“Can’t say that I have,” she said, and she didn’t look like she minded the tickling at all. “And now you know. For next time.”
They ate dinner side by side on the couch, plates in their laps. When they were finished, Josh took the plates into the kitchen and then he said, “Do you want to stay and watch a movie?”
She held his gaze for what seemed like a minute but was probably only a few seconds and then she said, “Yes.”
Later, when he thought about that night, he couldn’t remember what they’d even watched. He could recall that he’d let her choose and that she’d chosen a comedy. “I can’t watch horror movies,” she’d said. “And I don’t like anything with violence. I can’t handle guns and knives.”
So, they’d watched a comedy and they’d stayed in the same spots on the couch that they’d been in all night. There was no sharing a blanket, no cuddling, no woman’s head resting in his lap as he played with her hair. But he wanted all those things and he didn’t think it would be long before he would ask Layla if she might want them, too.
It also seemed like both yesterday and forever ago that he’d been sitting on another couch with another woman, who, at the time, he couldn’t fathom no longer being married to.
chapter 34
Layla
Layla and Brian were messing around at the guitar shop after hours. They’d been refining their sets—adding songs and deleting others—but mostly they were playing for the sheer enjoyment of it.
“How do you feel about listening to something I wrote?” Brian asked.
“I’d love to. What’s it called?”
Layla took off her guitar and Brian settled onto his stool and began to strum. “‘Thankful,’” he said.
I thought we’d have forever
Not an expiration date
The time I’d invested
Now straight down the drain
I wallowed and raged needing someone to blame Hurt and broken I lashed out
Couldn’t even say her name
It’s hard to let go when you’ve done all the work So much time and effort and none of the perks It’s old news
Bad news
Nothing meant to last Get back in the game
Bring the lessons you learned from the pain They said don’t long for what broke you It’s in the rear view
Let go of the old
Make room for the new
I only half listened to their stupid advice Because everyone knows lightning never strikes twice Be thankful it ended
It’s not what fate intended
Let it crumble
Let it shatter
Years from now it won’t matter
Make your peace
Draw your line
Hold firm for next time
She’s out there waiting
Go and find her
So I guess the advice they gave me was true Felt that spark again the night I met you Picked myself up
Started living
And it happened by chance
It’s true life’s a journey
It’s true life’s a dance
Onward into the night
The love I found with you is the love that was right
“You wrote that?” Layla asked when he was finished. It wasn’t groundbreaking material and artists had been mining lost love since the dawn of time, but the arrangement and the lyrics worked together in a way that caught Layla’s interest right out of the gate. The quicker tempo made the song sound uplifting instead of maudlin or sad, and she instantly wanted to listen to it again.
“Wrote it fifteen years ago. Tried for a couple of years to sell it. I was going through a box of old crap the other day and came across it.”
“Former girlfriend?”
“Lana Hines. Ha! I can say her name now with no problem. Spent seven years with her. Lived together for five of them. Man, she stomped on my heart the day she told me she’d given me all she could, but that it wasn’t working for her anymore. Then she moved to Vegas. It was a dark time for me, and I thought I’d never get past it. Seems stupid now, but it didn’t at the time. I wrote the song because everyone kept telling me that someday I’d see the heartache in a different light because my soul mate was still out there somewhere. Blah, blah, blah. It all sounded like platitudes to me, but the lyrics poured out one night and I told myself there was nothing wrong with working through my feelings with a song. I started to feel better after that. Started dating again. A few years later, I met Jeannie. And I am incredibly thankful she’s who I ended up with, so maybe it wasn’t bullshit after all. I played it for her, and she loved it. She wants me to sing it to her at our wedding reception.”
Been there, done that, Layla thought.
“It’s beautiful,” Layla said. “It starts out like a break-up song, but it’s really a love song.” Layla especially liked the part about not clinging to the past and trusting that there was someone better on the horizon.
Brian handed her the sheet music. “Why don’t we play it together, but you sing lead this time? Switch the lyrics to the female point of view.”
“It’s your song. I can take backup.”
“Your voice is better. And I think maybe you can tap into the emotions right now more than I can.”
“I can try,” she said. But was Josh the person she would be thankful for years down the line? Committing to someone again and going through it all for the second time seemed like a monumental decision she wasn’t quite ready to make. But the more time she spent with Josh, the more she realized their lives were becoming intertwined.
They tweaked the song and played it so many times that Layla would hear it on an endless loop in her head until she went to bed that night. It was hopeful despite the raw lyrics about how much it hurt to lose someone you loved. The underlying message was simple yet profound, but the song was catchy as hell. “This is really good, Brian,” she said. “Like, add-it-to-your-playlist-and-sing-along-in-the-car good. What are you going to do with it?”
“How do you feel about recording it with me?”
“Like a demo? Are you going to try selling it again?”
“I thought I’d go in a different direction this time. How do you feel about us uploading it?”
“For people to stream?”
“Yeah. I mean, we’ll have to use a third party for uploading, but I’ve checked into it. I found one that’s like twenty bucks a year for unlimited uploads. We can make all the music we want.”
“Ten bucks apiece. Those are my kind of operating costs.”
“Mine too,” Brian said. “We’ve got nothing to lose. It’s not like we need the blessing of a record label to get airplay. Not in 2019.”
He made an excellent point. The music industry had undergone a significant metamorphosis since the last time Layla had entertained aspirations of breaking in. But if anything, the listeners had so many choices there was no guarantee they’d get airplay even if they uploaded the most fantastic song to ever hit the airwaves. The competition was still every bit as fierce. Maybe more so.
Then again, this could be the do-over Layla had been pining for since Storm Warning broke up. And she didn’t need to kick in five hundred dollars this time around.
“I say let’s go for it,” Layla said.