Heroes Are My Weakness: A Novel

When it became obvious Livia wasn’t going to respond, Alyssa looked at Annie. “What’s wrong with her? Why won’t she talk?”

“Shut up, Alyssa,” her sister admonished. “You know you’re not supposed to ask about that.”

Annie had grown used to thinking of Jaycie and Livia as being somehow separate from the community, but they weren’t. They were as deeply entrenched as anyone here.

The video game tussle between the three boys was getting out of hand. “It’s my turn!” one of them shouted.

“Is not! It’s my game.” The largest boy landed a hard punch on the one who’d complained, and then all three of them were on their feet ready to swing at one another.

“Avast, ye ragged curs!”

The boys froze, then gazed around, trying to find the source of the Captain Jack Sparrow voice. Livia was way ahead of the game, and she smiled.

“Stop yer caterwaulin’ or I’ll throw ye all in the bilge.”

The boys slowly turned their attention to Annie, who’d formed a puppet from her right hand. She eased down and settled her weight back on her calves, moving her thumb to make the puppet talk. “A good thing I left me cutlass on the poop deck, ye sorry excuses for sea dogs.”

Boys were the same everywhere. One mention of “poop,” and she had them in the palm of her hand.

She directed her makeshift puppet toward the smallest boy, a cherubic little towhead with a black eye. “What about it, bucko? Ye look strong enough ta sail on the Jolly Roger. Searchin’ fer the treasure of the Lost City of Atlantis, I am. And ’oo wants to go wi’ me?”

Livia was the first to raise her hand, and Annie nearly abandoned Cap’n Jack to give her a hug. “Are ye sure, me beauty? There be fierce sea serpents. It’ll take a brave lass. Are ye a brave lass?”

Livia gleefully nodded her head.

“Me, too!” said Kaitlin. “I’m a brave lass.”

“You’re not as brave as me, stupid!” Cherub face said.

Cap’n Jack growled. “Keep a civil tongue in yer head, lad, or I be keelhaulin’ you.” And then, out of habit, “There be no bullyin’ on the Jolly Roger. When yer fightin’ sea dragons, it’s all fer one and one fer all. Anybody on my ship who’s actin’ like a bully gets tossed overboard ta feed the sharks.”

They looked suitably impressed.

She had nothing but an unadorned hand for a puppet—not even a set of eyes drawn in with a marker—but the kids were enthralled. The largest boy, however, was no fool. “You don’t look like a pirate. You look like a hand.”

“Aye. And ye’re a smart one to notice. Me enemies cast a spell o’er me, and the only way I can unlock it is ter find the lost treasure. What say ye, mateys? Are ye brave enough?”

“I’ll sail with you, Captain.”

Not a child’s voice. But one that was exceedingly familiar.

She turned. A group of adults had gathered behind her to watch the show. Theo stood with them, his arms crossed over his chest, amusement dancing in his eyes.

Cap’n Jack gave him the once-over. “I’m only takin’ on strappin’ lads. Yer a bit too long in the tooth.”

“Pity,” Theo said, looking every bit the Regency buck. “And I was so looking forward to those sea serpents.”

The dinner bell rang, and a voice called out, “Food’s ready. Line up!”

“Avast, me hearties. Time fer ye ta eat yer hardtack and fer me to get back to me ship.” She splayed her fingers dramatically, giving Cap’n Jack a royal send-off.

Applause rang out from both the kids and the adults. Livia snuggled up at her side. The older kids began pestering her with questions and comments.

“How d’you talk without moving your lips?”

“Can you do it again?”

“I go out on my dad’s lobster boat.”

“I want to talk like that.”

“I was a pirate for Halloween.”

The adults began claiming their offspring and steering them into the food line that had formed to the serving counter in the next room.

Theo came up to her. “So much is now clear to me that was heretofore murky.”

“Heretofore?”

“It slipped out. But there’s one thing I still don’t understand. How did you manage the clock?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He gave her a look announcing that her denial was demeaning and that, if she had any character at all, she’d come clean.

The jig was clearly up. She smiled, sidled closer to him, then emitted one of her best moans, so quietly eerie only he could hear.

“Cute,” he said.

“Call it ‘Revenge of the Dumbwaiter.’?”

She expected him to ignore her. Instead, he looked genuinely remorseful. “I really am sorry about that.”

It occurred to her that neither one of her two long-term boyfriends had ever said “I’m sorry” about anything.

Livia ran off to join her mother. Jaycie was still with Lisa, but her attention was on Theo. As Annie went over to join them, she overheard Lisa. “You need to take her back to the doctor. She should be talking by now.”

Annie couldn’t hear Jaycie’s response.

They all lined up to fill their plates. Marie and Tildy from the Bunco group pulled Theo in with them and began peppering him with questions about his writing, but after he’d filled his plate, he left them to join Annie at the table where she was sitting with Jaycie and Livia. He took the chair next to Annie and across from Lisa and her husband, Darren, who was both a lobsterman and the island’s electrician. Livia eyed Theo warily, and Jaycie lost track of the conversation she was having with Lisa.

Theo and Darren knew each other from past summers and began talking about fishing. Annie noticed how easily Theo conversed with everyone, which she found interesting, considering how fiercely he guarded his privacy.

She was sick of thinking about Theo’s contradictions, and she turned her attention to her meal. In addition to a well-seasoned beef brisket, the boiled dinner included potatoes, cabbage wedges, onions, and a variety of root vegetables. With the exception of the rutabagas, which both she and Livia avoided like the plague, the rest was delicious.