By the time I was done, I felt wrung out, both emotionally and physically. My bad knee burned with every movement. Maybe I would just sleep on the sparring mats and save myself the trouble of trying to climb the stairs.
The music lowered, and Eli appeared at my elbow, offering me a hand up. He pulled me to my feet and steadied me when I almost wobbled over.
“You want to talk about it?” he asked quietly.
I sighed. Eli was my first officer. He deserved to know. “I asked Torran to help me with my mental shields. He didn’t do anything wrong, but I reacted poorly, and that led to a brief discussion of Rodeni.” Bitterly, I continued, “All of that, and I didn’t learn anything new about shielding. I don’t know how we’ll protect ourselves on Valovia.”
Eli went still. “Did he hurt you?”
My mouth twisted. “No, I managed that all on my own.”
“Did you tell him anything you shouldn’t have?” Eli asked, his voice quiet. There was no judgment in his gaze, but Eli always planned for the worst-case contingencies.
“Nothing that he can use against us. And if he tries, I’ll deny it loudly and publicly, like the good little FHP pawn that I am. You know I won’t risk you and Kee and Lexi.”
“It’s not us I’m worried about,” Eli said softly.
I squeezed his arm. “Despite the current evidence to the contrary,” I said with a wave at my sweaty clothes and aching knee, “I know how to take care of myself, too.”
His skeptical gaze spoke far louder than any words.
An early morning wormhole traversal meant another short night. I hadn’t slept well and the dark circles under my eyes were beginning to look permanent. Pretty soon I’d be mistaken for a raccoon.
The bridge was full when I arrived. Lexi and Kee chatted quietly with Chira, Havil, and Varro. Mostly Kee chatted and the others nodded as appropriate. Eli, Torran, and Anja were all busy studying their terminals—or at least pretending to.
From my shoulder, Luna chirruped in greeting, then leapt to Havil’s shoulder. All of the Valoffs had started wearing shoulder guards for her. And while Valovian expressions were often hard to read, Havil’s face softened when Luna chose him.
It hadn’t escaped my notice that all of the Valoffs had been slipping her extra treats. By the time this job was done, Luna would be three times her weight and spoiled rotten.
I’d worked on my mental shield in the hours while sleep had eluded me. From the way Havil frowned at me, I didn’t think it was working. My whole body felt bruised. Heading into enemy territory at anything less than 100 percent wasn’t smart, but I hadn’t been thinking clearly.
Torran glanced up from his place at the communications terminal. He nodded at me, his expression perfectly flat. I’d made a mistake in asking for his help, but I didn’t regret the decision. I would do whatever I could to keep my crew safe.
I dipped my head at him. I could pretend that everything was fine as well as anyone else.
“Lotkez will go through the wormhole first,” Torran said. “They are already in the pattern and will ensure you won’t be stopped on the other side.”
It was the whole reason his ship had trailed us rather than returning at the faster speed they were capable of, but it still set my teeth on edge. I didn’t know what awaited us on the other side of the wormhole, but another Valovian ship probably wouldn’t make much difference.
I nodded my acknowledgment as I settled into the captain’s terminal and checked on Starlight’s system. I confirmed the course and the wormhole anchor added us to the holding pattern. There were a dozen ships in front of us, including Lotkez.
One by one they disappeared, and the tension in the room ramped up.
Luna had abandoned Havil’s shoulder for his arms, and he buried a hand in her soft fur, stroking her gently.
“What’s going on?” Lexi asked, glancing around. She looked at me. “Are we about to fly into a trap?” While Lexi could be as subtle as a sylph when she needed to—and could lie better than anyone I’d ever met—her default state was one of pure blunt intensity. And so far, she hadn’t adopted a persona for the Valoffs. Either she didn’t have a solid read on them or her last job had been even worse than she’d said. My money was on the latter.
I lifted one shoulder in answer to her question. I didn’t know why the Valoffs hated the wormholes, and I wasn’t confident that we weren’t flying into a trap. Truly, I was a stellar captain.
“You can’t feel it?” Chira asked, her voice pitched low.
“Feel what?” Lexi asked.
That surprised a laugh out of Chira. “The wormhole. The field it emits. It’s like a shiver down your spine, except one you can’t block or ignore. The longer we stay close, the worse it gets. Traversal is worse still.”
Lexi frowned and glanced at Kee. “Do you feel anything?”
Kee shook her head. “Nothing like that, but I can kind of tell when we’re approaching a wormhole. Like static in the air or something.”
Lexi tilted her head in thought. “I suppose that’s true. Even in the belly of a battleship, I always knew when we were close.”
I hadn’t really thought about it, but they were right. It didn’t bother me, not in the same way it seemed to bother the Valoffs, but even in my quarters earlier, I’d known we were getting closer.
Lexi slanted a look at Chira. “That still doesn’t answer if we’re flying into a trap.”
Chira stiffened and her expression shuttered. “General Fletcher has promised safe passage into and out of Valovian space. If there is any trap, it will not be our doing.”
Lexi’s smile was as wide as it was fake. “Good to know.”
Chira’s phrasing struck me. Did she think that someone else would set a trap for us? Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past the FHP, but no FHP forces were allowed on the Valovian side of the wormhole. Did she know something about the people who’d stolen from Torran?
Before I could figure out if the wording had been intentional, we got the all-clear from the anchor and Starlight chimed the wormhole warning.
“Everyone strap in. We’re next.” I took my own advice and shrugged into my harness. Lotkez had already disappeared through the anchor, and Torran had sent word of our arrival to the Valovian forces guarding the other side, so hopefully there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings when we arrived.
But just in case, I brought Starlight’s active defense capabilities online. From his terminal, Eli saw the change and raised an eyebrow at me. “Expecting trouble?” he asked subvocally over the comm.
“Just being cautious,” I replied.
I hoped it wouldn’t be needed but being prepared never hurt. I also brought up our weapons systems. I didn’t fully activate them, because there was no reason to give the Valoffs an excuse to attack, but I could bring the ship into full battle readiness with a single command.
It might buy us enough time to get back to Fed space, assuming our access wasn’t blocked.