He sighed again, but his lips had curled up at the corners, so I knew he wasn’t irritated anymore. “I’ll be back tonight.”
As soon as he walked out the door, I slumped against my pillows and felt tears burn my eyes. I hated to admit it to myself, but the truth was, after his behavior yesterday, I’d let that hope sneak back in again. I’d hoped that his tenderness, his affection, his irate reaction to what had been done to me meant that he finally realized how he felt about me.
God, I was such an idiot.
“When Caine called I was so freaking worried.” Rachel slumped on my bed beside me. “And then I stepped out of my door and saw this.” She slapped the tabloid newspaper on my knee.
A photograph of Caine and me occupied the lower half of the front page with the headline CARRAWAY’S PA ATTACKED OUTSIDE CARRAWAY FINANCIAL HOLDINGS.
“Oh my God.”
“Oh, it gets worse.”
I pulled the paper up toward me and began to read out loud, “ ‘Yesterday afternoon, busy workers in the financial district were horrified during lunchtime rush hour to witness Caine Carraway’s PA, Alexa Holland, loaded into an ambulance. Although there was no actual witness to the event itself, it has since been reported that Miss Holland, who is pictured above with Mr. Carraway at the Delaneys’ Alzheimer’s Benefit on Saturday evening, was brutally stabbed outside Two International Place. Miss Holland is said to be in recovery while the police search for the attacker.
“ ‘It is not clear whether Miss Holland was the victim of a targeted attack, or was just simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, but what is clear is that Mr. Carraway, of Carraway Financial Holdings, is pulling out all the stops to bring justice to his employee. An insider reports that he has hired private security to watch over Miss Holland while she’s in the hospital, and that he is working diligently with the police in tracking the culprit. Questions are being asked not only about the nature of the relationship between the beautiful PA and the wealthy CEO, but also of the mysterious secrecy revolving around Miss Holland’s family. Our investigator reports that Miss Holland is in fact the daughter of Alistair Holl …’ ” I trailed off, sucking in a breath.
“Go on,” Rachel urged.
“ ‘… the daughter of Alistair Holland, the son of Diamond heir and entrepreneur Edward Holland, who famously and mysteriously disinherited his firstborn almost twenty years ago. Alistair Holland divorced his wife, Patricia Estelle Holland, leaving behind her and their son, Matthew, while he went on to settle down in Connecticut, where he married Julie Brown, the mother of his daughter, Alexa Holland. Edward Holland and his family have not publicly acknowledged Miss Holland despite the fact that she’s been a resident of Boston for the last seven years. Edward Holland was not available to comment.’ ”
I looked up at Rachel, who was staring at me with something akin to hurt on her face. “Rach,” I whispered.
“Look. I don’t want to take away from the fact that you’ve been stabbed and I’m really scared and upset for you right now, but I can’t believe you didn’t tell me who your family is. I mean I knew your dad was a bastard, but I didn’t know he was also the son of one of Boston’s oldest and wealthiest families.”
“It wasn’t …” I worried my lip, wondering if my grandfather had gotten to my grandmother with the news before the tabloids. I remembered what he’d said to Caine before I drifted off, and his fierce vow went a little way toward soothing the hurt he’d caused me. Not all. I still didn’t know how to forgive him, but it meant something to me that he was finally looking out for me and not his family name. I’d been waiting on him appearing with my grandmother when Rachel showed up. Did this front-page news mean he wouldn’t show? “That side of my family … There are a lot of bitter feelings there, and the fact is that my dad had an affair with my mother and kept her on the side for years. When my grandfather disinherited him, his wife divorced him and he came crawling to us. I never knew any of that until seven years ago.”
“Wait …” Rachel frowned. “Why did your grandfather disinherit him?”
I sucked in a breath at the question, thinking of its ugly answer. “That’s not my story to tell, Rach.”
Thankfully she let it go. “So … you’re saying that you didn’t tell any of them that you’ve been in Boston this whole time.”
“My grandpa knows,” I admitted sheepishly. “We spend time together in secret.”
“Wow.” She threw me a sympathetic look. “Your life is really complicated.”
