His words made me think of Penny, the things my sister once said about the doll’s power over our family, power that only seemed to grow stronger instead of weaker after I dumped it down the well. “So he never knew what you’d done to him?”
“Years later, when your dad was in dental school in Baltimore, I drove down on my motorcycle on a whim to see him. Should’ve known better, but I got this idea in my head that the two of us might have a brotherly visit. Shoot pool. Throw darts. Your father actually seemed happy to see me and was a good sport when I dragged him to a bar. A miracle considering what a Bible thumper he had become. He even drank two beers. Me, I drank too many. At some point during the night, he started talking about the things he saw in the student housing building where he lived. Even a little bit of booze always loosened your father’s lips, and he went on about how they had followed him from the theater. He had quit calling them that strange name by then, saying they were ghosts, plain and simple. Anyway, that’s when I realized I never should have let it go on so long. So I told him.”
“What did he say?”
“Nothing, actually. He just finished his beer and said he wanted to walk back to his apartment, since it wasn’t far. We weren’t ever big on hugging, so he shook my hand. I remember standing outside in the parking lot, watching him go. I didn’t see or hear from him again for almost ten years, when Rose was born. I showed up to see her in the hospital, bringing the first of those horses from the track as a peace offering. But it was never the same between your dad and me. The truth was, it hadn’t been since we were kids.”
I glanced across the avenue. If Heekin had noticed us, he gave no sign. We had come all that way, but none of what I’d learned put me any closer to the answer I needed most. “That night last winter,” I said to Howie, “I mean, the night they died, where were you?”
He looked to Lloyd, who stood quietly beside us on the sidewalk still, before turning back to me. “I’ve told you before, Sylvie. I was home in my apartment in Tampa. I’d lost another job and was drowning my sorrows in booze the way I used to do. I didn’t come out of it for a few days.”
As he spoke, I thought of my mother teaching me how to sense what was inside a person. And though I didn’t really believe I had any of her gift, I did believe that Howie was telling the truth.
“Sylvie!” Heekin had noticed us at last and rolled down his window. I called back that I’d just be another minute. And then I told my uncle I really did need to go.
This time, Howie didn’t try to keep me there any longer. Instead, he told me he was glad, after all, that I’d come to Philly. He also said he never planned to go along with Rose’s request for long. “That’s why I kept telling you we’d see each other down the road. Once I got the place up and running, and started making money, I planned to revisit—well, let’s call it the terms of my agreement with your sister. Even if she’s resistant to the idea, I want to help you. I want to be a part of your lives.”
I stared down at his arms, noticing a tiny horseshoe among the playing cards. My uncle reached out and pulled me close, tighter than before, in a final hug. He spoke into my ear, choosing the good one by chance, and telling me to call anytime, that Rose wouldn’t have to know. When he let go, I said good-bye to him and to Lloyd too, before crossing the avenue.
I expected Heekin to begin grilling me the moment I climbed into his cramped car. The thought of explaining all I’d learned before thinking it through myself felt daunting, and so I was grateful when the most he said was that I must be hungry, and to help myself to the sandwich and chips he had bought for me. I did just that, fishing lunch from the bag while the car’s engine sputtered to life. As we chugged away from the curb and moved down the street I watched Howie and Lloyd grow smaller and smaller in the side-view mirror, standing beneath the drooping marquee with its crooked letters until they were gone.
It wasn’t until we were on the highway south, sandwich and chips demolished, that Heekin spoke. He told me that even though it was just three o’clock, I probably felt tired after the long day. He said we could talk about whatever went on inside the theater when I was ready, same went for the unfinished stories he had begun telling on the drive up about his involvement in my parents’ lives. I did feel tired—drained by it all, in fact—so my only answer was to nod and lean my head against the window. It felt as though only a short while passed before we were rolling down the off-ramp of the highway then winding our way through the narrow streets of Dundalk. That’s when Heekin broke the silence at last, saying, “While I was waiting for you outside the theater, I thought of something.”