He Who Fights with Monsters 5: A LitRPG Adventure

“You realise that if magic exists,” she said, “it changes everything we know about the universe.”

“It doesn’t so much change it as expand it,” Jason said. “It’s just that the things we don’t understand turns out to be a larger pool than we realised. There are ways to explore beyond the boundaries of our universe. And it’s not like the scientific method is invalidated all of a sudden. In fact, I have a friend who is basically a research scientist, but his area is magic. Well, aspects of magic. As with science, there are many fields of study.”

Jason took her around the houseboat, which Emi found suitably impressive. One of Shade’s bodies accompanied them, giving Emi a look at his normal figure. In the kitchen, they met Taika, who they caught raiding the houseboat’s supply of coconut rum balls.

“There are a weird number of homemade snacks on this houseboat,” Taika said.

“You should see our house,” Emi told him. “Those snacks tend to be healthier than what I’m seeing here, though.”

“I need extra carbs and protein,” Jason said defensively. “I have a condition.”

“What condition?” Emi asked.

“Super powers,” Jason said.

“He does,” Taika said. “A bunch of bikers attacked our car, and he went all magic and stuff. I didn’t get to see much at the time because I was concentrating on driving, but it was all over the news.”

“That really was you on the news?” Emi said.

“Oh, yeah,” Taika said. “He got shot a whole bunch of times.”

Jason felt a streak of panic shoot through Emi’s aura and gave Taika a withering glare.

“Taika,” he said through gritted teeth. “Maybe we don’t tell my twelve-year-old niece about the horrifying situation we were in?”

“That was a horrible situation for me, but you’re impervious to bullets, bro.”

“Taika, maybe it’s time for that errand?”

“Oh, yeah. No worries, bro. You got the cash?”

Jason took an envelope stuffed with hundreds from his inventory and handed it over.

“Oh, damn. How much do you want me to get?”

“There’s a list in the envelope,” Jason said.

“Mr Asano,” Shade said. “Your family members have left the hospital and will be here in around twenty minutes.”

“Thank you, Shade.”

“How do you know that?” Emi asked.

“I have multiple bodies,” Shade said. “Your uncle has had me watching out for your mother, your grandfather and yourself since his arrival in this township.”

“You’ve been watching me?” Emi asked.

“Yes,” Shade said. “I have been hidden in the shadows around you, even your own.”

“Have you been watching me pee?”

“Mr Asano asked me to remain at a remove during your more delicate moments,” Shade said. “I feel that this compromises my ability to secure your person to the fullest extent of my capacity, but I have complied.”

“Shade,” Jason said. “I’m not going to let you watch her pee.”

“Miss Asano, I’m older than your species. I can assure you that I take no interest in your biological necessities. If you could convince your uncle…”

“No,” Jason said definitively.

“Wait, if you’re with me all the time,” Emi asked, “can you turn into a car and drive me places?”

“A car takes multiple bodies, while only one stays with you,” Shade said. “I could turn into a motorcycle.”

Emi’s head turned to Jason on a swivel, adorable eyes glistening with hope.

“Absolutely not,” he said.





Ian was driving back to Casselton Beach from the hospital on the outskirts of Castle Reach. Hiro was in the passenger seat while Erika and her father were in the back.

“I’m not sure we should have rushed off like this, Erika,” Ken said.

“Dad,” Erika said. “I want answers. Uncle Robbo is taking Nanna back to his place, so there’s no point hanging around the hospital. Ian, you’re driving too slow.”

“I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed those signs with the numbers on them next to the road, dear,” Ian said, “but they have to do with how fast cars are allowed to go.”

Erika groaned her complaint while Ken and Hiro chuckled.

“You’re a braver man than most, Ian,” Ken said.

“This family needs more women,” Erika muttered.

“If you’re looking to have another kid,” Ian said, “I still have my sexy pirate outfit. It kind of went to waste the other night.”

“Quite enough of that kind of talk, thank you,” Ken said. “Her father is right here, Ian.”

“Sorry, Ken.”

“Of course, if you are looking at giving me another grandchild, I could be convinced to cover my ears.”

“Dad, ick.”

“I’m not saying right here in the car, Sweetie,” Ken told Erika. “Although you could drop Hiro and me off while you two go—”

“Dad!”

“You know, you were conceived in a ’76 HJ Holden—”

“DAD!”

Ian and Hiro were laughing in the front, as Erika glared at her father.

They arrived at the Casselton Beach marina, Hiro directing Ian where to park.

“Should I just look for that crazy car of Jason’s?” Ian asked.

“It might not be here,” Hiro said. “You’ll be able to see the houseboat easily, though.”

“Holy crap,” Ken said as the houseboat came into view. “Is that it?”

“That’s the one,” Hiro said, pointing. “The jetty access is just there.”

“That’s Jason’s houseboat?” Ken asked.

“How is that anyone’s houseboat?” Ian said. “That’s bigger than our actual house. By a lot. Should we buy a bigger house?”

They piled out of the car as another car arrived and parked just one spot along. It was Taika, driving Hiro’s new car.

“Oh, hey, boss,” Taika greeted, and Hiro made introductions.

“What are you up to?” Hiro asked.

“Jason asked me to stock up the bar. He said he didn’t have any regular booze, just the magic stuff.”

“Magic stuff?” Ian asked.

“Right, you’re here to learn about all that,” Taika said. “I think alcohol was a good idea.”

The others offered to help Taika, each taking a crate of drinks from the car while Taika carried one under each arm.

“How much did you actually buy?” Hiro asked. They were leaving at least as many crates behind. As well as filling the boot, the crates were loaded up in the back and passenger seats.

“This is just the plonk,” Taika said. “It’ll probably be two runs for mixers and stuff.”





33





WHAT YOUR UNCLE HAS BEEN TELLING YOU





Erika approached the houseboat flanked by her family and the towering figure of Taika, all carrying crates of alcohol. Jason and Emi came out to meet them, standing on the lower deck that was level with the jetty. Jason waved them aboard.

“Thanks for helping with the drinks,” he said. “We may as well do this whole thing in the bar lounge. We’ll probably need those drinks by the time we’re done.”

“There’s a bar lounge?” Ian asked.

“Look at this place,” Ken said. “I’m guessing they started with a bar lounge and built a houseboat around it.”

“Jason, are you finally going to stop dodging me?” Erika asked.

Shirtaloon & Travis Deverell's books