“Oh, you have no idea.”
She grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I want you to know I’m here for you. I get why you couldn’t talk about any of this, but now you can. No one should have to deal with this shit alone. I love you, Lex. I had a heart attack when Caine called to tell me what had happened to you. You’re my family. Okay?”
My nose stung with tears. This time good tears. “Thanks, Rach. Love you too.”
Rachel stuck around for a little longer, distracting me from the current scary status of my life by gossiping about her neighbors and her neighbors’ kids. Although it was a little unfair of her to complain about anyone else’s terrifying children, considering Maisy, I let her babble on because in her own way Rachel was almost soothing. She brought normality to me in that hospital room, and I needed that so much right then.
My friend was barely out the door when my grandfather showed up. Alone.
I looked beyond him expectantly, but the door to my room closed behind him.
Grandpa strode to my side, grabbed my hand, and squeezed it. “I told Adele last night, sweetheart, but she’s … She needs time. And with the news hitting the papers …”
I tried to pull my hand free. “I get it.”
Grandpa held on. “What you don’t get is that I love you and I will always love you. I made a mistake, Alexa, a terrible mistake that I have regretted ever since that night. I tried in my own way to see it right, but it can never be made right. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you and that you feel betrayed. But more than anything I’m sorry this horrible act of mine ever made you question my love for you.”
Tears burned in my eyes. “I just feel really alone.”
“Never think that. It took me too long, but I’m here now. You’re not alone.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It will take time. I can wait.”
And he started waiting right then, as I sat in silence and began the process of trying to forgive him.
A while later, just as Grandpa and I had begun to talk a little, Angela came in looking flustered. She scowled back at Don, one of my security guys, as the door closed behind her. “They really are obnoxious,” she told me. “I’ve got a short, frantic little guy outside claiming to be a friend of yours. Says his name is Benito.”
Holy hell.
I wondered if getting stabbed warranted forgiveness.
“Show him in.”
Angela pushed open my hospital door. “He’s allowed in, jackass,” she snapped at Don as she passed him.
I chuckled and then immediately winced at the pain from my wound. I guessed laughter was out for a while, then.
Benito marched into the room and slammed to a stop at the sight of me. It was like watching him walk into a brick wall. He paled as his big round eyes took in the scene before him. “Oh, dear God.” He hurried to my side and snatched up my hand. “Alexa … I had to come as soon as I heard.”
I gave him a somewhat confused smile. “It’s nice to see you, Benito.” What are you doing here?
He looked at my grandfather, his eyebrows raised. I so did not want to get into that with Benito.
Grandpa cleared his throat and stood up. “I’ll let you have privacy with your friend.” He bent down and pressed a sweet kiss to my temple. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”
I nodded carefully and watched him leave. I had to admit I felt a certain relief in having decided to try to mend the breach between us.
Benito squeezed my hand. “Edward Holland is your grandfather?”
“We’re not discussing that. At all,” I warned him.
He let go of my hand to pull the chair up beside the bed, the feet screeching across the floor in a way that didn’t even seem to compute with him. I gritted my teeth against the noise and waited for him to explain his presence.
“I feel just awful,” he launched in, gesticulating wildly. “You wouldn’t be in this hospital bed if I hadn’t fired you.”
I snorted. “And you drew this conclusion … how?”
“I was working on a shoot in New York yesterday. You would have been with me, nowhere near International Place.”
Ah. I got it now. He was under the impression that this was not a targeted attack. I, however, was still convinced I might have been assaulted because of Caine’s mysterious secrets. “We don’t know that,” I assured him. “We’re not sure what’s going on here.”
“All I know is that I’m a shit for firing you. I’ve been racked with guilt all morning. I came to apologize.”
The truth was I didn’t regret Benito firing me. What he did actually changed my life. Okay, so right now that wasn’t for the better, but the months before the attack had been the most amazing of my life. And although things were shitty now, at least I was reevaluating my future. If Benito hadn’t fired me I would still be working alongside him, existing on the perimeter of someone else’s career.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Let me,” he snapped impatiently.
“Fine,” I sighed. “Apology accepted.”