavier, and I’m
desperately grasping onto my last shred of sanity. Restlessness gathers in my bones, and I feel like an animal confined within my own cage.
Heart pounding, I close my bedroom door behind me and then pace the floor,
running my hands through my hair and pulling tight—a pathetic attempt to calm
the anxiety.
Don’t worry, diamond, I’ll make this nice and slow for you. I want you to feel
every inch of me.
No, I don’t want to.
Tears build in my eyes, and I shake my head, attempting to rid myself of that
demonic fucking voice.
I must’ve forgotten to lock the damn door because minutes later, Zade bursts
in and slams it shut, a wildfire raging in his eyes.
“We need to have a talk, Adeline. I’ve let you process for over four hours now. I need you to talk to me.”
Hysteria is consuming me, and what doesn’t he get? I don’t want to hear his
fucking words, nor do I want to give him mine. There’s too many of those in my head, and I’m drowning in them.
Whirling away, I bolt for my balcony doors. I’ve no idea what I’m going to
do once I get there—maybe just pitch myself over the rail and end it all—but his
arm is curling around my waist and turning me right back around.
The second my feet touch the ground, I wiggle out of his hold and turn to face
him.
“Stop it,” I snap. “Just leave me be, Zade.”
“How many times will you run away before you learn that you can’t escape
me?” he growls, getting in my personal space before I can even take a breath.
I take a step back, retreating from his intensity. He doesn’t let me go, though,
stepping back into me until I’m pressed against the wall.
“However many times it takes before you realize I don’t want to be caught,” I snarl, my own anger rising. I’m not even sure what I’m angry at, just mad that he’s mad.
Let me feel every inch of this sweet body, diamond. Fuck, you feel so good.
Don’t I feel good too, baby?
“You’re drowning, Addie. Just let me help you.”
I narrow my eyes, my mouth thinning into a straight line. “I’ve been doing fine!” I argue heatedly, growing defensive purely because he’s right.
I am drowning. And the scariest part—I don’t feel the need to come up for air.
“You’re not fine. And you know what? Neither am I. I’m not fucking fine at
all.”
His hand trembles as he brushes a strand of hair behind my ear.
The man who’s borne so much strength, a pillar of stone despite the ruthless
attempts made to knock him down. But the thing is, stone still crumbles. It still
breaks and chips and cracks. Even when it’s left standing, there will always be
missing pieces.
Here he stands before me, crumbling as we speak.
“I dream of all the ways I will make them suffer,” he whispers. “I dream of
their blood on my hands—between my teeth. I will kill every last one of them for you, little mouse, and I will fucking rejoice in it.”
I stare up at him, my lip trembling as I force myself to keep the emotions down. At first, I felt everything while trapped in that house. And then, I felt nothing.
And now, I’m left with a pile of broken pieces in my hands where my heart is
supposed to be, and I don’t know how to mend it without cutting myself deeper.
"I don't need you, Zade. I don’t need you to do anything for me."
He clutches the back of my neck and pulls me in. "See, that's what we're not
going to do, Adeline," he barks, baring his teeth. "We're not going to act like you're so tough that you don't need me anymore. Because you want to know something, baby? There are very few men in this world capable of killing me.
And I fucking need you. Do you understand me?"
I grit my teeth, refusing to answer.
"Do you think needing me somehow makes you weak?"
"Doesn't it?" I snap.
"No, baby, it makes you strong.” He bends down, putting his face directly into
mine. "I may own every breath in your body, but make no mistake, Adeline, you
own mine, too. I am yours to command. To bend and break. To mold and
manipulate. Do you think that makes me weak? Or do you think I'm strong enough to admit that even though my body can physically live on without you, I would never get my fucking soul back?”
His hand slides into my hair and fists the strands tightly.
"Without you, I will shatter. But with you, I am indestructible."
I suck in a sharp breath and clench my jaw against the different reactions circulating inside me.
But the most prominent—the worst one—is to do everything in my power to